Leaving your settings on general doesnt mean that you dont care about looks


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Saabboy93 is offline Saabboy93 Post #1  February 11,2010, 5:48pm
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Trying to figure out if eharmoney knows what I want..

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I'm becoming seriously frustrated with eharmoney lately. It seems that I took their advice on keeping my preferences broad however 99% of the matches that they are sending me aren't even close to what I would consider attractive matches. And for the exception of one date I'm not exactly benefiting from this experience. Is it shallow if you are not attracted to a persons profile photos? Its something I feel is imperative to any relationship. Of course there are extreme examples of being picky or shallow. But considering 90% of what we communicate is non verbal...I would say that looks matter. I'm no supermodel but I want to be attracted to my mate in more ways than just intellectual. I have to do something because I am seriously losing hope that this online thing s even possible.

Any thoughts???
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  February 11,2010, 5:52pm
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Next time you go to the grocery store, count up every woman you see.

Then, tally the attractive ones.

Then, come back and tell us why, exactly, you expect your matches to be any different?

If you get 1%, you either live in a better neighborhood than I do, or your standards are lower.

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It's not shallow, but the pickier you are, the longer you will need - and the more likely you are to find that those who you seek are expecting more from you than you bring (like a 99th percentile income.)
 
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StuckOnYou is offline StuckOnYou Post #3  February 11,2010, 7:26pm
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Only 1%? Not criticizing you, I mean we like what we like, but I think those are some pretty strict standards. I find a much larger cross-section of women physically attractive.
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #4  February 11,2010, 7:37pm
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Eharmony doesn measure atteactivness based on photos...it is based on PERSONALITY from what comes from the questionaire.
 
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MicMan is online now MicMan Post #5  February 12,2010, 4:24am
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I've found my matches run the full range of attractiveness. I've had some that would probably meet anybody's standard of attractiveness and I've had some that I don't find attractive. I would say that most of my matches are attractive enough for me. I couldn't even being to put a percentage on how many I find attractive.
 
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goosielucy is offline goosielucy Post #6  February 12,2010, 4:56am
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Good example and logic there D_Lion.

Actually, it may be a case of what you find attractive may be too narrow. It is what it is is pretty much all I can say to this. Goes the same way for women too when they look at the men's photos. Personally though, I have a wide range of what I may consider attractive.

I just wanted to add that it is true also that what I get as a sense of the personality of the person in what they've written can also make the person more or less attractive in the photo. Weird how that goes.
Last edited by goosielucy; February 12,2010 at 6:28am. Reason: additional comment
 
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