Here's a suggestion... Things You May Want To Consider Rephrasing


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Kinjia is offline Kinjia Post #1  November 18,2009, 8:49pm
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if you believe you are up to the challenge and are interested in potentially getting to know each other better please drop me a line. one more thing that's important. i keep myself in pretty good shape.

Response from me: Close.

I understand that guys aren't typically into the business of softness and wordy contemplation. But dude. I wouldn't BE here if I weren't "up to the challenge." Putting it out there like you're conducting a pre-game pep talk - and I'm just guessing here - may not be effective when you're looking for a woman.

What you might want to consider in rephrasing a hardline kind of blurb is that putting it as an invitation will be far more appealing to the women. Then again, maybe I'm just speaking for myself.
 
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Kinjia is offline Kinjia Post #2  November 18,2009, 9:02pm
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Ultimatum-ish. That's it.

Don't slam a brick wall in your matches' faces that smacks of an ultimatum!
 
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melman is offline melman Post #3  November 18,2009, 9:22pm
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Women write this kind of stuff too.
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #4  November 18,2009, 9:31pm
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And I thought that you were going to bash the part about being in good shape. That was far more odd to me.

I agree with Melman. That is pretty common in female profiles is an attempt at humor? Or just a way to bring the profile to a close.

I never took it badly coming from a woman.

It does sound slightly different coming from a man. I won't analyze it from that angle. I can't spend my time trying to figure out men.
 
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gonefishing68 is offline gonefishing68 Post #5  November 19,2009, 2:44am
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[quote=bigfincat;801965]And I thought that you were going to bash the part about being in good shape. That was far more odd to me. quote]

That was what struck me as odd too. As for the rest of the message I can understand it coming across as a bit patronising but then again a lot of people are awkward/uncomfortable with the whole online dating business and therefore perhaps end up not phrasing things as well as they would have liked.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #6  November 19,2009, 3:09am
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Honestly I take that kind of stuff with a grain of salt and realize that most people absolutely cannot write well and cannot convey their thoughts clearly. Also, most attempts at written humor will likely turn out to be an offensive disaster. So a line like this would not cause me to close the profile and it's not something that I find particularly offensive or even worthy of note, unless the rest of the profile is one huge problem. I would not close a guy out for that.
 
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