Closing Your Matches - What Does "Other" Mean?


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calmlake is offline calmlake Post #311  May 1,2009, 7:58pm
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I agree with many of you that "other" is too vagueand doesn'thelp the person who's being closed out understand the reason for the decision,but many of the other options aren't viable either.


I also wonder, if the difference in age is too great, then why does the person include your age in their settings, and likewise with the physical distance?


And finally,if the idea is to allow us to close someone out in a way that minimizes the feeling of rejection, then whyinclude theoption "I prefer not to say"? In that situation, the "other" option seems more tactful.
 
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Bengal is offline Bengal Post #312  May 2,2009, 12:52pm
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Other - It is quite obvious to me that they are not interested in my religion - Nichiren Buddhist - or my commitment to the outdoors, or my facial hair. I make it clear in my profile that I'm well off and then some; the ladies will search for another fin. sec. man with more traditional, God-fearing values, are clean shaven and enjoy cuddling on the couch, not huddling beneath a tarp in an icy rain.....
 
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MommaMia51 is offline MommaMia51 Post #313  May 10,2009, 7:02pm
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After two weeks oneharmony, I had only received 5 matches. I went back and tweaked the importance of what I was looking for and received some very good matches. Only one closed using "other". I, on the other hand have closed several using "other". This is not a game for me. If a man can not respond after my attempt at communication or viewing my profile, I conclude he's not interested and close using "other". Believe it or not, some people date outside of their race. Using "other" is another may of saying you are a great guy or woman, but "I'm not into you".
 
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MsNie is offline MsNie Post #314  May 10,2009, 7:06pm
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I must say that these post are not helping. I think I want a refund...I could have the same results from meeting people in the supermarket...library...and the theater. Ugghhhh!
 
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guffaws is offline guffaws Post #315  May 11,2009, 9:07pm
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trophycaribou,47800 wrote :

Overall, eHarmony has a very good online dating/relationship service, but these pre-manufactured for Closing Your Matches is not one of ther reasons why it is good. The "other" option is very cold and extremely insensitive. Not to mention, it is NOT honest either. Nothing like ending meeting someone with a lie, right?? How ironic is it, when eHarmony stresses being honest, taking the time to learn about each match, and communicate each match then turns right around with ending a relationship by a pre-made list of quick and easy ways to slam the door in someone's face??? There are some of the pre-listed reasons that are true and hold value, but overall they are too politically correct and it makes it too personally convient for people just to "get out of this" quick and/or play games. I realize there are both pros and cons to having an option where you can type your own reasons to the person you met and why you want to close communication with them. One of the pros would be if a person was saying or doing something that turned a match away from him/her it would be an opportunity for the person closing the relationship to let the other person know what he/she did wrong so they can learn, improve and not do it again. Overall, I do believe eHarmony can and should do a better job with it's pre-made list of options to close a match and getting rid of the very vague "other" one would be a great place to start.
``I totally agree with trophycaribou. What e-harmony should offer, I think is when you click on "other" is to have a 2nd list of choices of why you are closing out the match, whether it's their height, grammar, lied on profile, etc. Have e-harmony make up the list so it won't be open and then the matches can't leave cruel comments and at least then you'll know why the other person is closing the match. (So, hopefully you yourself can make necessary changes, if you choose to or not!) One other thing that really bothers me is when I filled out my profile, I put down that I wasn't interested in anyone shorter than myself, i'm 5'9 and I got 6-7 matches 5'7 and under. Why does e-harmony make mistakes like that?
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Renee is offline eH_Advice_Host_Renee Post #316  May 12,2009, 12:35pm

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Dear guffaws and Everyone,


As Kate shared in her 04/08/09 post, it’s not possible to provide a comprehensive list of reasons for closing, and "Other" is provided as a default. However, if you would like to share your ideas with our Development team, they would love to hear from you. You can e-mail your suggestions/input to our Customer Care team from the Help link located at the bottom of all our Singles site pages or by clicking here: http://help-singles.eharmony.com/. Once your e-mail is successfully sent, you will receive a confirmation number, and your e-mail will be forwarded to our Development team for their consideration when making future changes to our site.


Though the topic of height has been discussed on other threads, I will be glad to share the information we've posted there. While we do take into consideration the importance and value you place on height by considering it in combination with many other factors, we do not match strictly on height. That is why you were not provided the option to set your height range preference.
The reason we do not match strictly on height is because it hasn't been shown to impact long-term marital happiness. Because broad-based compatibility is rare between two people, we want you to meet every eHarmony member who matches you in the areas that are important to a successful, long-term relationship.


After we match you these members, your part of the partnership is to decide if a match meets other qualities you are seeking. While we encourage members to be open-minded and communicate with most, if not all of their matches, if you decide you don't like a certain match for whatever reason, our communication process allows you to close the match -- allowing you to focus your time and energies on matches of interest.


Thanks to everyone for your participation on this thread, and I wish you all the best in your search.


-Renee
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stevenvictx is offline stevenvictx Post #317  May 12,2009, 2:51pm
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Sad to say ,and mean, but probably


They think your:


A. Ugly


B. Fat


C. They think you dont make enough money ( just read a lot of the women's posts here)


D. They are looking for just a roll in the hay, and your not up to their 'roll in the hay' standards.





There are a lot of people on here who have a certain list of things they are looking for, and refuse to bend in any way. No matter if you a the best person on earth in all other areas.


If you fall into one of these 'lists' they think using 'other' is a easy way out. Something they can use without harming their ego.
 
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houston_lori is offline houston_lori Post #318  May 12,2009, 7:27pm
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Teee,593548 wrote :

maybe it is just my own insecurities, but any time i see "other" i think ugly. that person just did not particularly like my picture or the way i look
Aw, sweetie, we're in the same boat. I'm beautiful, but overweight, and I think "other" is a nice way of saying "she's too fat for me." Now... I don't think I'm insecure. I AM fat. But I'm a hell of a woman, and there's a man out there for me.


And by the way, I bet you're not ugly at all. So stop that negative self talk! :-)
 
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pamelapmt is offline pamelapmt Post #319  May 12,2009, 8:06pm
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I just check "other" because it is the closest to the bottom of the page where it says close match and it is the fastest and easiest one to pick. When I see a match I do not feel is right for me, I just want to close it immediately with no fuss and continue on to the next match. Everyone has their likes/dislikes and "other" just makes it easiest. I am 5'9 and will not date anyone shorter than 6'0, so if I get a match who is under 6 feet I just close it and check "other". There is not a box for too short... so what else do we put?? Who cares, if the person closed the match they are obviously not that interested so just move on to the next one, and the reason for closing should not even matter!
 
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NathanCM is offline NathanCM Post #320  May 12,2009, 8:16pm
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curiouscat,598907 wrote :

Laziness, pure and simple. It's the choice closest to the close button.
this
 
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