Well_Spoken_Man1 is offline Well_Spoken_Man1 Post #21  February 9,2010, 8:23pm
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nunayabizness wrote :
It has nothing to do with being anyone's mother. It has to do with having the decency to tell the truth. it is about doing the right thing. It is better to leave the guy just hurt instead of hurt AND confused.
Point taken, I broke the 'no sarcasm online' rule there, but you're not suggesting that it's ok to post ten year old photos, you're just saying that if presented with the opportunity, why not help the guy out of future debacles by saying 'look you should've been up front with me, I'm sorry but I'm not attracted to you"...,It might sting a bit, but at least he could avoid having to revisit the same scenario...right?
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #22  February 9,2010, 10:01pm
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Ephemera wrote :
Pretty sure that judging a person based on their appearance is the definition of shallow.
So you don't care at all what your dates look like?

I would believe you, but only if you were blind.
 
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Ephemera is offline Ephemera Post #23  February 10,2010, 4:35am
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Mr. Flyer,
As I've said many time in the past - I do not get any useful information from a photo of a man. It shows me nothing and tells me nothing. In person appearance is so low on my list of what I find attractive about a person that it barely counts at all. I realize, mostly from reading these boards, that most people do not feel the same way about this issue as I do. However, for me - and only for me - it is too superficial and too shallow a way to determine who a person is and I do not believe that it is a correct way to assess another human being. Of course everyone has their own way of thinking and their own ways of choosing, but sometimes it does help to rethink some of our thought patterns in order to grow as people.
Oh - not blind, but do wear glasses to read.
 
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hankscorpio is offline hankscorpio Post #24  February 10,2010, 5:55am

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Ephemera wrote :
Pretty sure that judging a person based on their appearance is the definition of shallow.
Maybe the problem is the whole judging thing.

I don't make value judgments about someone based on someone's looks. I make attraction judgments (like is this someone I can exist in the presence of without having to stare at the wall doing my best to put my mind someplace else for fear of catching glimpse and throwing up in my mouth at the thought of sex?)
 
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nunayabizness is offline nunayabizness Post #25  February 10,2010, 10:57am

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Well_Spoken_Man1 wrote :
Point taken, I broke the 'no sarcasm online' rule there, but you're not suggesting that it's ok to post ten year old photos, you're just saying that if presented with the opportunity, why not help the guy out of future debacles by saying 'look you should've been up front with me, I'm sorry but I'm not attracted to you"...,It might sting a bit, but at least he could avoid having to revisit the same scenario...right?
Yes, that is my point. She should include the deception as one of the reasons she is not interested.

I think it is bizarre that people put up pictures that misrepresent themselves. How do they expect their date to react when the date sees them? Do they think the date will not notice the difference?

It is bad enough to omit unattractive features from photos (as in only using certain camera angles and such), but to actually post photos that are old and no longer reflective of one's appearance demonstrates nothing short of mental problems.

While we are on the subject, saying in the caption that the photo is from 2007 is no excuse for posting an old photo. What makes anyone think that someone wants to see a picture of them 3 years ago? I am meeting them NOW, not three years ago! I just close those people out. I am not messing with THAT bees nest of craziness.
Last edited by nunayabizness; February 10,2010 at 11:02am.
 
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nunayabizness is offline nunayabizness Post #26  February 10,2010, 11:01am

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Ephemera wrote :
Mr. Flyer,
As I've said many time in the past - I do not get any useful information from a photo of a man. It shows me nothing and tells me nothing. In person appearance is so low on my list of what I find attractive about a person that it barely counts at all. I realize, mostly from reading these boards, that most people do not feel the same way about this issue as I do. However, for me - and only for me - it is too superficial and too shallow a way to determine who a person is and I do not believe that it is a correct way to assess another human being. Of course everyone has their own way of thinking and their own ways of choosing, but sometimes it does help to rethink some of our thought patterns in order to grow as people.
Oh - not blind, but do wear glasses to read.
If you do not need to be physically attracted to your partner, then that makes you an anomaly.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #27  February 10,2010, 11:02am
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Ephemera wrote :
Mr. Flyer,
As I've said many time in the past - I do not get any useful information from a photo of a man. It shows me nothing and tells me nothing. In person appearance is so low on my list of what I find attractive about a person that it barely counts at all. I realize, mostly from reading these boards, that most people do not feel the same way about this issue as I do. However, for me - and only for me - it is too superficial and too shallow a way to determine who a person is and I do not believe that it is a correct way to assess another human being. Of course everyone has their own way of thinking and their own ways of choosing, but sometimes it does help to rethink some of our thought patterns in order to grow as people.
Oh - not blind, but do wear glasses to read.
Interesting that physical attraction does not matter to you. I assume you also don't care about things like height and weight?

Are you secretly an android?
 
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Ephemera is offline Ephemera Post #28  February 10,2010, 2:46pm
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It's not so much that I don't notice what a person looks like - it's more that I need to interact to know what they look like to me. It's about how they speak and how they smell and the twinkle in their eyes and a million other things that a photo doesn't show. And no matter what the outside may look like it will be ugly if the inside is ugly and vice versa.
I don't think that I am an android - would that be a good thing or a bad thing? How would I know?
 
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ratedPG is offline ratedPG Post #29  February 10,2010, 3:06pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
Wonderwoman said it well.

However, as an aside I have to say that I have never met a match that looked like their photos. Maybe in person he does not look as old as he appears in his photos. Maybe he looks distinguished instead of just old.

Ya know...amazingly...there ARE some of us...who look JUST like thier pics!
 
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