vragosta is offline vragosta Post #1  December 29,2009, 11:17am
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I've been on EH for a month now and I'm sad to say I'm really disappointed.

I was interested in one guy and we got to the 4th stage of communication where I was then waiting for him to agree to open communication where he then stopped. I waited about a week and gave him an ice breaker, he gave me one right back saying let's chat. I was so confused, thinking my EH was broken or something wasn't right. I waited about 2 weeks and got nothing and closed the match.

I find matches take a REALLY long time to respond, even if they have viewed my profile and i have sent them questions, i get nothing in return. Also, I don't know if it's just the guys on here but 98% of mine don't have photos! it drives me crazy. And when I request a photo I get nothing.

I don't think matches should be taking 3 weeks or so to respond, am I wrong?

I just want to know if I'm doing something wrong and unaware.

Thanks
 
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kneo24 is offline kneo24 Post #2  December 29,2009, 12:40pm
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Most of the matches without photos are non paying members.

From experience, no, matches shouldn't take three weeks to respond, but they sometimes do. People have lives and get caught up in them, especially during this time of year.

I was in OC with another person and didn't communicate with them for two weeks. My PC went down and I had to wait for parts to come in, some didn't work, had to RMA those to get other parts, and so on until I finally got everything set up. She understood, thankfully.

Life happens. I usually wait about a month before I close people out. They always have the option of showing interest so I can reopen them.
 
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bretagne89 is offline bretagne89 Post #3  December 29,2009, 12:43pm
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A lot of people are bummed with the lack of eH activity lately, but it's mostly due to the holidays. People are busy with work and family matters, and not looking for new dates as much. I've read in other threads that activity picks up around and after Valentine's Day.

About the lack of communication/pictures: plenty of people that you get matched with are going to be non-paying members who can't contact you (they also usually have no photos/incomplete profiles).
 
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FebruaryStars is offline FebruaryStars Post #4  December 29,2009, 1:16pm
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I feel your pain. I have been on eHarmony for about a month too. I have communicated with a few guys. Only one of which I got to openly communicate with. I ended up closing the match because he never did respond to my last email. As others have said, I think that the matches without pictures are non-paying customers and the ones with pictures may not even be active users. I called eHarmony customer service and they said that there is no way for them to know if the members are active or inactive. (It doesn't sound right to me, but whatever.) I really like the "idea" of eHarmony because it isn't a dating site. The fact that it is not free and your matches are selected for you, eliminates potential matches that are only looking for a quick hook-up. I will stay with eHarmony until my membership is done, but I wouldn't necessarily recommend it based on my experience so far. I am hopeful though!

Also something to consider, when I called customer service the agent recommended that I unselect "no preference" under my settings for religion and race. Instead select the specific religions and races that you would consider dating. I looked at all of of my settings and tried to be a little but more specific. After doing so, my matches got a little bit better, but I have yet to reach open communication with any as of yet.
Last edited by FebruaryStars; December 31,2009 at 2:59am.
 
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ScottK is offline ScottK Post #5  December 29,2009, 4:43pm
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FebruaryStars wrote :
I called eHarmony customer service and they said that there is no way for them to know if the members are active or inactive. (It doesn't sound right to me, but whatever.) I really like the "idea" of eHarmony because it isn't a dating site. The fact that it is not free and your matches are selected for you, elmininates potential matches that are only looking for a quick hook-up.

Also something to consider, when I called customer service the agent recommended that I unselect "no preference" under my settings for religion and race. Instead select the specific religions and races that you would consider dating. I looked at all of of my settings and tried to be a little but more specific. After doing so, my matches go a little bit better, but I have yet to reached open communication with any as of yet.
This is partially wrong...

EHarmony *CAN* tell whether a specific Profile/Match is active or not.
They obviously log each and every login from each Profile/Match.

It would be very trivial for them to have a "Last login date" or some such thing.

Eharmony actively chooses NOT to provide us this information.
They claim privacy reasons, and perhaps there is a little nugget of truth to that.
(Although I am of the belief that when you join a site like EH, you trade away some of your privacy, in turn to get better Matches/better experience on said site)

But obviously the real answer is, they don't want us to know that out of the 5-7 Matches they sent to us that day have not logged into EH in 6+ months.
That would make people even more mad, and thus cause angry calls to EH support.
By not providing data like last login time/paid/not-paid, it allows us to have "hope" that that great Match you got today is a paid member, and will respond back to us...
Hope Springs Eternal.

As for their other suggestions, they are reasonable ones, and should be noted for others to see.

However, be aware, switching away from No Preference will cause you to "miss" potential good Matches because EH will filter them away before you get a chance to see them...
I take the view that you should be very broad in your settings, except for your biggest dealbreakers, and instead, do the filtering yourself after the Match has been delivered.

That way you are guarenteed that its YOU making more of the decisions instead of EHarmory.

Good luck on EH!
Last edited by ScottK; December 29,2009 at 4:46pm.
 
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fjp5 is offline fjp5 Post #6  December 29,2009, 6:14pm
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I wish EH would display when the person last logged into the site. Even it was vague like "last log in today" not the exact time just that the person has logged in within the past month..
 
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fjp5 is offline fjp5 Post #7  December 29,2009, 8:16pm
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vragosta wrote :
I've been on EH for a month now and I'm sad to say I'm really disappointed.

I was interested in one guy and we got to the 4th stage of communication where I was then waiting for him to agree to open communication where he then stopped. I waited about a week and gave him an ice breaker, he gave me one right back saying let's chat. I was so confused, thinking my EH was broken or something wasn't right. I waited about 2 weeks and got nothing and closed the match.

I find matches take a REALLY long time to respond, even if they have viewed my profile and i have sent them questions, i get nothing in return. Also, I don't know if it's just the guys on here but 98% of mine don't have photos! it drives me crazy. And when I request a photo I get nothing.

I don't think matches should be taking 3 weeks or so to respond, am I wrong?

I just want to know if I'm doing something wrong and unaware.

Thanks
What you experienced it sadly normal. The never ending matches keeps everyone busy so he may have been into contacting you then someone else caught his eye.

I have been doing research on other online dating sites for a work project and one I liked a lot is okcuipid, it is free to use,. 100% free, everyone has a picture and the communication flow there is vast.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #8  December 29,2009, 8:54pm
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ScottK wrote :
Eharmony actively chooses NOT to provide us this information.
They claim privacy reasons, and perhaps there is a little nugget of truth to that.
That's BS. How recently you logged in has nothing to do with privacy, especially when you've already been matched with someone.
 
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tlcfit is offline tlcfit Post #9  December 29,2009, 9:08pm
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OMG You are way ahead of the game. I have been on EH for 4.5 years and just got my first match today. Talking about am I doing something wrong?
 
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