Learning more: "What do you find physically attractive?"


Reply
  • Page 1 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
activeteacher is offline activeteacher Post #1  February 11,2010, 4:39am
activeteacher's Avatar

is enjoying the wonderful countryside

Pacesetter

Joined: Oct 2009

Iowa

Posts: 283

See profile

This is got to be one of the most annoying questions eH has for the 2nd communication stage. What the heck is the point of the question? Why would someone ask this question?

How the heck do you answer this without alienating every person on the planet? (besides honestly) Few people are truly hideous enough to cause Stevie Wonder to flinch.
 
  Reply With Quote
Joti is offline Joti Post #2  February 11,2010, 5:02am
Joti's Avatar

Graduated in July!! WooHoo!!

Quick Study

Joined: Feb 2010

Ft. Myers, Fl

Posts: 227

See profile

With men the answer will always be T&A
Women like eyes or smile or sense of humor
 
  Reply With Quote
cal_dude is offline cal_dude Post #3  February 11,2010, 5:10am
cal_dude's Avatar

has more fun replying to threads than to matches

Enthusiast

Joined: Feb 2010

Posts: 817

See profile

This question came to me 3 times, once from a member without photos, and twice from members with blurry head shots. It seems they wanted to know my preferences without posting a useful photo. I think attraction and chemistry are dynamic and often unpredictable, and this question doesn't have a good point indeed.
 
  Reply With Quote
MicMan is online now MicMan Post #4  February 11,2010, 5:30am
MicMan's Avatar

is living life to 83% of its normal capacity.

Board Leader - Sports

Joined: Feb 2009

Posts: 2,964

See profile

This is pretty much an agenda/baggage question. My experience has been that often the people that ask this one are also the people that asked the body type preference multiple choice question. To me, it indicates that someone may be self conscious about their appearance and may not be very self confident.

I've also noticed that for the most part, the only women that ask me this question are also the overweight women. I've also seen these team up with the "Describe your ideal partner" question.

Most people are looking for a partner they are attracted to and I certainly fall into that category. That said, for me, what I find attractive can vary from person to person. Personality and attitudes can also factor in. I would not be interested in a relationship with a drop dead gorgeous woman that had a sour personality.

If someone has an agenda when they answer this, I don't think you can give a good answer because an honest answer may not be interpreted as honest or may be seen as a confirmation of bias.
 
  Reply With Quote
sony12 is offline sony12 Post #5  February 11,2010, 5:33am
sony12's Avatar

Veteran

Joined: Jan 2010

Posts: 1,958

See profile

Joti wrote :
With men the answer will always be T&A
Women like eyes or smile or sense of humor
Lol, what you are implying is that guys will be honest about how they want a great body who will give them lots of sex. Where as women are trying to cover up the fact that they want a guy with a great body who will give them lots of sex.
 
  Reply With Quote
sony12 is offline sony12 Post #6  February 11,2010, 5:38am
sony12's Avatar

Veteran

Joined: Jan 2010

Posts: 1,958

See profile

MicMan wrote :
This is pretty much an agenda/baggage question. My experience has been that often the people that ask this one are also the people that asked the body type preference multiple choice question. To me, it indicates that someone may be self conscious about their appearance and may not be very self confident.

I've also noticed that for the most part, the only women that ask me this question are also the overweight women. I've also seen these team up with the "Describe your ideal partner" question.

Most people are looking for a partner they are attracted to and I certainly fall into that category. That said, for me, what I find attractive can vary from person to person. Personality and attitudes can also factor in. I would not be interested in a relationship with a drop dead gorgeous woman that had a sour personality.

If someone has an agenda when they answer this, I don't think you can give a good answer because an honest answer may not be interpreted as honest or may be seen as a confirmation of bias.
Actually it is a good question to ask to find out how sexually open and comfortable the person is. In my opinion people who are un-open to this question will often be un-open during the relationship. That is why I ask the question and that is to find out how open the person is.
 
  Reply With Quote
Nanette is offline Nanette Post #7  February 11,2010, 5:53am
Nanette's Avatar

~ giving gentle smack-downs... vewy vewy gentle

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2008

Posts: 7,451

See profile

Joti wrote :
With men the answer will always be T&A
Women like eyes or smile or sense of humor
Yeah but men dont actually answer that way. Its what they are thinking, though.
 
  Reply With Quote
tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #8  February 11,2010, 6:12am
tweet37's Avatar

has all the tools and can........satisfy

Power Poster

Joined: Sep 2008

New Jersey

Posts: 7,608

See profile

activeteacher wrote :
This is got to be one of the most annoying questions eH has for the 2nd communication stage. What the heck is the point of the question? Why would someone ask this question?
Because they're probably ugly.
 
  Reply With Quote
jtkdp is online now jtkdp Post #9  February 11,2010, 6:12am
jtkdp's Avatar

gets right on to the friction of the day...

Veteran

Joined: Jun 2008

Colorado

Posts: 1,206

See profile

Joti wrote :
With men the answer will always be T&A
Women like eyes or smile or sense of humor
I'm not sure how I would say "T&A" diplomatically enough to avoid getting closed...

I've generally had the best relationships with petite women who have dark hair and blue eyes, and if the match looks like this, I'll mention it if this question is asked, however, I've dated all over the board, and my ex-wife is a blond.

I often answer that if a woman carries herself in a confident manner, and takes care of herself, (a cute hairstyle, soft skin, and a mani-pedi go miles in my mind to making someone more attractive), and doesn't wear torn, saggy sweat pants 24/7, I find that attractive. I'm also attracted to other features, I mean, face it, they all have a chest and a behind, and just having these is usually enough, but how many have a really striking face, or nice eyes?
 
  Reply With Quote
ScottK is offline ScottK Post #10  February 11,2010, 6:49am
ScottK's Avatar

Veteran

Joined: Nov 2007

PL, Minnesota

Posts: 2,301

See profile

activeteacher wrote :
This is got to be one of the most annoying questions eH has for the 2nd communication stage. What the heck is the point of the question? Why would someone ask this question?

How the heck do you answer this without alienating every person on the planet? (besides honestly) Few people are truly hideous enough to cause Stevie Wonder to flinch.
I agree. Its a dumb question.

If they have posted a Photo or two, and we are communicating, then they have already passed the "Is this person attractive enough for me" question, so why continue to harp on it?

I often want to write:
"You, or else I probably wouldn't have started communication"

Now, if they have NOT posted a Photo, then it is very likely that indeed, they are probably quite overweight or have serious body issues of some sort.

To me, asking the question is the Red Flag, not the answer that I might provide.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3


« Leaving your settings on general doesnt mean that you dont care about looks | Using eHarmony | one in a million? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Absolutely not. I have no idea why allowing gays to marry would affect anyone's lives, unless they're sexually insecure about themselves.” –  sun73

Join the “Did our President give up the election for a single issue?” discussion

“I learned that the woman's communication style has to fit mine or else it won't work.” –  sun73

Join the “Why do 40 yr olds still play games?” discussion

“Here's where to email if you think a match might be a fraud: matchconcerns@eharmony.com . Tell them the match's name and location so they can find them. If what's making you suspicious is an email ... ” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Match from another country...is he a "fraud"?” discussion

“I know you clarified you just want a general opinion on when people bring this subject up, but I'm going to give you both that and also what I believe you should do. The general idea most of the ... ” –  Herkemer

Join the “When is it time to discuss your position on having kids?” discussion

“And that's a very valid point. I get the feeling that eHarmony is keeping their price high to show they they are not cheap and therefore, their members are serious.It seems to me that combining the ... ” –  MicMan

Join the “Free Communication Weekend” discussion

“How long have you all been on EH? Thanks for the advice. I signed on in late April 2012 but have been on other dating sites in the past.” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “New Here” discussion

“The only one that bothers me is the "they weren't his kids so meh ..." But there could be a whole world of story behind that. Like "she dumped me and it was painful and I hated losing the kids in ... ” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 2:51pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0