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MQRegan MQRegan is offline
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Been at stage 3 for exactly a week. Should I nudge? Close out? Wait? What? Thinking if I nudge it looks desperate. Thinking if I close I could loose a good match.

Stuck in catch 22vile.
- October 29th, 2009, 12:25 am
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melman melman is offline
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Nudging is not desperate. It is appropriate after a week's time. Sometimes folks don't realize that it is their turn to do something.

But if I may... you have to drop the attitude of worrying about "losing" matches. Don't chase and don't worry. Don't let the frustration get the best of you.
- October 29th, 2009, 12:38 am
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notyet notyet is offline
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i'd wait. i find nudging obnoxious. it costs you nothing and then you don't have to worry about appearances.
- October 29th, 2009, 08:49 am
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Sassafras54 Sassafras54 is online now
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It's a mystery to me why people start engaging in GC and then just vaporize at some point. If they've made it to stage 3, it would seem they understand the "my turn, your turn" nature of it, so I don't see any point in nudges. I would nudge someone who got stuck earlier since they might be new and not understand how it works.

You can always just leave them open and see if anything occurs at some point ... meanwhile start communicating with others.
- October 29th, 2009, 08:54 am
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Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is online now
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I wait and then nudge when there is a FCW. If they still don't respond I will close after the FCW.

As for worrying about losing a good match because you closed after waiting a week or two for them to answer a couple of questions. Well if they are not interested enough to keep up with the communication and move it forward then we were just not a good match to begin with.
- October 29th, 2009, 09:43 am
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline
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Hi MQRegan,

I say, there’s a reason we have the Nudge after a week. Why not use it? It’s a feature common to everyone, so it’s acceptable to use it if you are interested in someone. It will at least let her know that you are intentional and serious about getting to know her.

Hope it works out!

~Kate
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- October 29th, 2009, 09:57 am
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MQRegan MQRegan is offline
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So I nudged her and she moved to OC and I guess I should send an e-mail. Though, I must say, after a 9 days or waiting and a nudge for her to open communication I feel that she really may not be interested and just did it for the hell of it. No?

What do all you think.
- October 30th, 2009, 03:56 pm
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alissag alissag is offline
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MQRegan wrote :
So I nudged her and she moved to OC and I guess I should send an e-mail. Though, I must say, after a 9 days or waiting and a nudge for her to open communication I feel that she really may not be interested and just did it for the hell of it. No?

What do all you think.
From a woman's perspective, no one makes me do something I don't want to do. I would only move to OC if I was interested. Although, if I moved it there I would send a message along with the request. That's just how I operate, to each their own.
- October 30th, 2009, 05:12 pm
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lionsfan lionsfan is offline
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MQRegan
I presently have two matches, I had sent ice breakers. It was about one month, before there was a response from either match. Now I'm in OC with both matches. I had thought about closing them out, but then out of the blue, I got a response from both of them. I would not close your match out,please give her more time. I later found out that one of my matches, was taking some college finals. I'm not sure why the other match, waited so long?
- October 30th, 2009, 06:41 pm
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melman melman is offline
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MQRegan wrote :
So I nudged her and she moved to OC and I guess I should send an e-mail. Though, I must say, after a 9 days or waiting and a nudge for her to open communication I feel that she really may not be interested and just did it for the hell of it. No?

What do all you think.
The same thing happened to me once. I used a nudge to get a match to start stage 3. I was fairly sure she didn't realize it was her turn to go first. But when I started OC and she didn't reply for several more days, I closed. Think about it, would you really want the aggravation of someone who is apparently so unreliable and/or clueless?
- October 30th, 2009, 07:15 pm
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