Closing Your Matches - What Does "Other" Mean?


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SohoJane is offline SohoJane Post #361  January 25,2010, 5:55pm
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I would like to be able to express my "close" myself. Often I will get matches that like nature hikes, boating or camping, all of which I do not like.

I would like to express that I am not a nature lover.
 
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Trippin_Gal is offline Trippin_Gal Post #362  February 12,2010, 10:26pm
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I'd like to see either a "write your own" selection or another choice that says "Lack of information in profile".

The main reason I close matches is either the answers are vague i.e. "I'm looking for someone honest and trustworthy" (aren't we all?) or they skip the questions completely. If a person doesn't care enough to give some thought to his/her answers then why should I think he/she would give any thought to ME?

If a person has a hard time answering the questions the first time through, then he (ok, I'm only looking at guys) should go back and edit until it really gives some information him. Look at others profiles or read the profile advice. Meeting the right person takes some work. If all you want is a piece of ass, there is always Tagged or Plenty of Fish.

A vague profile also says to me "I'll be whatever you want me to be" and that is WAY too needy for me.
 
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mustangace is offline mustangace Post #363  March 30,2010, 6:25pm
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LifeIsGreat@40 wrote :
I was closed by the "other" option by a guy whom I was in Open Communication. We had been seeing each other for three weeks, I told him I hoped he was not trying to impress me by sharing with me all the "things" he had given women in his previous relationships. He apparently got angry, but did not address the matter, instead he did not answer my calls for three days. When I realized we had not spoken for three days the thought came to me that perhaps he was upset from our last conversation. I left him another message asking if he was okay, first, then I asked if he was upset from our conversation, then I told him if I did not hear from him by the next day I would not call him again. Well, that night he went onto eHarmony and closed out comm. -- "other", we were no longer using the tool to communicate. I was shocked, I felt he was a coward, he lacked communication skills, and I had probably hit the nail on the head about him trying to impress me with material things -- good riddance.

You gave him plenty of chances to communicate with you. Had he cared more about you than himself, he would have responded to you. He could have told you if his feelings had been hurt - that would be at least something to offer you. Had you continued into a full blown relationship with this person, the communication, when things weren't so happy, would only come from you. Nothing can ever be resolved if only one person is willing to share their feelings and thoughts. Not sharing of one's feelings is a play for power and control.

You are exactly correct - "good riddance." There is a very good person out there for you, who can share his thoughts with you so you BOTH can have a successful relationship together. All you need do is find this person.
 
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EagleheartRob is offline EagleheartRob Post #364  April 10,2010, 5:13pm
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I know that when I post to woman, I keep it simple and to the point without being intrusive or judgemental, however I am shorter then most woman on EHarmoney, now do not get me wrong there are woman shorter then I am; but woman either want a man to be much taller or a bit taller not shorter.
But why is it that it is ok for a tall man to go with a short woman and yet woman feel the need that high heels have to be worn to feel like a woman? high heals help if your with a taller man, but yet some woman are too shallow to go with a man the same hieght or shorter.
Has any woman out there ever thought about the fact of men loving taller woman like woman do men? I know this sound weird but the road does go both ways and just because a man is sorter doesn't mean that he is any less able to love or feel!. I hope that everyone can appreciate things from this perspective
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #365  April 10,2010, 6:06pm
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EagleheartRob wrote :
But why is it that it is ok for a tall man to go with a short woman and yet woman feel the need that high heels have to be worn to feel like a woman? high heals help if your with a taller man, but yet some woman are too shallow to go with a man the same hieght or shorter.
Plus, they complain about the heels being uncomfortable as if someone forced them to wear those shoes. Go figure.
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #366  April 10,2010, 6:45pm
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EagleheartRob -- Your post is off-topic in this (very old) thread, which is concerned with the "other" option when closing a match. There are other threads, though, that deal with the "height and heels" issue, or you can start a new one if you wish.
 
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MicMan is offline MicMan Post #367  April 11,2010, 11:53am
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neardc wrote :
EagleheartRob -- Your post is off-topic in this (very old) thread, which is concerned with the "other" option when closing a match. There are other threads, though, that deal with the "height and heels" issue, or you can start a new one if you wish.
I know you're no longer a VCL, but why does he get dinged on something off topic but when some of the regulars that post their (sometimes pages of) non sequitors and jack threads get no admonishment in threads?
 
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melman is offline melman Post #368  April 11,2010, 1:35pm
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Maybe because Eagleheart Rob will listen to reason. We know that the hyper-posters are immune from being corrected. Right?
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #369  April 11,2010, 6:30pm
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MicMan wrote :
I know you're no longer a VCL, but why does he get dinged on something off topic but when some of the regulars that post their (sometimes pages of) non sequitors and jack threads get no admonishment in threads?
It wasn't intended as a "ding," but as a suggestion for a better strategy for getting responses to his question (i.e., given that his question and the thread topic/title are pretty unrelated...).

When I was a VCL, I did post plenty of "get back on topic" posts...lol (and closed threads and deleted posts). Of course, I only did that in threads that I actually reviewed, but there were many "admonishments" that targeted long-time posters...

This is an issue for discussion in the Talk to Your Community Team group instead of this thread, though, so you might want to bring it up there (Melman -- I know that you have done so in the past, so it's not a new issue...).
 
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CaramelsYummy is offline CaramelsYummy Post #370  April 11,2010, 7:32pm
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eharmonyadvice wrote :
You've just been closed by a match, and their reason is "other". What does that mean, and why is it anoption? Wouldn't it be better to give matches the opportunity to write whatever they want?
I don't like the "Other" option, but I don't think a match should have the opportunity to write whatever they want in the closing message, either. It is guided communication after all. There are enough neutral, non-offensive reasons provided to get the mesage across. And matches have the opportunity to ask the questions they want in that guided process. "Other" is bad enough. It doesn't bother me particularly. Closing the match is their choice. I have the same option should I choose to exercise it.
 
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