Can_u_hear_me_now is offline Can_u_hear_me_now Post #1  November 8,2009, 2:43pm
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I have a question for the group. Given that it's a pretty universal understanding that no communication is actually still communication (I don't happen to agree...), when is it appropriate to nudge a match? The only time I can see it not being a bad move is when you're already in OC. Most other times, I would imagine the advice would lean towards, "don't do it, if he/she hasn't gotten back to you by now, move on..." If that's the case, why have the "feature" at all? Has anyone actually ever nudged a match back into communication after things went dark for a time?
 
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melman is offline melman Post #2  November 8,2009, 3:04pm
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I just wrote in another thread that on more than one occasion, there was some apparent confusion about whose turn it was to go, at the start of stage 3 (the open ended questions). I have used a Nudge there successfully. At the start of OC might be another valid time to try it. But definitely not after OC has started, I agree.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #3  November 9,2009, 6:29am
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As melman says there does seem to be some confusion that you have to take turns. There is also a possibility that someone may reach Second Questions and may read whatever preceded their next step but not have time to either answer your questions or write their questions or start OC and then forget that they needed to do that.

Once you have gotten into OC you no longer have the Nudge feature.

I do not see anything wrong with nudging someone. I use it all the time, mostly at the beginning of a FCW to nudge all my matches that have never responded to my First Questions.
 
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joeyjoe is offline joeyjoe Post #4  November 9,2009, 2:29pm
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In my humble opinion, if you have to nudge, then she, he, it ain't that interested in you and you should just close them out. 'Nuff said.
 
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gonefishing68 is offline gonefishing68 Post #5  November 10,2009, 7:56am
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I've never had a match respond to a nudge irrespective of how long its been and I've never received a nudge. As I posted elsewhere, I don't think you can badger someone into noticing you and even if they then do, its hardly going to result in the the kind of relationship you're hoping for.
 
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CapnCrunch23 is offline CapnCrunch23 Post #6  November 10,2009, 8:21am

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Sure.. I've used a nudge after a certain about of time passed. However I did not use the system nudge. I would follow up with an email to that match.
 
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FirstStepMan is offline FirstStepMan Post #7  November 10,2009, 1:02pm
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I avoid the nudges in the initial stages. If they dont have time or are busy with something or someone, there is no time or interest in me.

After open communications and we are emailing and/or talking on the phone use your best judgment to determine if it going in the right direction or if there is interest at all in continuing.
 
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PieFace is offline PieFace Post #8  November 10,2009, 2:48pm
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I'm new to eHarmony and it's getting the best of me. Just getting back into wanting to date after 5 yrs and boy.... it's no fun. Nudge don't nudge, secure call.. yes.. don't call. I think I'll try eHarmony until christmas and then it's over
 
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CapnCrunch23 is offline CapnCrunch23 Post #9  November 10,2009, 3:00pm

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PieFace wrote :
I'm new to eHarmony and it's getting the best of me. Just getting back into wanting to date after 5 yrs and boy.... it's no fun. Nudge don't nudge, secure call.. yes.. don't call. I think I'll try eHarmony until christmas and then it's over
PieFace... Don't get discouraged.. It's not as hard as it seems. I agree with you in the beginning it can be a little overwhelming

This board is a great tool to learn how to avoid letting the e-dating processes get the best of you.. There are a lot of useful tips in the using e-harmony forum as well as other tips and advice in the other forums..

Welcome to the boards and hang in there it will get
easier.
 
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PieFace is offline PieFace Post #10  November 10,2009, 3:29pm
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CaptCrunch23 wrote :
PieFace... Don't get discouraged.. It's not as hard as it seems. I agree with you in the beginning it can be a little overwhelming

This board is a great tool to learn how to avoid letting the e-dating processes get the best of you.. There are a lot of useful tips in the using e-harmony forum as well as other tips and advice in the other forums..

Welcome to the boards and hang in there it will get
easier.
Thanks...
Using eharmony has helped me to really focus on what I'm really looking for in a partner. What I like what I don't like. But after a while I don't think I can afford it.
 
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