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Classickeys73 Classickeys73 is offline
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I'm new to this. How many matches is approprate to be communicating with at the same time?
- November 4th, 2009, 11:12 pm
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CeliBean79 CeliBean79 is offline
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I had the same question a couple weeks ago. Somehow to me it seemed rude to have more than one comminucation going, but rude to whom? Realistically speaking, those people you are communicating with are probably also communicating with at least one other so my answer is this, the more communications you open the better chances you have at meeting the right one for you. Probably no more than three though or it would really get confusing. You will find as you go along, that often times some people close you mid communication while others just plain dissapear, so better to really review your matches and go for it. : )
- November 5th, 2009, 03:08 pm
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Dafearon Dafearon is offline
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The answer is simple. As many as you can comfortably handle. If you can only handle one at a time, do that.

The thing is, don't expect other people to be on the same level as you because people use this system differently.

Also, it is usually rude for someone (or you) to ask on a first meet up "So, how many other people are you talking to while you're talking to me?" I would never ask that, but I would assume i am not the only one. I would also hope that the person i was going out with, wouldn't ask that of me because its a little personal your first time out with someone.
- November 5th, 2009, 03:42 pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is online now
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Dafearon wrote :
The answer is simple. As many as you can comfortably handle. If you can only handle one at a time, do that.

The thing is, don't expect other people to be on the same level as you because people use this system differently.

Also, it is usually rude for someone (or you) to ask on a first meet up "So, how many other people are you talking to while you're talking to me?" I would never ask that, but I would assume i am not the only one. I would also hope that the person i was going out with, wouldn't ask that of me because its a little personal your first time out with someone.
I have had several matches that ask this question in some form in Second Question or in Open Communication or on the first date.
- November 7th, 2009, 09:03 am
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Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is online now
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There are different stages of the eHarmony communication process. You should send First Questions to every match that is of ANY interest to you and you should respond to any match that sends you First Questions.

If and when you get to Second Questions it becomes a bit more time consuming so if you have several matches that have made it to that point and you have some that you are not that interested in then you may want to close some of the less interesting.

If and when you get to Open Communication it becomes even more time consuming so you may wish to cut back some more on the number that you are communicating with at one time.

Now for the reasons behind all the above and why you should communicate with as many as you can handle at a time.

Most (about 90%) of your matches will be non-paying members who will never communicate so you should send First Questions to all matches that don't make you go

At some point in the communication process a good many of your matches are going to poof or close you. So you should continue on in the process with as many as you can handle.

Even when you have gotten to Open Communication there is good odds that you will not get to the meeting point. And the likelihood that a meeting will progress past a first date is slim. The likelihood that a first date will actually turn into a LTR is akin to winning the lottery.

But you do what YOU feel is right. I am going to be trying to communicate with every match that interests me until I get a sense that we may have a chance at something long term. Then I will start to focus solely on you.
- November 7th, 2009, 09:17 am
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gonefishing68 gonefishing68 is offline
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Classickeys73 wrote :
I'm new to this. How many matches is approprate to be communicating with at the same time?
Some of us are struggling to get even one going..lol What's the secret of your success??
- November 10th, 2009, 10:04 am
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Dafearon Dafearon is offline
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
I have had several matches that ask this question in some form in Second Question or in Open Communication or on the first date.
Really? This is interesting to me. I've always found it to be a little controlling and inappropriate. Its almost akin to asking "how many men/women have you been with" kind of deal. You never really want to know the answer to it, but it sticks in you somehow.

So, how did that work out for you?
- November 10th, 2009, 10:35 am
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smileatjen smileatjen is offline
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Its just chatting so I'd say how ever many you want. You are committed to any one specific so go for what you want!
- November 10th, 2009, 12:36 pm
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