eHarmony Profile Workshop Question 13: Is there any additional information you would like your matches to know about you?


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librarybabe is offline librarybabe Post #11  November 5,2009, 6:14pm
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cardguy wrote :
Mine is currently:



I know it's rather generic, but I also feel like sometimes people try to cram every interesting detail about themselves in their initial profile and leave not much to discover later...rather than make one last pitch about why I'm such a great person, I figure I'll let the rest of my profile peak for itself, end on a pleasant note, and "ask for the sale".

Reasonable idea, or hopelessly boring?
Well, the way you phrased it isn't bad, but I get so many variations on that same answer that it is a throwaway answer. I would sooner read something totally inane, like "I think it is very important for you to know that I will not eat purple vegetables. " Also a throw away answer if you can't think of anything else you wish to divulge to complete strangers, but at least it is funny. Ok. Maybe it is just odd. But I laughed when I read it.

I doubt that we all have so little to say about ourselves that if we say one more thing on the profile that we will actually have nothing to say in person. If that is likely for you, then you should probably look for people like me who are obvious chatterboxes. You can just nod a lot and everything will be ducky.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #12  November 5,2009, 9:28pm
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melman wrote :
See, you're making the same mistake I made, and that countless others make. Your problem is that you're not getting many (any?) active matches. But you assume that nobody is interested in you. So you start taking the edges off your profile, making it look less distinctive. Eventually you get to where you're pleading for your matches (if you in fact have any) to just give you a chance.

You haven't quite done that (yet). The change you made is just fine. But you thought animal rights was important enough to mention; clearly it's an important interest to you. I would have left it in, although probably just as a single sentence stating your interest in it. For sure, that last sentence (about marriage) isn't necessary.
I think you're right, Melman. Thanks. I didn't like taking it out, and I will put it back. Minus the marriage thing.

librarybabe wrote :
You can just nod a lot and everything will be ducky.
Perhaps this should be your additional info?
 
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librarybabe is offline librarybabe Post #13  November 6,2009, 6:58am
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Sassafras54 wrote :
Perhaps this should be your additional info?
Anyone who reads my overly long profile responses will be able to conclude that. I'm actually hoping to find someone who will be able to interrupt me occasionally. I begin to feel foolish when I am doing all the talking and the other person is just smiling to himself and nodding. Reminds me of when my Dad use to take me along to get the car fixed so the long walk home from the service station would be entertaining while I regaled him with the wonders of life in Kindergarten. After he told my Mom that I never stopped talking the whole time, I told him he could go by himself next time.
 
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Indyguy11 is offline Indyguy11 Post #14  November 6,2009, 7:07am
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librarybabe wrote :
Anyone who reads my overly long profile responses will be able to conclude that. I'm actually hoping to find someone who will be able to interrupt me occasionally. I begin to feel foolish when I am doing all the talking and the other person is just smiling to himself and nodding. Reminds me of when my Dad use to take me along to get the car fixed so the long walk home from the service station would be entertaining while I regaled him with the wonders of life in Kindergarten. After he told my Mom that I never stopped talking the whole time, I told him he could go by himself next time.
I think we've found the true meaning of precociousness right here.
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #15  November 6,2009, 9:56am

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librarybabe wrote :
Anyone who reads my overly long profile responses will be able to conclude that. I'm actually hoping to find someone who will be able to interrupt me occasionally. I begin to feel foolish when I am doing all the talking and the other person is just smiling to himself and nodding. Reminds me of when my Dad use to take me along to get the car fixed so the long walk home from the service station would be entertaining while I regaled him with the wonders of life in Kindergarten. After he told my Mom that I never stopped talking the whole time, I told him he could go by himself next time.
Aaaw

I think you have a cute smile btw. I would interrupt your talking anytime!
 
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KevinMatchstick is offline KevinMatchstick Post #16  November 8,2009, 2:02am
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Mine is:

I am not a cookie cutter. I've never really fit into to all of the little molds that society makes for you - dating, careerism, sports, partying, etc. All my life I have been a bit "different" from everyone else. I generally consider that a strong point, though it also means that I'm not for everyone. I also do not date. For fun, anyway. I've never been interested in that sort of thing. I do like to have fun, but not by casual dating. I only want to date someone I think I can be serious about. If that's you, great, I'd love to meet you.

A friend found the "cookie cutter" mention to be "depressing"....
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #17  November 8,2009, 8:45am
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The sentence "I am not a cookie cutter." actually means you don't cut cookies ... which isn't what you meant. I think you could just delete this sentence.

I'd suggest rewording what you're saying. You are talking about what you DON'T do: don't fit the mold, don't casually date etc. It would be more enticing if you talked about what you DO do. E.g. "instead of wasting time partying and bar-hopping, I like to do ..." and "what matters to me in life is ...". That would tell the reader more about you, give them something to respond to.
 
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melman is offline melman Post #18  November 8,2009, 9:57am
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The point of the profile is to give the reader reasons to want to meet you. Not to give him/her reasons to close you. KevinMatchstick, your statement is exactly what you don't want to do. It's depressing.
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #19  November 8,2009, 10:36am
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Kevin - I agree with the others. Your statement also puts a LOT of pressure on the process here in that it suggests that you will have already determined that you want to be in a serious relationship with anyone you go so far as to meet (even before a cup of coffee!). If you don't "date," how is it that you get to know someone in a fun way? Do you not get together and do fun things?
 
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KevinMatchstick is offline KevinMatchstick Post #20  November 9,2009, 1:57am
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Thanks for some good and interesting feedback. Hmm...and here I thought it was a reasonably accurate, neutral-to-positive description of me. Apparently not....

I do think I need to get the "different" and "not for everyone" messages across somehow, but obviously in a more positive way than I have thus far.

As for the point about pressure, I think what I was trying to convey was that unless I get a sense from the profile, GC and OC that she is someone I could be serious about - not necessarily knowing for sure that I want to be, but at least feeling like I could be - then I don't really want to spend the time. Again, I obviously didn't achieve my goal there.

Some significant rewriting ahead, it seems.

(In answer to your other question, in the past, I got to know them in class or work, and we knew we were interested in each other before we ever started going out. I never dated.)
 
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