MQRegan is offline MQRegan Post #1  October 28,2009, 11:25pm
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Been at stage 3 for exactly a week. Should I nudge? Close out? Wait? What? Thinking if I nudge it looks desperate. Thinking if I close I could loose a good match.

Stuck in catch 22vile.
 
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melman is offline melman Post #2  October 28,2009, 11:38pm
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Nudging is not desperate. It is appropriate after a week's time. Sometimes folks don't realize that it is their turn to do something.

But if I may... you have to drop the attitude of worrying about "losing" matches. Don't chase and don't worry. Don't let the frustration get the best of you.
 
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notyet is offline notyet Post #3  October 29,2009, 7:49am
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i'd wait. i find nudging obnoxious. it costs you nothing and then you don't have to worry about appearances.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #4  October 29,2009, 7:54am
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It's a mystery to me why people start engaging in GC and then just vaporize at some point. If they've made it to stage 3, it would seem they understand the "my turn, your turn" nature of it, so I don't see any point in nudges. I would nudge someone who got stuck earlier since they might be new and not understand how it works.

You can always just leave them open and see if anything occurs at some point ... meanwhile start communicating with others.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  October 29,2009, 8:43am
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I wait and then nudge when there is a FCW. If they still don't respond I will close after the FCW.

As for worrying about losing a good match because you closed after waiting a week or two for them to answer a couple of questions. Well if they are not interested enough to keep up with the communication and move it forward then we were just not a good match to begin with.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #6  October 29,2009, 8:57am

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Hi MQRegan,

I say, there’s a reason we have the Nudge after a week. Why not use it? It’s a feature common to everyone, so it’s acceptable to use it if you are interested in someone. It will at least let her know that you are intentional and serious about getting to know her.

Hope it works out!

~Kate
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MQRegan is offline MQRegan Post #7  October 30,2009, 2:56pm
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So I nudged her and she moved to OC and I guess I should send an e-mail. Though, I must say, after a 9 days or waiting and a nudge for her to open communication I feel that she really may not be interested and just did it for the hell of it. No?

What do all you think.
 
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alissag is offline alissag Post #8  October 30,2009, 4:12pm
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MQRegan wrote :
So I nudged her and she moved to OC and I guess I should send an e-mail. Though, I must say, after a 9 days or waiting and a nudge for her to open communication I feel that she really may not be interested and just did it for the hell of it. No?

What do all you think.
From a woman's perspective, no one makes me do something I don't want to do. I would only move to OC if I was interested. Although, if I moved it there I would send a message along with the request. That's just how I operate, to each their own.
 
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lionsfan is offline lionsfan Post #9  October 30,2009, 5:41pm
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MQRegan
I presently have two matches, I had sent ice breakers. It was about one month, before there was a response from either match. Now I'm in OC with both matches. I had thought about closing them out, but then out of the blue, I got a response from both of them. I would not close your match out,please give her more time. I later found out that one of my matches, was taking some college finals. I'm not sure why the other match, waited so long?
 
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melman is offline melman Post #10  October 30,2009, 6:15pm
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MQRegan wrote :
So I nudged her and she moved to OC and I guess I should send an e-mail. Though, I must say, after a 9 days or waiting and a nudge for her to open communication I feel that she really may not be interested and just did it for the hell of it. No?

What do all you think.
The same thing happened to me once. I used a nudge to get a match to start stage 3. I was fairly sure she didn't realize it was her turn to go first. But when I started OC and she didn't reply for several more days, I closed. Think about it, would you really want the aggravation of someone who is apparently so unreliable and/or clueless?
 
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