Online Dating 101: Photos

Online Dating 101: Photos

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Online Dating 101: Photos


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juswannahelp is offline juswannahelp Post #21  November 6,2009, 12:45pm
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wow there are some shallow people on here...........thats sad that some of you guys are having a hard time
 
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rotnrobie is offline rotnrobie Post #22  November 11,2009, 10:52pm
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Unfortunately online dating is 99% about the photo that you put up.
With my normal profile on match,
I would get a couple of women a month that write to me.
So I tried an experiment, I replaced my photo with one of a hot looking unknown actor 1/2 my age (I'm almost 50). Within 24 hours I had 30 emails.
Then I used the same attractive photo and wrote the text so that he was an arrogant jerk. Still the ladies hit on him like flies on a fresh turd. These very same women go on in their profiles about how they want someone who is nice and caring for their life long love blah blah blah. What total BS! What would this young guy want with a bunch of middle aged women? And the only lasting thing they would get would be an STD....

I was going to invite them all to meet "me" at the same location at the same time. Imagine how funny it would be to see all these lovely ladies dressed to the max standing in a row waiting for Mr wonderful.

Anyway Eharmony does work better, and feeds your matches to you slowly enough that you look beyond the photo. I have since found someone so I no longer need to do this....
 
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Cimaronna is offline Cimaronna Post #23  November 20,2009, 10:16pm
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Kudos princess1085! Not only is that an excellent list but also very similar to my own. There's no need to repeat your list, though. Mine is just in a different order. I look at statements made first. While I am doing that I check spelling and evaluate grammar, etc.

Before the guys jump on this, let me inform you that the photo is that absolute last thing I look at on a profile. If everything else looks good to me, only then will I scroll back up to see the photo. If I am completely repulsed, I will close. There have been very few (less than 10) men that I have closed out due to looks. Everyone else gets a chance if they want one.

I know that I am nowhere near the best looking female out here. There are many more who are much better looking than I am. I do, however, get tired of being evaluated on looks alone. It comes with the territory, unfortunately.

We all need to present ourselves in the best possible manner while we search for our best possible mate. Sadly, I also have to agree with juswanna help. There are some extremely shallow people out here. On the good side, there are a lot of magnificent people out here, too. If you are patient, you will find your match.
 
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StPaulGuy is offline StPaulGuy Post #24  November 21,2009, 7:36pm
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rotnrobie wrote :
Unfortunately online dating is 99% about the photo that you put up.
With my normal profile on match,
I would get a couple of women a month that write to me.
So I tried an experiment, I replaced my photo with one of a hot looking unknown actor 1/2 my age (I'm almost 50). Within 24 hours I had 30 emails.
Then I used the same attractive photo and wrote the text so that he was an arrogant jerk. Still the ladies hit on him like flies on a fresh turd. These very same women go on in their profiles about how they want someone who is nice and caring for their life long love blah blah blah. What total BS! What would this young guy want with a bunch of middle aged women? And the only lasting thing they would get would be an STD....

I was going to invite them all to meet "me" at the same location at the same time. Imagine how funny it would be to see all these lovely ladies dressed to the max standing in a row waiting for Mr wonderful.
This is good stuff. Internet dating is definitely slanted far more to looks and physical attraction than one would think or tries to believe.
 
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hope2306 is offline hope2306 Post #25  December 29,2009, 9:44pm
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I'm not going to lie. The photo is the first thing I look at. I look for men who match my own level of attractiveness and personality. I think most people look for the same. I feel that photos give me very good idea of the person's personality, more so than the written profile. I can see if they're fun, sloppy, goofy, insecure, introvert, life of the party, sporty, casual, serious, who they surround themselves with, etc. And yes, I want to be attracted to my date. What's wrong with that? If that means I am shallow, so be it. I think that men are pickier than women when it comes to looks so I don't understand why they get so bothered when they get closed. I'm sure many guys have closed me because they didn't like my photos. That's ok. I don't get all bent out of shape. I can't be everyone's type. If the photo is good but the profile is not what I'm looking for, I will close. Why waste my time, right?
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #26  December 29,2009, 10:01pm
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StPaulGuy wrote :
This is good stuff. Internet dating is definitely slanted far more to looks and physical attraction than one would think or tries to believe.
Of course, with traditional dating, looks don't matter at all.
 
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Sullyboy is offline Sullyboy Post #27  January 22,2010, 6:30pm
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I hope this dateing site works better than the other ones .
 
 
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TXButtercup is offline TXButtercup Post #28  February 12,2010, 4:38pm
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It was interesting to read all the replies to this. I think there is no denying that physical attraction plays a part in any sort of dating. In general I find that women are less discriminating about it than men are.

That said, I do wish more people would show a clear headshot with decent lighting and no hat. I want to be able to see a person's face and not so tiny that I can't even tell if that is a smile. I also don't really get why so many men feel the need to show themselves unclothed. If I am interested in a relationship with them, it isn't going to be just for sex, so what they look like without clothes on isn't the first thing I am thinking about.

As others have said, an incomplete or poorly filled out profile is much less interesting. After all, if this is the person's best effort, how much is he going to put in getting to know me and letting me get to know him going forward?

And it is really hard to keep emailing back and forth in an attempt to get to know enough to decide whether to meet in person when the guy can't put two sentences together or bother to say something new. I have actually had a guy send me an email, I sent a response and asked some questions and all I got back was another email saying how much he liked the way I look.

I don't have a look that will appeal to everyone and that is okay with me. I tend to be more forgiving about looks because I want someone I can connect with in other ways, but I do care about a smile. A person that can't smile in the only photo they put online doesn't send out the best message.

So please:
*smile in the photos
*have some close up shots so I can see your eyes and smile
*leave your clothes on
*put some real thought into how you fill out your profile

And maybe, just maybe all of us can give folks who engage us with what they write a chance (unless they just completely repulse you) - you can usually find something attractive about the majority of people.
 
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cheries is offline cheries Post #29  February 16,2010, 8:14pm
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have a good friend who loves you take a new one. make sure they are telling you how terrific you look so you'll look you're very best. omg! i saw a scary one the other day. the guy had obviously taken it himself, the angle gave it away. he was in front of his washroom! a real class act.
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #30  February 16,2010, 9:06pm
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Funny, I was just about to either start another thread about photos or find one to bump. So, here goes.

Things that make me want to close, even with a phenomenal profile:

1. "Gang" hand signs. (And these are men in their 30's!) Immediate close.
2. Tiny photos where we cannot see your face. Yeah, your hair is black, but what color are your eyes?
3. All taken on the same day, in the same clothing.
4. Scowls.
5. Obviously cropped out the ex girlfriend or wife. If it's a sister or cousin, say so in the caption.
6. Blurry. All of them. Please, I may need glasses but come on.
7. Pick the man shots. A shot of three men, all about the same age. Caption does nothing to identify. (If I don't like the first can I exchange him for one of the other two?)
8. Messy house in the background. Not normal messy, but pig sty messy.
9. Pictures of you with some hott girls at Vegas or Hooters. If you're wearing a Cheshire Cat grin, it's even worse!
10. Only photo is with you in sunglasses.

By the way. I do read the profiles first. If I see a ton of misspellings and "I'll tell you later" responses, I'm less than interested. If every answer is a "funny" answer, that isn't great either. We all have a sense of humor, but I want to know the serious side as well. And a huge turn off for me is negativity. If all you write is how awful things have been for you and that you can't trust anyone because of how horrible people are, I'm gonna close ya!
 
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