Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Using eHarmony If you have questions or comments about eHarmony's matching process, post it here. Or, lend your guidance and support to a fellow eHarmony member.

Reply
Page 2 of 37 1 2 3 4 12 Last »
 
LinkBack (1) Thread Tools
Spider Spider is online now
Spider's Avatar

Spider is not ready to shovel the white stuff

Veteran

Join Date: Nov 2007

Posts: 1,284

See profile

Ideally, if the matching is done as promised, there would be no need for the "our values don't match" reason. I was under the impression that matching values was one of the major selling points for the eHarmony service. I'm also puzzled by the "family backgrounds are too different" - I don't recall being asked about my family background in the questionnaire nor a spot to put that information on the profile. How would we know that information about a match?
- December 25th, 2007, 09:52 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#11   Reply With Quote
travelfiend travelfiend is offline
travelfiend's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Dec 2007

Posts: 1

See profile

Candidly, I understand why you would want not want people to write in answers as it would be quite difficult to moderate. That said, I think the other option is a weak way to not let the individual know why you did not choose them. I personally think the list should be broadened to include more reasons and just do away with the other category entirely. For example, if you added a column for misspellings the user could now modify their profile to not continue making the same mistakes. My two cents.
- December 25th, 2007, 10:02 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#12   Reply With Quote
happytobeme happytobeme is offline
happytobeme's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Dec 2007

Posts: 5

See profile

"Other" is the kiss of death. At least with some of the more direct reasons you can send a final message that could get you a second chance. Or am I just not getting it? I'm new at this.
- December 25th, 2007, 10:03 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#13   Reply With Quote
Znayesh Znayesh is offline
Znayesh's Avatar

Znayesh memory travel-cheaper than a vaca

Quick Study

Join Date: Dec 2007

Posts: 166

See profile

What's the point in putting a lot of thought into why someone closed a match? There have been matches I thought were good potentials, but then they closed me for one reason or another. I've always said 'ah well' because there must be some reason I'm not aware of and it's good to have reached that conclusion earlier rather than later. The process with eHarmony is an interesting one because there are so many potential matches in a short period of time. The initial 'screening' process can be very subjective - comparison against other matches received that day, the mood of the particular moment, comparison against a bad date who had a similar profile as yours, almost anything. If someone closes me, it may be an opportunity lost, but it's like gambling with winnings and maintaining your initial investment. Retain your value. Someone making a snap judgment should have no impact on your own personal value. But nothing ventured, nothing gained. Enjoy! Have fun.
- December 25th, 2007, 10:17 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#14   Reply With Quote
happytobeme happytobeme is offline
happytobeme's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Dec 2007

Posts: 5

See profile

"Other" is the kiss of death. With the more direct options one can at least address the objection as final reply, giving you a second chance to adress someone you realy want to hear from.
I am new at this so am I wrong?
I tried to reply once already on this site but think I somehow was lost. I would like any advice.
- December 25th, 2007, 10:32 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#15   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

sheriff523 sheriff523 is offline
sheriff523's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Dec 2007

Posts: 1

See profile

I have been using the "closed" statements from my matches as feedback as to what I may need to change. Yes, the option "other" is a viable option but it is a very vague one. I would like to make sure that is not something simple in my profile or what I write that is not driving some women to place "other" on the closed sheet.
- December 25th, 2007, 12:57 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#16   Reply With Quote
dlzman2 dlzman2 is offline
dlzman2's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Dec 2007

Posts: 1

See profile

Truthfully, I feel it is all PC, and nothing else. When it comes to myself, I learn from everything in my life. I doesn't have to be good, it could be the rudest most daming comment ever, I will learn from it and move on. Sure my feelings get hurt, but that is life. I expect to get hurt. You ask 10 girls out 8 out of 10 will reject you. This is part of life, no one said life was easy. I want people to be as brutally honest with me as possible. I don't like the "white lie" to "protect" the other's feeling. The only way I am going to grow and become a better person is to take the good with the bad and to put it all in to context. I would like to see a fill in the blank, it doesn't have to be long, just a short 1 or 2 line to make me understand. Otherwise, other fits in with the same old line I get many times, I just want to be friends, you are like a brother to me, which is the biggest cop out/ lie I ever heard.
- December 25th, 2007, 04:48 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#17   Reply With Quote
trophycaribou trophycaribou is offline
trophycaribou's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Dec 2007

Posts: 1

See profile

Overall, eHarmony has a very good online dating/relationship service, but these pre-manufactured for Closing Your Matches is not one of ther reasons why it is good. The "other" option is very cold and extremely insensitive. Not to mention, it is NOT honest either. Nothing like ending meeting someone with a lie, right??

How ironic is it, when eHarmony stresses being honest, taking the time to learn about each match, and communicate each match then turns right around with ending a relationship by a pre-made list of quick and easy ways to slam the door in someone's face???
There are some of the pre-listed reasons that are true and hold value, but overall they are too politically correct and it makes it too personally convient for people just to "get out of this" quick and/or play games.
I realize there are both pros and cons to having an option where you can type your own reasons to the person you met and why you want to close communication with them. One of the pros would be if a person was saying or doing something that turned a match away from him/her it would be an opportunity for the person closing the relationship to let the other person know what he/she did wrong so they can learn, improve and not do it again.

Overall, I do believe eHarmony can and should do a better job with it's pre-made list of options to close a match and getting rid of the very vague "other" one would be a great place to start.
- December 25th, 2007, 05:15 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#18   Reply With Quote
ls92101 ls92101 is offline
ls92101's Avatar

ls92101 is happy.

Newbie

Join Date: Dec 2007

Posts: 13

See profile

I like the "Other" option but use it infrequently. The biggest reason to use it is if your not smarter than a 5th grader. I would rather not tell them directly that they cant write because then they will have someone else write it and then who are you really attracted to?

Another reason is pets and kids. Like most people I like both but I am not willing to accept a herd of either. It would seem unnecessary to tell someone this since its just my opinion/preference. I am sure they are not very likely to get rid of either just to make room in thier lives even for a great guy like me.

- December 25th, 2007, 06:14 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#19   Reply With Quote
springflowers springflowers is offline
springflowers's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Dec 2007

Posts: 1

See profile

You might as well remove the "other" from the choices. The other choices are enough to make the point that the person is no longer interested in you. Most of the time I feel that it all comes down to looking at your photo and deciding that you are not good looking enough for them to want to keep you on their list.
- December 25th, 2007, 06:36 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#20   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply
Page 2 of 37 1 2 3 4 12 Last »

Bookmarks

« Should I list my hobby on my eharmony profile? | Array | 5 Suggestions on Posting Your Photo (A guys perspective) »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

LinkBacks (?)
LinkBack to this Thread: http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/dating-advice/using-eharmony/331-closing-your-matches-what-does-other-mean.html
Posted By For Type Date
Closing Your Matches - What Does "Other" Mean? - Page 15 - Dating & Relationship Discussion Boards - eHarmony Advice This thread Refback July 28th, 2009 05:46 pm

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“ Ummm....fireworks ! ” – tweet37

Join the “Monday, February 8th weekend and date roundup!” discussion

“ That dating isn't as much fun as it sounds. Trixie Dear....your entire post brings a tear. How tragic and unexpected. ” – Dugl

Join the “What lessons have you learned from online dating?” discussion

“Went on a date last night to a restaurant near my house... bill came, date looked at me, showed me the bill and said, "man, you sure are a cheap date!" To be fair... it was happy hour and I don't ... ” – MelinCali

Join the “That WAS a compliment... I think?!” discussion

“ Oh good God, not this old gem, again. Wanting to be attracted to someone you're with isn't shallow. Period.” – hankscorpio

Join the “New pics and not attracted” discussion

“poor analogy you arent the first one that tried to "talk me out of' my position and you wont be the last i'm sure I'm starting to get the picture on why your attitude seems to be the way it ... ” – hankscorpio

Join the “Who Makes The 1st Move” discussion

“ Quoted for truth.” – hankscorpio

Join the “Doesn't want to work, doesn't want sex, drinks” discussion

“*high five*” – tweet37

Join the “Random joke... Passed on by my MOTHER, of all people!” discussion

“I removed all of the personal back-and forths which diverting attention away from the OP's topic/questions. Assuming the thread can continue and stay on track, it can stay open. Thanks in ... ” – eHA_Admin_Lori

Join the “Getting Over My Girlfriend's Past Lovers?” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:54 pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2010, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0