mintbuffalo is offline mintbuffalo Post #1  December 24,2009, 7:08am
mintbuffalo's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jan 2009

Posts: 3

See profile

I'm coming up on the end of my one year subscription to e-harmony. I have only gotten 3 men to actually get to the "open communication" stage, and only one has resulted in a face to face meeting. (and that did not end well.)
What am I doing wrong? I update my profile, have multiple pictures and try and communicate with anyone that even piques my interest.
Is it possible I'm just not made for e-harmony? This has just felt like a terrible year of rejects now. I wish they would give refunds for that!
Is there anything else I can do as a last ditch effort?
 
  Reply With Quote
Fleuellen is offline Fleuellen Post #2  December 24,2009, 7:42am
Fleuellen's Avatar

Enthusiast

Joined: Jul 2009

Posts: 785

See profile

can you tells us more ... i'm surprised at the paucity of response ... your photos show you as most delighful and happy.
 
  Reply With Quote
mintbuffalo is offline mintbuffalo Post #3  December 24,2009, 9:04am
mintbuffalo's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jan 2009

Posts: 3

See profile

Maybe I'm just getting a little punchy around Christmas...
I have initiated communication with countless matches and only gotten a handful of responses overall. Most of them lead nowhere when they stop responding. I hope I have no fatal flaws! I like to think I'm a genuine and joyful person!
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  December 24,2009, 10:17am
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

I can't add any sunshine to your life but I will give you some straight facts. This is from my experience which pretty much parallels others.

First most, about 90%, of your matches are going to be non-paying members which means they can't respond. Most non-paying members are also non-active so they will never view your profile or close the match.

I have been on eHarmony just days shy of two years. While I do get matches that communicate and I do meet a good percentage of those that get as far as Open Communication I have not found "the one" yet (thought I had but she dumped me after a couple of months). I was on for 7 1/2 months before I had the first match respond and it was 10 months before I got to the first meeting with a different match.

The most important part of using eHarmony is in your answering the Personality Profile Questionnaire. If you have not re-taken the Questionnaire since you have been on eHarmony I would recommend that you contact Customer Care and request to re-take it. All of your matches come from how you have answered the questions so you should set aside at least an hour and more like two hours so that you can go through each question and carefully consider how each one relates to you. I also suggest that you have a dictionary handy because many of the questions relate to words which are being asked based on a definition which is not the common one. As an example two questions ask about liberal and conservative, they are not asking about politics.

If you choose to retake the Questionnaire I would suggest that before you do you save all of what you have written in your profile to a text file as when you re-take the Questionnaire your current profile will be wiped clean.

FYI I seriously doubt you have a fatal flaw.
 
  Reply With Quote
mintbuffalo is offline mintbuffalo Post #5  December 24,2009, 11:54am
mintbuffalo's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jan 2009

Posts: 3

See profile

That's a lot of great advice. Thank you. I'll look into re-doing that questionnaire today.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Site Speed | Using eHarmony | Flag the non-paying until payed....simple? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Absolutely not. I have no idea why allowing gays to marry would affect anyone's lives, unless they're sexually insecure about themselves.” –  sun73

Join the “Did our President give up the election for a single issue?” discussion

“I learned that the woman's communication style has to fit mine or else it won't work.” –  sun73

Join the “Why do 40 yr olds still play games?” discussion

“Here's where to email if you think a match might be a fraud: matchconcerns@eharmony.com . Tell them the match's name and location so they can find them. If what's making you suspicious is an email ... ” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Match from another country...is he a "fraud"?” discussion

“I know you clarified you just want a general opinion on when people bring this subject up, but I'm going to give you both that and also what I believe you should do. The general idea most of the ... ” –  Herkemer

Join the “When is it time to discuss your position on having kids?” discussion

“And that's a very valid point. I get the feeling that eHarmony is keeping their price high to show they they are not cheap and therefore, their members are serious.It seems to me that combining the ... ” –  MicMan

Join the “Free Communication Weekend” discussion

“How long have you all been on EH? Thanks for the advice. I signed on in late April 2012 but have been on other dating sites in the past.” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “New Here” discussion

“The only one that bothers me is the "they weren't his kids so meh ..." But there could be a whole world of story behind that. Like "she dumped me and it was painful and I hated losing the kids in ... ” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 2:42pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0