I strongly disagree with eHarmony's rationale for disallowing free-form close messages in favor of "other". First, while it doesn't matter why any singular person decides to close you out, it *does* matter in aggregate. For example, consider the situation that CP30 mentioned: perhaps matches tend to react to one of your favorite short-answer questions as being "too personal". If one person reacts that way, that's insignificant. But if a string of people react negatively, then that *is* significant, and that's information that you probably would want to know. (Really, think about it: if some behavior of yours was a significant turn-off to a non-trivial number of the opposite sex, wouldn't you want to know what that behavior is?)

Second, empirical evidence doesn't back up eHarmony's position that allowing free-form text would invite insults. I am a longtime subscriber to another service (I won't say which one, but it rhymes with "catch") that does not use a structured communication system; all messages are free-form. In the entire time I have been using the service, plenty of my initial emails have been ignored, but I've never once received a rude reply. I find it difficult to believe that eHarmony's user base would be that much more immature.

Third, and lastly, there's a very simple technological way to address this situation: create a preference to allow each subscriber to choose whether matches have a free-form text option during the closeout process. Make the default "no". If the subscriber attempts to change it to "yes", then show them the explanation of why eHarmony recommends leaving it at "no", and force them to click a "I understand that if I allow my matches to compose a free-form explanation during the closeout process, I may receive explanations that are hurtful and/or rude" checkbox to change it to "yes". That way, if you are closing a match out, and see a free-form text option, and none of the canned reasons adequately explains why you decided to close the match, you'll know that the person would prefer that you write your own explanation instead of selecting "other".