Closing Your Matches - What Does "Other" Mean?


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daabtz is offline daabtz Post #31  December 27,2007, 6:09pm
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Since I currently have 14 open matches who have not bothered to respond to my request for communuication, I would welcome the use of the "close match" button using whatever reason they wish to use. I'm more offended by their sheer lack of caring enough to either communicate or close the match, than I am with the reason they choose to close the match. "Other" is an easy way to say this person is just not of interest to me.
 
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makeba is offline makeba Post #32  December 28,2007, 12:23am
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In response to Mighty Aphrodite, I do see your point in that you do not find it impressive when a man cannot spell correctly. I am keen on grammar myself. What I find offensive though is that you use ESL as an example. English is my second language and my grammar is more correct than many people to whom English is the only language they speak. It really bothers me when people assume that just because English is your second language or that you do not have an American accent that you are less educated, may not understand English as well as they do, or that you are seeking a greencard. I am an educated smart woman who would never seek to be with a man for any other reason other than love yet I am not American and I am not seeking to be an American. Please stop the stereotyping and prejudiced comments because they are offensive to some of us, atleast they are to me.
 
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daabtz is offline daabtz Post #33  December 28,2007, 5:02am
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I have to respect the people who go ahead and close a match instead of just ignoring the request for communication. Right now have 14 matches with whom I have initiated communication. Not one has responded to that request, by either going forward, or closing the match. I realize its the holidays, but how hard is it to close a match that you are not interested in? I'm not crazy about the choices given for closing the match. I tend to use "other" for those cases where I just don't see the match as a good fit, but I do this at the very beginning, not waiting until after open commmunication. At that stage I do feel you owe the other person some reason. By then, a personal note is the polite thing to do.
 
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luvinlife2211 is offline luvinlife2211 Post #34  December 28,2007, 11:55am
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"Other" is a decent option. eHarmony sends matches to you. You did not pick the matches you receive, so why would you feel obligated to give a complete stranger unsolicited advice? When I get "other" it is usually from women who are more attractive than me. I prefer "other" to "chemistry is not there". "Other" is less intrusive to my life than having some beauty tell me the obvious. I put my picture on my profile because if they don't like 5'8", bald, and over 200 lbs, then I don't want to waste their time and I don't want them to waste my time either. Just use "other". It simply means "I don't feel a connection".
 
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besad is offline besad Post #35  December 28,2007, 12:50pm
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I have used the "other" as a reason for closing many matches. Most of them because we never communicated in the first place. Some because I know they are mot looking for a relationship but do have alternative plans for matches (money, etc). Have been matched with way to many of them. Some of my matches choose the distance as a reason for closing a match. Can't you choose how close a match should be to you. I live an hour from many of my matches but to use that as a reason for ending a communication I'd rather see "other".
To give one open space to end some communication may be asking for hurtful words that may set back some people from persuing any other relationships. I think I'll use the "other".
 
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gakmsc is offline gakmsc Post #36  December 28,2007, 4:24pm
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To BESAD. You can choose the range distance you prefer your matches to be in, but, if eHarmony can't find matches in that area, they will resort to "flexible matching". I live in OK. I think I have my distance set at around 100-150 miles, yet today they sent me a match that lives in South Dakota. I used the distance choice to close the match. I can't afford the time or money to drive that great a distance to put any effort into a relationship. I do think that using that reason when you only live an hour away is a little far fetched.
 
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mytwocents is offline mytwocents Post #37  December 28,2007, 5:18pm
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I think eHarmony is generous enough in their reasons for closing a match. I wish they had more responses for sending a final message to those who close you out. I've discovered the following: If someone closes you for whatever reason and you respond with a final message and they change their mind (say they're pursuing a different relationship and that relationship ends), then they can reopen the communication with the press of a button. If you don't respond, they have to go through more difficult steps if they ever want to reopen communication. I would like to see final message responses that reflect possible answers to the reasons for being closed out, such as: "I wish you the best" (because if they're pursuing another relationship, they're not still searching), or "I am willing to relocate for the right relationship" (for "distance is too great"), or "How about we explore a simple friendship?" (for "I'm not ready for the next step" or "I have too much in my life at the moment.") These are just ideas.
 
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beloved0000 is offline beloved0000 Post #38  December 28,2007, 5:34pm
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I'm the "other" woman.
 
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willsucceed is offline willsucceed Post #39  December 28,2007, 7:05pm
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Max32 hit the nail on the head...NEXT! This one's not for me so move on...don't take it personally!
 
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Steve211 is offline Steve211 Post #40  December 28,2007, 9:05pm
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We wouldn't have to close out so many matches if eHarmony would use some common sense! They know from my "must haves/can't stands" that I don't like overweight women, yet they consistently send me matches for women that are clearly "big". Somewhere in joining they asked my political ideology which is very conservative, yet I get matches that are left-wing loons. They need to tweak the program a little.
 
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