Misleading Religion in Profile


View Poll Results: Would you like to see a non-practicing subcategory added to the Christian and/or Jewish option under
Yes 13 76.47%
No 4 23.53%
Voters: 17. You may not vote on this poll

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kwilson is offline kwilson Post #1  November 7,2009, 6:23pm
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This post is primarily to make a suggestion to those who run eHarmony. I have been using the site for about two months. I have Christian selected for my religion, and I have it set that my match's religion is very important to me. Not surprisingly, most of my matches have Christian set as their religion.

The problems is that often our communication eventually reveals that although the person was raised Christian, they are non-practicing. That is fine with me, but that is not what I want in a match. I think the problem is that the religion category does not provide an option for these people. Many would not consider themselves agnostic or atheist, but they also don't fit into the spiritual but not religious category.

My suggestion would be to add a category under religion called "Christian (non-practicing)." While some of us might consider it a contradiction in terms, there are people on eHarmony who would apply this title to themselves. I also know people who would use "Jewish (non-practicing)." If these categories were added, I think matches would be more accurate and some of us would not have to spend the time going through several communication stages to find out that the person does not practice the religion they listed.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #2  November 8,2009, 11:37am

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Hi Kwilson,

Thank you for letting us know that this is happening and for your feedback. The issue you encountered sounds very fixable. Any time you encounter issues or have concerns with your eHarmony experience, we invite you to contact our Customer Care team so that we can address your concern. It’s actually a 24 hours a day 7 days a week service through the Help/FAQ link: http:help-singles.eharmony.com.

Hopefully, we’ll be putting out some articles about Religion Settings, and getting matches who don’t seem to match in your own level of faith should be brought up in the article. Until then, we don’t want you to get more mis-matches while you are using the service!

All the best,

~Kate
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melman is offline melman Post #3  November 8,2009, 12:11pm
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I have to say no to this because it is subjective. Some people go to church once a year and think they are "practicing". You and I would probably think otherwise.

I would like to see them get rid of "Spiritual but not religious". It creates more questions than it answers. (Not good questions.)
 
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VicBrett is offline VicBrett Post #4  November 8,2009, 11:59pm
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Just add your requirements to your profile.

"Ideal match would be a Lutheran who attends church at least twice a month."
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #5  November 9,2009, 1:41am
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If religion is important to you and you are looking for someone who is equally religious, just mention God, Jesus and the bible a few times in your profile and everyone who is not religious will close you out.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  November 9,2009, 5:50am
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate wrote :
Hi Kwilson,

Thank you for letting us know that this is happening and for your feedback. The issue you encountered sounds very fixable. Any time you encounter issues or have concerns with your eHarmony experience, we invite you to contact our Customer Care team so that we can address your concern. It’s actually a 24 hours a day 7 days a week service through the Help/FAQ link: http:help-singles.eharmony.com.

Hopefully, we’ll be putting out some articles about Religion Settings, and getting matches who don’t seem to match in your own level of faith should be brought up in the article. Until then, we don’t want you to get more mis-matches while you are using the service!

All the best,

~Kate
eHarmony Advice Host
Kate the implication of your post is that there are settings available today that if we used them correctly we would be able to limit / select matches that share our same level of church activity.

Would you care to give some clue as to how to do this? (in a post)
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #7  November 9,2009, 5:59am
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I personally like the spiritual but not religious category.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #8  November 9,2009, 6:20am
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Just thinking out loud here.

If you have a belief in God then you are neither agnostic nor atheist. The Spiritual but not Religious could be any number of things from someone with a religious upbringing who no longer attends church to someone who practices yoga or meditation as their spiritual connection.

The OP implies that he is heavily involved in his church. Now here is my concept on this and dating / relationships. Ideally the person you should be looking for is someone with the same core values (Christian in this case) who may not be a member of a church but is open to church and related activities. If you are going to restrict your acceptable matches to only be your religion and / or denomination and only to those who share your same involvement in their church then you need to only be looking within your church. Since I have had this discussion with others who don't seem to quite get what I am saying, an example:

Male is Catholic and heavily involved in his church. Female is non-denominational and heavily involved in her church. Sunday comes and Male goes to his church for Mass, Sunday school, bible study, etc. for an all day affair at his church. Female goes to her church for a similar all day affair. At the end of the day it really did not matter what religion either one was as they did not share their religious / church activities together.

Just my thoughts and ramblings. Carry on with the regularly scheduled discussion.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #9  May 23,2010, 1:51pm
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Here's a thought- communicate with your matches! If it's important to you that they attend church X number of times per week, ask them about it.

The next logical step after adding "practicing" or not would be to define it, then we could add checkboxes for specific beliefs after that- such as "Do you believe the word 'day' in Genesis 1 refers to a 24-hour day, or could it be a figure of speech indicating an unspecified amount of time?"

There are only a few thousand debate points like that which we could add to make sure the other person's beliefs truly match.

I'm curious what practicing even means- attending services, reading holy text, praying, or what?

Bonus idea: if someone is really involved in church, maybe that's where they should be looking for a mate.
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #10  May 23,2010, 9:17pm
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VicBrett wrote :
Just add your requirements to your profile.

"Ideal match would be a Lutheran who attends church at least twice a month."
I agree.
Too many subcatagories in Christian.
Also too many in spiritual but not religious.
 
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