cocobunny is offline cocobunny Post #1  January 2,2010, 8:37am
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Hi Everyone,

I have only been with eharmony for two months and I have noticed some strange behavior. Often, after closing a match, I get a request to reopen with the statements "...I'd like you to reconsider", "If we met, I think you would have different ideas about who I am"...or both. Twice now, I have reopened them because I give them the benefit of the doubt that maybe they are bad at writing profiles and see something I don't.

Each time, the same thing has happened! The guy then closed me off stating 3-4 strange reasons even though they asked me to reopen. I can "feel" the anger from them. What is this about?

This behavior seems just psycho to me. And it kind of makes me think, "Gee, I must be some kind of fabulousness for them to get thier nose so bent out of shape over this." It makes me laugh, honestly, but I think it's also very unbalanced behavior.

What is this about? Have many of you gotten this?
 
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lil_lamb is offline lil_lamb Post #2  January 2,2010, 9:06am
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that never happened to me. but i think it's unbalanced, and i imagine they're new to online dating.
 
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gcoleman99 is offline gcoleman99 Post #3  January 13,2010, 9:07pm
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It sounds to me like they're very passive-aggressive to do that. If they're doing that just because you closed them, than you're way better off knowing that before you ever went out on a date with them.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #4  January 13,2010, 11:15pm
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Thats just plain creepy.
 
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insertscreenname is offline insertscreenname Post #5  January 14,2010, 6:34am
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That hasn't happened to me yet. It sure sounds creepy. Not too mention childish and insecure. Good riddance to them!
 
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JWolf is offline JWolf Post #6  January 14,2010, 9:03am
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Some people can not handle rejection. Ah well.
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #7  January 14,2010, 9:12am
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I know men can be a strange breed. But you say it has happened a couple (more than 2?) of times and all in the same way. So, what are YOU doing after you reopen them? Is it close to OC and you ding them in your communications for it?

I think if you see a pattern, then you may want to look at how you treat them after you reopen them.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #8  January 14,2010, 9:32am
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What interaction did you have with them between the time you reopened them and they closed you?

It could be that these guys are just mad at the world and get some kind of weird satisfaction from closing you after you reopen them.

Just realize a certain percentage of people out there, online or offline, are psycho and just don't behave rationally.
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #9  January 14,2010, 10:41am
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I have not had this happen to me. But when I close someone I dont reopen them. I have had a few ask. Maybe you need to respect your desisions. You seem to have made good ones to begin with and with their actions it confirms that you did. Trust yourself.
 
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insertscreenname is offline insertscreenname Post #10  January 16,2010, 4:20pm
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Funnily enough this happened to me today!

A few days ago I received a re-open request from a match I closed stating that their photo had been uploaded blah blah blah. So I re-opened her thinking what the heck, let's see what happens. I view her profile and sure enough there was no photo. Waited a couple days and even sent questions in the meantime to find out more about her. She answered and sent questions of her own. Checked this morning and there was still no photo. So I answered the questions and in one of them I mentioned that I still couldn't see her photo and what was up with that? Got a closed message several hours later! LOL! I just wished her good luck in my final response.

People are weird.
 
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