Do you think your matches are compatible?


View Poll Results: Do you think your matches are compatible?
I Think My Matches Are Compatible 5 19.23%
I Don't Think My Matches Are Compatible 16 61.54%
I'm Not Sure 5 19.23%
Voters: 26. You may not vote on this poll

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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #1  November 15,2009, 11:08am

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Hi Everyone,

You know that it’s our hope at eHarmony to send you as many compatible matches as possible so that among them, you’ll find the ultimate compatible match.

So I wanted to start a poll to see if you felt like your matches tend to be compatible with you? Why or why not?

I’m looking forward to reading your input!

Thank you,

~Kate
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Laughingdaily is offline Laughingdaily Post #2  November 15,2009, 11:43am
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I am going to assume you are asking seriously about potential matches. For the most part no. Most are not even close to my type.

There should be a little more input on some filters here, that may help. And shut off that "flexible match" game. It wastes so much space in the inbox.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #3  November 15,2009, 12:05pm

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Thanks, Laughingdaily –

I am talking about seriously potential matches. Thanks for your ideas. When you say filter, are you saying that you would like more qualifiers/settings to modify what kind of matches you get? If so, what are some filters you’d like to have implemented?

Regarding Flexible Matching, thanks for the feedback. Just wanted to make sure that you do know, you can prevent Flexible Matches. You do so by selecting “Very Important” on the sliding bar underneath each match setting on the My Settings page (of course you have to save changes to ensure that these stick). According to the way we measure compatibility, the “flexibility” of a match isn’t affected. But it sounds like in your opinion it does alter compatibility?

Sincerely,

~Kate
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Laughingdaily is offline Laughingdaily Post #4  November 15,2009, 12:14pm
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate wrote :
Thanks, Laughingdaily –

I am talking about seriously potential matches. Thanks for your ideas. When you say filter, are you saying that you would like more qualifiers/settings to modify what kind of matches you get? If so, what are some filters you’d like to have implemented?

Regarding Flexible Matching, thanks for the feedback. Just wanted to make sure that you do know, you can prevent Flexible Matches. You do so by selecting “Very Important” on the sliding bar underneath each match setting on the My Settings page (of course you have to save changes to ensure that these stick). According to the way we measure compatibility, the “flexibility” of a match isn’t affected. But it sounds like in your opinion it does alter compatibility?

Sincerely,

~Kate
eHarmony Advice Host

Maybe you can explain a little more in detail about which settings to adjust and how that may change matching.

I have tinkered with those settings and saved each after resetting. This seems to go too far one way or the other, and I either get flooded with obvious bad ones, or get nothing but flex matches from h**l.

I will be happy to expand on the problems with my matches after I try to put things in some order to post here for you to read and maybe you will have some suggestions.

First please try to help with the settings at your convenience. Thank you.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #5  November 15,2009, 12:30pm

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Thanks for the quick response, Laughingdaily.

So let me see if I can clarify…

Flexible Matches are allowed through every match setting on your My Settings page where you have selected an importance level on the sliding scale beneath a given setting to a 5 or below.

For example, if you have selected a 60 mile radius, but then below that radius setting on the Distance tab there is a 5 or below level of importance selected for “How Important is this to you?”, the system may send Flexible matches in the area of distance. Let’s say, however, that you had selected a 6 or 7 on the match settings for age range. In this case, the system will not provide any match for you outside the age range recorded in your settings.

You can raise any match setting level of importance to a 6 or 7, save changes, and once the change is saved, the system will stop matching you with flexible matches in the matching category that you changed.
This is only true of “quantitative” match settings – it doesn’t apply to settings such as “are you open to having or adopting children?”, because that is a yes, no, or maybe question.

Let me know if I can clarify further. I’d be interested to hear more about the matches that you feel are very wrong (and why).

~Kate
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Laughingdaily is offline Laughingdaily Post #6  November 15,2009, 12:48pm
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate wrote :
Thanks for the quick response, Laughingdaily.

So let me see if I can clarify…

Flexible Matches are allowed through every match setting on your My Settings page where you have selected an importance level on the sliding scale beneath a given setting to a 5 or below.

For example, if you have selected a 60 mile radius, but then below that radius setting on the Distance tab there is a 5 or below level of importance selected for “How Important is this to you?”, the system may send Flexible matches in the area of distance. Let’s say, however, that you had selected a 6 or 7 on the match settings for age range. In this case, the system will not provide any match for you outside the age range recorded in your settings.

You can raise any match setting level of importance to a 6 or 7, save changes, and once the change is saved, the system will stop matching you with flexible matches in the matching category that you changed.
This is only true of “quantitative” match settings – it doesn’t apply to settings such as “are you open to having or adopting children?”, because that is a yes, no, or maybe question.

Let me know if I can clarify further. I’d be interested to hear more about the matches that you feel are very wrong (and why).

~Kate
eHarmony Advice Host
Thank you Kate. So 5 is the dividing line on the importance scale, ok.

Along those same lines there seems to be a significant number of matches who have clearly stated their religious needs in a partner. That meaning they are NOT open to anyone outside their chosen religion.

I am open to most any so long as mine is given equal respect. I am a very open minded person and do not judge people, rather try to accept them for who they are.

How can I filter out those who are not as open minded as I am and not have to waste so much time closing them out as they are clearly not a match. And I am sure those matches may be wandering the same thing. Any help on this one?? I have more things as well, but I will just go along with one at a time. Thank you.
 
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Kinjia is offline Kinjia Post #7  November 15,2009, 2:07pm
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Kate, I'm not sure how one can know how a match would be compatible based on a profile?

A great portion of my matches give absolutely no indication whether they'd be compatible or not. One-word responses to the profile questions are useless. I'd say that's about 9 or more out of every 10 profiles I have received, and in a month, I might have received about 75 matches. In fact, if I recall, out of that amount, I can think of THREE matches who indicated that they were capable or had intentions of pursuing matches at this site.
 
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MicMan is online now MicMan Post #8  November 15,2009, 3:35pm
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I get some matches where I can totally see how we got matched up. On the other hand, I get plenty of matches where nothing seems to jump out as to why we got matched up. I also get plenty where I can't begin to tell because their profiles are not even close to being complete.
 
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Diann1950 is offline Diann1950 Post #9  November 15,2009, 4:01pm
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My most recent match is the best so far. I almost didn't start communication with him due to a height difference, but within the first 10 minutes of meeting him I was laughing and having a great time and it has only gotten better. Right now things are so good it is like a clone of the commercial, where it goes from here I don't know, but I am sure enjoying the ride. My other matches were absolutely incompatible and not anything either of us wanted to pursue.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #10  November 15,2009, 4:09pm

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i voted no.

personally though, I just think that EH attracts more conservative types and that's why i get very few matches and the ones i do get do not seem very compatible.

the two men i actually met were not compatible at all- almost the complete opposite of what i'm attracted to.
 
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