Why no Personality Profile from my match?


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savvywoman is offline savvywoman Post #1  November 6,2009, 1:08pm
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Hello folks: I've tried all morning to find a way to question why my most recent match was able to withhold his PP even after we were in open communication? I feel he had an unfair advantage....and I wasted more than a week of constant communication with him, only to find he Was distant, withholding, uninvolved--at least to me! I'm brand-new to dating sites and would appreciate any feedback. Also, critiques of my profile would be warmly welcomed. Thanks.
 
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melman is offline melman Post #2  November 6,2009, 5:21pm
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The "Personality Profile" isn't going to tell you what you want to know. I have only seen a couple and they are awfully vague. Most people don't know they can share it, and wouldn't remember how to turn sharing on (I don't).

The "Open Communication" phase does not imply "more than a week of constant communication". The goal is to meet (many of us here like to exchange a couple of messages and then decide whether or not we'd like to meet in person), and I can't tell whether you did that.

And of course, every story has two sides. I'd like to hear his version. I think you're expecting way too much from a computer match.

Post your profile answers in the "Using eHarmony" forum and folks will gladly critique it for you. Before doing so, you may want to look at other profile reviews already over there and make sure you're ready for it.

OK, I think that's everything.
Last edited by melman; November 6,2009 at 5:59pm.
 
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savvywoman is offline savvywoman Post #3  November 6,2009, 6:30pm
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Thanks, Melman for your input. Nevertheless, he had my profile; I never saw his. I don't think that was fair play, although I agree the PPs are very generic. Incidently, I had no idea one could turn PP on and off: I was never given that option. Also, no way could we meet so soon: thousands of miles apart. I just feel the guy was hiding....Ah, well, back to the world. Take care.
 
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yoga_gal is offline yoga_gal Post #4  November 7,2009, 5:51pm
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Melman is right. You have a choice on sharing your profile. I have yet to see anyone's profile or reveal mine. You may want to check your settings to see how to turn this off if it bothers you to have others see yours when you can't see theirs. I must confess, the Personality Profile has never come up with me or my matches at any stage of communication.
Last edited by yoga_gal; November 7,2009 at 6:11pm.
 
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melman is offline melman Post #5  November 7,2009, 6:01pm
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Once up on a time, back when I remembered how to share mine (perhaps it is still being shared), I asked a match I was in OC with to copy and paste it into a message back to me. I was totally unimpressed with what it said.

This reminds me that if you click on the personality profile link, you will usually see a message that says he/she isn't sharing it. But this message can be in the same browser window, or in a new pop-up window. This gives an indication of how old the person's eH account is. I believe the change to the pop-up window applies to new accounts in mid 2007 and later. For what that's worth.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #6  November 7,2009, 6:51pm
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savvywoman wrote :
Thanks, Melman for your input. Nevertheless, he had my profile; I never saw his. I don't think that was fair play, although I agree the PPs are very generic. Incidently, I had no idea one could turn PP on and off: I was never given that option. Also, no way could we meet so soon: thousands of miles apart. I just feel the guy was hiding....Ah, well, back to the world. Take care.
The personality profile isn't automagically on. You have to turn it on.

FWIW I think mine was pretty accurate. And it was pretty lengthy. Maybe they have changed them recently?
 
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Lilycat is offline Lilycat Post #7  November 7,2009, 7:00pm
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One thing I would like to say is that IMHO you did not waste a week communicating with this person - you are having a learning experience and you sound like you might be the type of person whose learning curve is pretty steep. You say that you are new at the on line thing, and it is very different, and the guy may very well have been hiding something, you never know. Check these forums, do a bit of reading here and it will probably serve you well. So will patience, as the unsuitables pretty well cull themselves if given a little time....... oh, and Melman may come across as a bit of a cynic, but he is quite often right on target with his words....

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melman is offline melman Post #8  November 7,2009, 8:49pm
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Lilycat wrote :
oh, and Melman may come across as a bit of a cynic, but he is quite often right on target with his words....
Ummm... thank you? I think.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #9  November 7,2009, 9:49pm
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I actually was pretty impressed with my personality profile. It was long, fairly accurate, and had some interesting info for me in it. Maybe they've upgraded it recently. If your account is old perhaps you could ask to have it regenerated? I believe eH suggests retaking the personality test every 6 months anyway. I don't think they charge for that, although I don't know for sure.
 
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savvywoman is offline savvywoman Post #10  November 7,2009, 10:01pm
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Thanks, everyone: I didn't get the memo about turning on or off the PP. My bad. What's upsetting me is that I really like the guy and know I closed him too abruptly for something he may well have been unaware of. I think my PP was turned off too! I believe EHA should address what could be a problem. Ah well, live and learn....SW
 
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