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rRACINGRANDY's Avatar

rRACINGRANDY hopes for better weather.

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I am sure we all have had our bad experiences on dating from this site. The discussion board is "littered" with dates gone horribly wrong to people lacking some simple common courtesy. So I thought tonight I would add my own two cents. Especially after what took place a few minutes ago from a match that had initiated communication over the weekend. Another reason why my membership ends in 3 days.

I am finding a lot of interest in my profile and I actually was involved in two serious relationships that both lasted for over a year from this site. But over the past several months, a pattern had developed with my matches that has caused some concern on either my approach or perhaps the women that I am selecting. For example, the last match that initiated the communication, just stated that her baby sitter had ovarian cancer and she would not be communicated to me anymore. Honestly, I have heard this excuse several times over the past 2 years and this particular match.....had no children, no pets..no nothing. Furthermore, this match disappeared for a few days during open communication and then reappeared. It happened last week.

I know telling someone your not interested is one of the hardest things to do but I would think it would be done with more tact. Why show interest and go through the process and exchange more pictures and more interest when either your not ready to date or worse...have no intention on meeting for a date.

That is what I am finding recently from this site! Almost as if there is no intent of really dating. Just like the women are "going through the motions" or are not ready to date.....at all. Confused!!

I know it's a two sided coin, here!! But why over the past several weeks has a pattern clearly developed.

Is it me?? Am I giving out "bad vibes". Or is it my matches??

Have others experienced this??

What happened tonight was the final straw. Lot's of interest in my profile but either the female takes forever in the process, wants to write and be pen pals for several weeks before meeting or someone gets cancer......

Again, I understand one or two doing this. But several over the past few months??
- November 2nd, 2009, 08:20 pm
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I've had this problem before and its been frustrating as hell. I can't stand it when you go through all the steps, then meet and they either waffle or just are content being pen pals. Oh that irritates me. I've had a few matches do that and I just cut it short and punch out if I get that vibe.

Worse is when they're completely dishonest with you and ARE in a relationship jerking you through this process.
- November 2nd, 2009, 08:37 pm
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bravethestorm Still looking for the wedding dress!

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Attitude is a part of it on both sides. When you are frustrated...a lot of time that comes across in your profile or comments. Also your matches go through the same types of emotions.

I found eharmony has patches where you get a lot of communication and times where no one seems to want to talk. Finding the right person for you can take time or be quick. It's just all a matter of luck and being sure they are the right person for you.

Take a break when you need to and look when you're ready. It really is a numbers game where if you have the patience (for me it was over 3000 matches/years on eharmony)...the wait is definitely worth it.

Last edited by bravethestorm; November 2nd, 2009 at 08:44 pm. Reason: additional info
- November 2nd, 2009, 08:43 pm
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rRACINGRANDY's Avatar

rRACINGRANDY hopes for better weather.

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This is probably the best response and the wisest!!!

Thanks!!!
- November 2nd, 2009, 08:45 pm
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