I'm asking again, please don't do this unless...


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ScottK is offline ScottK Post #21  November 1,2009, 8:04pm
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For myself, if I liked the Match, and was disappointed in being Closed, I will always send a Final Message of "Good Luck With Your Search", *AND* select one of the other responses as well.

My feeling is, this is what I really want to say with them...

ie, "I really hope you would reconsider, but if you don't, good luck with your search."

BTW, I don't see any problem with having all the responses allowing the other person to Reopen.

Who cares?

If you don't want to Reopen, then don't. It goes into your Closed area forever, and you will never see it again.

Of all the "issues" on EH that we all complain about, this is such a minor nitpick, that its almost ridiculous to bring up.
 
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Faira is offline Faira Post #22  November 1,2009, 9:11pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
This is not a re-open request. Sending ANY Final Message will cause the Re-Open button to be displayed.
Thank you!! Everyone got it now?

Good job, Gr8Guy.
 
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MicMan is offline MicMan Post #23  November 2,2009, 5:48am
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I guess I don't see what the big problem is. I've received this message a number of times from matches and didn't think twice about it. I just saw them as being courteous. I never saw it as a demand to re-open the match.

At the same time, I send this to pretty much any match that closes me out too. I'm not doing it in an effort to get them to start the communication process. I'm using it as the final message that it is. I just see it as a way to be courteous...karma I guess. I'm treating my matches how I would like to be treated myself.
 
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pussinboots is offline pussinboots Post #24  November 2,2009, 6:52am
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ScottK wrote :
Of all the "issues" on EH that we all complain about, this is such a minor nitpick, that its almost ridiculous to bring up.
Do you mean like wanting to have more nudges available per match, when even one so rarely leads to anything?
 
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ScottK is offline ScottK Post #25  November 2,2009, 6:35pm
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pussinboots wrote :
Do you mean like wanting to have more nudges available per match, when even one so rarely leads to anything?
No, I was thinking in bigger terms, like knowing if our Matches are paying members or not, or perhaps evening out the unlevelness of the playing field of requiring "Height", by also requiring "Weight/Body Type".

BTW, Nudges DO work.
I HAVE had successful nudges that have led to dates.

I can't help it if your Matches don't respond to yours.
Last edited by ScottK; November 2,2009 at 6:40pm.
 
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Oregon_Coast_Guy is offline Oregon_Coast_Guy Post #26  November 2,2009, 6:43pm
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I just don't understand the desire to wish good luck to someone who rejected you.
 
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nomoreillusions is offline nomoreillusions Post #27  November 2,2009, 7:36pm
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I don't see it as 'rejection' in a negative sense. I mean yes, this is a dating site, but if there's something that you think would be an obvious issue based on the information you're seeing, why would you choose to pursue a wrong match for yourself?

To me it's simply, "nothing personal, you're just not my type." And so I have no problem with a simple offer of "good luck," since the reason we're here is to search.

Why waste time on a person that you don't think would be right for you? It's not a judgment of them, but a call of the potential for an "us". I have lots of friends with great personalities and qualities that just would not fit with mine in a relationship setting.

Not hooking up isn't a form of rejection - it's being honest about what you want and don't want, and not seeking to lead someone on or lie to yourself about what you want from a partner.

So yes, to those who think I'm not right for them, for whatever reason, I *do* wish them good luck in their search. I truly hope they find someone, just like I truly hope I find someone, but that doesn't mean I'll go for *anyone*. I'd rather go for those that I feel might make a good partner for me.
 
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melman is offline melman Post #28  November 2,2009, 7:44pm
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Oregon_Coast_Guy wrote :
I just don't understand the desire to wish good luck to someone who rejected you.
Again, it's the only one of the choices that could not possibly be interpreted as a request to re-open. (unless you've been matched with the OP, apparently.)
 
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pussinboots is offline pussinboots Post #29  November 2,2009, 9:55pm
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Oregon_Coast_Guy wrote :
I just don't understand the desire to wish good luck to someone who rejected you.
Thank you for understanding more than many here have.

You know, I should have started a thread instead asking how many others are there besides me that have gone on further with a match after re-opening because of the good luck message.
 
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MicMan is offline MicMan Post #30  November 3,2009, 5:21am
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pussinboots wrote :
Thank you for understanding more than many here have.

You know, I should have started a thread instead asking how many others are there besides me that have gone on further with a match after re-opening because of the good luck message.
I've never sent the good luck message to someone in hopes of being re-opened. If I wanted to be re-opened, I'd use one of the other messages instead. I can count on one hand the number of times I've done that and I don't need any hands to count the number of times that's worked.
 
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