What NOT to say in your “About Me” Profile


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Montucky is offline Montucky Post #541  June 17,2010, 11:44am
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is in love w/ a Brazilian... this looks doomed.

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I keep coming across women who put, "Books aren't my thing" This to me comes off as you being illiterate! Women should just put, "Who has time to read!" or " More magazines than books"" or something
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #542  June 17,2010, 12:00pm

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I think this is good advice for everyone, Montucky!

People who aren’t into reading could even (as you suggested) make a quip or describe the magazines they read and why, or the movies they watch and why. It seems in the social media society that we live in, more and more people are looking to other forms of written entertainment (like eHarmony Advice discussions).

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jjwolf is offline jjwolf Post #543  December 2,2010, 5:27am
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After signing up for eHarmony last July, I decided to move from New Mexico back to California sometime in 2011 and thought that in all fairness, I should put that in my "other things you want people to know about you" section, especially since I am being matched with many men in Southern California. Is that too much information? I can't seem to get past the email stage in communicating.
 
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charmed59 is online now charmed59 Post #544  December 2,2010, 6:26am
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jjwolf wrote :
After signing up for eHarmony last July, I decided to move from New Mexico back to California sometime in 2011 and thought that in all fairness, I should put that in my "other things you want people to know about you" section, especially since I am being matched with many men in Southern California. Is that too much information? I can't seem to get past the email stage in communicating.
That fact will weed out all guys that aren't interested in a long distance relationship, as the folks in New Mexico will only be nearby until you move, and the folks in Southern California will be long distance until you move. So until you move, you are limited in who you can realistically enter into a long term relationship with.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #545  December 2,2010, 6:46am

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jjwolf wrote :
After signing up for eHarmony last July, I decided to move from New Mexico back to California sometime in 2011 and thought that in all fairness, I should put that in my "other things you want people to know about you" section, especially since I am being matched with many men in Southern California. Is that too much information? I can't seem to get past the email stage in communicating.
Hi Jjwolf,

I don't think it's too much information, personally. I think it's thoughtful of you (and wise) to provide that information. It just may work for some of your matches.

You could go a step further and mention any kind of flexibility you have -- are you willing to meet people in New Mexico should you have a mutual interest? Are you willing to explore a long distance relationship? Those might be things to mention, with the intention that you're showing a sense of willingness to work with someone who is right for you.

Not getting past the e-mail stage is normal, and even preferable if the matches doesn't have potential. One good thing about moving is that it will reveal if a match is truly interested in you. It takes more interest and motivation for someone to be willing to work out a long distance situation.

Good luck!

~Kate
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deepeek is offline deepeek Post #546  January 18,2011, 7:30am
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geni wrote :
Oooo, so true! I definately reject someone who doesn't spell correctly or is grammatically incorrect. I married someone who says a few things grammatically incorrect and it is REALLY grating on the nerves. At those times, it makes me feel like a married a moron, not a man with a master's degree who works for some of the highest people in government.
Likewise, having an accurate view of oneself is important. For example: while your husband may struggle to formulate a sentence recognizable as English, your own comment (quoted above) has errors of its own. I list these not to attack you personally (sorry about choosing you, by the way), but to point out that while it is your prerogative to judge by your own criteria, expressing those judgments on a forum might be a bad idea unless you have the wherewithal to avoid making your comment ironic. So without further ado:

--"I...reject someone who...is grammatically incorrect." For all its ubiquity, the verb "to be" (AKA are, is, was, etc.) is very powerful and oft misused. Adjectives applied with this verb must, by definition, apply to the entire person. So "American" would be appropriate, but "grammatically incorrect" would not.
--"I married someone who says a few things grammatically incorrect..." In this statement, "incorrect" is an adverb that modifies "says"--but "incorrect" is an adjective. "Incorrectly" is the adverbial (and correct) form.


These were not the only errors--or even the most obvious--but you might consider cutting your husband some slack, knowing that your errors are similarly offensive to others.

--Someone who had a bad day
 
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nick219 is offline nick219 Post #547  January 18,2011, 8:11am
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Montucky wrote :
I keep coming across women who put, "Books aren't my thing" This to me comes off as you being illiterate! Women should just put, "Who has time to read!" or " More magazines than books"" or something
Back when I was on match.com I came across quite a few women who listed Cosmo as their favorite book. They might as well have just said, "I'm shallow, not very smart, and have no intellectual curiosity whatsoever." I'm not saying there's anything wrong with reading Cosmo, but calling it a book? Let alone your favorite book? C'mon. I never messaged these women, even though they were usually very attractive. (Must be those Cosmo beauty tips.)
 
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