Suggesting a meeting during OC without speaking on the phone?


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FaintestInkling is offline FaintestInkling Post #21  September 24,2010, 10:22pm
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liquid_steel wrote :

The other reason why women prefer a phone call before meeting? Safety. I marvel at how many men underestimate a woman's risk in a blind date. Maybe you know that you are not a problem (but you know you), yet she's wise to consider her safety a top priority. Talking on the phone helps a woman to take another step towards trust (provided you are trustworthy). Or, if she finds your voice terribly unattractive, would you not rather find that out before you meet? Likewise, what if you find her voice grating or unnerving? Wouldn't you rather find that out before investing several hours on a blind date?

Does this add to your perspective?
Respectfully, safety is a good reason to make the first meet in a public location. I don't see how talking on the phone to someone increases safety. Untrustworthy people can't talk on the phone? A stranger on the phone can't gain your trust? If anything, shadier types might actually come off better on the phone than normal people.

If she "finds my voice terribly unattractive," and that is a deal-breaker for her, I think she probably needs to evaluate how picky she is being, but to each their own---and I'm ok finding that out at the first meeting. Given that I'm not sure exactly how grating and unnerving a woman's voice would actually have to be for me to reject her solely on that basis, I'm comfortable "wasting" a few hours on a blind date.

(I did have one PoF date a year ago whose very colloquial accent would have been apparent over the phone, which arguably would have tipped me off that she was less intelligent than I thought---but I think I still would have met her had we talked on the phone, because I would have still thought she was just nervous, and wasn't coming off very well.)

I'd rather just meet than waste any amount of time on an awkward telephone conversation with a stranger, and have her decide that "there is no chemistry" based on that ....

I always go straight from e-mail to meeting, and only once has the woman suggested talking on the phone in response (it was a Match.com) match, and gave me her phone number.

To be honest, my interest was lukewarm, and responded by saying "I prefer skipping the phone phase, but if it's important to you, you can call me" and gave her my phone number. Not surprisingly, she did not call me. I set up a time to meet in the next e-mail, we made a plan, but in another e-mail, she ended up revealing a dealbreaker and I informed her it was probably not worth meeting. (She lived in a town much farther from me than her profile stated; the profile location was where she had just gone to graduate school.)

So to me it seems like a lot of women don't care, or they're afraid to raise the point.

I would talk on the phone if my interest was stronger and the woman really wanted to, but I still think it serves little purpose.

At best, it's a substitute for meeting for a very long distance match (which I'm highly skeptical about anyway).
 
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charmed59 is online now charmed59 Post #22  September 24,2010, 10:28pm
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If its up to me, I'd prefer to meet before talking on the phone. These women that can find out things from a guys voice? I'm not one of them.

However, if the guy wants to talk on the phone first, I can do that. There is always something in their profile that I find interesting, so there is always something to talk about.

I don't think I talked to the guy I'm dating now until after our 5th or 6th date. We still don't talk on the phone often, but we email each other multiple times a day, and see each other most days.
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melman is offline melman Post #23  September 25,2010, 9:57am
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This thread has been dead almost a year. Why did it suddenly come back to life?

In any event, I think the post about everything that can supposedly be "learned" from a stranger's voice over the phone, to be terribly naive. You don't know anything until you meet. So why wait?
 
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nancymargritangelita is offline nancymargritangelita Post #24  September 25,2010, 10:16am
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melman wrote :
This thread has been dead almost a year. Why did it suddenly come back to life?

In any event, I think the post about everything that can supposedly be "learned" from a stranger's voice over the phone, to be terribly naive. You don't know anything until you meet. So why wait?
Exactly what I was going to ask Things don't always make sense.

In any case, the sooner you meet the better off you are. You can't tell what a person is like just by their voice.
 
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