Closing Your Matches - What Does "Other" Mean?


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ILoveClassicRockMusic is offline ILoveClassicRockMusic Post #241  September 7,2008, 1:52pm
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Personally, I use the other response to close matches that for example, say that they are 40, but thier picture looks like they are 60 or 18. also, I appreciate that response from others closing a match with me WAY more than "I don't feel the chemistry is there", which seems to me to be an obvious indictment of a person's looks. I feel it a bit harsh for someone to say who has never even emailoed a person, much less spoken to or met them. "Other" is generic, non-confrontational, and doesn't bite as hard as some other responses might.
These initial communications, whenther they express interest or the opposite should be fairly gentle so as not to dishearten people and tempt them to quit trying to find someone. After all, everyone's idea of surface beauty (and interior beauty as well) is different. Being too harsh may cause a person to abandon their hope and their attempt to find love. That kind of hope killing move is too harsh and may keep more than one person from finding happiness. "Other" is much easier to swallow and still keep your chin up and your hope alive.
 
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danceout is offline danceout Post #242  September 7,2008, 3:24pm
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I use "other" because eharmony does not offer the choices that most closely match what the actual reason was, like; you can't spell, you didn't care enough to fill out the whole profile, you don't have a photo. I think that info. might be helpful to eharmony to improve their services, but they don't seem to want to know that. I think the closing choices are inadequate.
 
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coloradowinston is offline coloradowinston Post #243  September 8,2008, 12:37am

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Other is selected 99.9% of the time for the following: 1) You are not an attorney or doctor. 2)Based on your photos, you are overweight and unattractive.
 
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HRHalderman is offline HRHalderman Post #244  September 8,2008, 6:35am
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NoBoomer9,52992 wrote :

What we really want to say is...


"Other" -- It is a good thing there is no write in here, I would likely overstate my case and be unduly hurtful.


"Physical distance is too great" -- You do nor appear to be worth the trip.


"Based on statements in profile" -- You have failed to fill out more than half of your profile (and likely do not have a picture posted).


"This match never responded to my request to communicate" -- How can this happen? What went wrong with the 327 point preselection?


"I think the difference in our values is too great" -- I think Your grammar and spell checker are broken.


"I would rather not say" -- We so need a write in reply here!
I disagree with your "Physical Distacne is too great" analysis. I did a LD relationship, and it was a diffilcult to say the least. I don't know that I would paint it with quite a broad brush, although I'm ready to go into OC with somebody who lives 60 miles +. I'm not sure it has to do with a person's "worth."
 
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DoinNada is offline DoinNada Post #245  September 8,2008, 9:17am
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LD's do work but we as a society are too much about the here and now and are not willing to work through the LD till such time as we can be together.


As for the original topic, I think I'veonly used "Other" once though I've lost count of the number of times I've received it. I really trhink "Other" has come to mean either "I'm not attracted" or "I'm not interested". The ability to write a reason I think would just lead to additional hurt feelings.
 
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jamesp81 is offline jamesp81 Post #246  September 8,2008, 9:58am
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Other is what women use when closing me because they don't want to say "You're overweight", "You're hobbies are weird", or "You're unattractive." Personally, I'd rather have the truth.
 
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MattInWI is offline MattInWI Post #247  September 8,2008, 10:35am
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Not sure why people get so worked up about the "other" selection. When it really comes down to it all the choices basically mean the same thing anyway..."I'm not interested enough in YOU to continue/start communication".
 
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lifeztooshrt is offline lifeztooshrt Post #248  September 8,2008, 2:56pm
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I have been closed by 16 people today! Is that a new record??? Probably a third were "other" - you just can't take it personally - for whatever reason that person (or 16 in my case) did not want to communicate further! [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-laughing.gif[/img]
 
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Carliee is offline Carliee Post #249  September 13,2008, 12:32pm
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BILLGOLF,47725 wrote :

I, like many others, wish there was a place for written comments to close. HOWEVER, after reading this article and prior comments to it I agree this is pretty good as is. I keep getting matches that are over 100 miles away, so it is easy to close with distance reason. I have had a few close me for "NO CHEMISTRY", gee, I recognize I sure don't have universal sex appeal so it doesn't bother me. I will not use that one, there are less hurtful, honest ones to use.
The no chemistry one might as well say "I don't like your picture." How can you know about chemistry until you meet in person.


The too far away one seems weird to me, too. If you don't want matches from across the country, why not limit your search to places that are close enough.


As for other, there are times to use it, but once you've hit open communication, it's just rude. If you're in OC or communicating outside of EH, you should discuss it with the other person and give them a real reason.
 
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Carliee is offline Carliee Post #250  September 13,2008, 12:37pm
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They should add "you seem like a scammer." heehee :P
 
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