Rena450 is offline Rena450 Post #1  February 9,2010, 9:29am
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is trying this again

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or shouldn't I be. The more we go thru the process of guided communication, the more uncomforable I am getting. Maybe I'm paranoid . . .by the way he initiated communication first and even though his profile didn't attract me I thought I'd give it a go.

1..First of all there is a picture of him along with 2 other people by an airplane and it taken from afar. You really can't get a good idea of what any of them look like. Under occupation he says that he is an international airline pilot/Reiki practiioner.

2. Under additional information: Only those that take the time will get to know that.

3. Here is one of the questions he asked me: In a marriage how would you feel if the woman makes significanly more money than the man?

4. Under "Can't Stands": Uninterested - I can't stand someone who does not want to have sex on a regular basis.

5. I asked him this question : Describe some personal habits that are important to you (I have never asked someone this question before, but, he just seemed real differenct to me and I was curious about this answer): his answer was "in time we will discuss this". I also asked him "How would you spend a romatic evening with someone you have been dating over one year" answer: after dating over one year I would hope to find out how that person would want to spend a romantic evening".

6. In an icebreaker I asked him to post additonal pictures - none so far has appeared.

Oh, yes . . . He is a homebody and rarely goes out, has no extended family and I have never had anyone respond to the guided communications as quickly as he does (I barely get done hitting send and he has replied)

I think I have to start listening to my "gut", maybe this guy is fine but just not for me.
 
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hankscorpio is offline hankscorpio Post #2  February 9,2010, 9:51am

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Rena450 wrote :
5. I asked him this question : Describe some personal habits that are important to you (I have never asked someone this question before, but, he just seemed real differenct to me and I was curious about this answer): his answer was "in time we will discuss this". I also asked him "How would you spend a romatic evening with someone you have been dating over one year" answer: after dating over one year I would hope to find out how that person would want to spend a romantic evening".
I'd have closed them right here. Those don't sound like the answers of someone ready for an adult level relationship.
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #3  February 9,2010, 10:37am
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Why is he not for you...where are the red flags???

He is asking you yjay question on income for two opposite reasons...either testing you to see how you feel about that (because he may make a significant amount more than many people he has dated) and based on your answers he may be watching to see if you are a hypocrit or have a double standard.....or...he may work for a company where he only works seaonally or he is a military reservist (air national guard) so he may have peaks and valleys with income where he makes more money during say the school year but in the summer he is limited with income because its a slow season.

Personally I dont like personnal habirs question...not sure what it means...does it mean hygiene rtpe of question or something else.

how he would spend a romantic evening...he doesnt have a plan and would do something based on what she likes to do as opposite to forcing her to do his thing. Each woman is different on what they find romantic and you go based off that.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #4  February 9,2010, 10:37am
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Rena450 wrote :
I also asked him "How would you spend a romatic evening with someone you have been dating over one year" answer: after dating over one year I would hope to find out how that person would want to spend a romantic evening".
I answer that question in a similar way, because I think it's a lousy question.

It's not that I don't know what a romantic evening involves, but that I would want to tailor it to my partner, rather than have a generic answer. Some people might want a night on the town, others might want to stay in, and it would be best to plan something that matches their preferences, which obviously I wouldn't know before I met them.

It's like asking me what restaurant I would take a date to, without knowing anything about her- well, that's going to depend somewhat on what she likes. I wouldn't take someone to a place they hate.

Just curious, what is your idea of a better answer to this one?
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  February 9,2010, 11:18am
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I see some at least small red flags.

1. Why does he (only) have a photo with other people that is to small to really see what he looks like and has not identified which one he is in the photo? (I get matches that do this also)

2. An actual international airline pilot is going to be making a lot of money so with rare exceptions is his match going to be making more money than he is. So this is an odd question to ask.

3. His Additional Information statement is just way off the wall for that section. If it was under the What Only His Best Friends Know that would be an acceptable answer.

4. I don't like having anything about sex in my MHCS but most on here will disagree with me. So I am not going to consider this as a red flag by itself.

5. His answer to your Personal Habits question is just way off the wall for this question. His answer to the Romantic Evening question is similar to how I answer this question

I don't see his responding quickly as a problem as I will frequently respond within a few minutes of a match sending me questions.

Being a homebody and never going out I find different even though it really fits me. I am an only child and my parents have passed away. I was never close to any of my cousins and most all live in other towns so I really have very little contact with them. I also will not go out by myself and have no single friends to go out with. I always considered my situation to be different from the norm so I would at least raise an eyebrow on this.
 
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Spider is offline Spider Post #6  February 9,2010, 11:18am
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I'm skeptical about an international pilot who is simultaneously a homebody. Is he maybe retired?

Any one of his comments or answers might be okay with me, but his pattern seems to be one of vagueness and avoidance in giving any precise information (including the photo!).

I'd pass on this one.
 
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MicMan is online now MicMan Post #7  February 9,2010, 2:57pm
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You're always free to close any match at any given time.

I'll hop on board and say that I don't like either of those questions. I'm still never sure how to answer the habits question and the romantic evening question is going to vary from person to person.
 
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jim35 is offline jim35 Post #8  February 10,2010, 7:27pm
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Rena450 wrote :
or shouldn't I be. The more we go thru the process of guided communication, the more uncomforable I am getting. Maybe I'm paranoid . . .by the way he initiated communication first and even though his profile didn't attract me I thought I'd give it a go.

1..First of all there is a picture of him along with 2 other people by an airplane and it taken from afar. You really can't get a good idea of what any of them look like. Under occupation he says that he is an international airline pilot/Reiki practiioner.

2. Under additional information: Only those that take the time will get to know that.

3. Here is one of the questions he asked me: In a marriage how would you feel if the woman makes significanly more money than the man?

4. Under "Can't Stands": Uninterested - I can't stand someone who does not want to have sex on a regular basis.

5. I asked him this question : Describe some personal habits that are important to you (I have never asked someone this question before, but, he just seemed real differenct to me and I was curious about this answer): his answer was "in time we will discuss this". I also asked him "How would you spend a romatic evening with someone you have been dating over one year" answer: after dating over one year I would hope to find out how that person would want to spend a romantic evening".

6. In an icebreaker I asked him to post additonal pictures - none so far has appeared.

Oh, yes . . . He is a homebody and rarely goes out, has no extended family and I have never had anyone respond to the guided communications as quickly as he does (I barely get done hitting send and he has replied)

I think I have to start listening to my "gut", maybe this guy is fine but just not for me.
So he could be not attractive, has hidden issues, is broke or makes little money, is a sex addict, is unimaginative, insecure of his looks, and is a homebody. Sounds like a winner.
 
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