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MicMan's Avatar

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neardc wrote :
Personally, I would much rather that we could simply close matches without having to select a reason (and I would especially like it if we could close multiple matches at once, which would make it significantly less cumbersome to handle our inboxes).

I've come to believe that it just doesn't matter what someone picks. It can hardly be considered useful feedback for many reasons, and it seems to inspire a lot of angst and distress for quite a few subscribers--who inevitably read more into the selected option than what could possibly have ever been intended by their match...
I'm all for just being able to close a match without having to give a reason. A close is a close and that's it.

Like neardc said, there's not much useful feedback for many of the reasons for closing. How many threads have there been on here asking what various reasons actually mean?

Paring down some of the reasons wouldn't be bad either. "I'd rather not say" is as probably least tactful close that's currently on the system. It's always kind of smacked of someone passive aggressive to me. You can also lose the "because I was put on hold" since the ability to place matches on hold has been gone from the system for a long time.

I would also love to be able to close multiple matches at once. Closing one match is cumbersome enough. You click to close the match. Then you choose your reason. Then you go back to the match and then you have to return to your other matches. I've got hundreds of poofers and otherwise inactive matches that I'd like to close, but frankly, I don't want to spend all the time clicking on each match one by one. If I could wipe out a bunch of them at a time, I'd do it in a heartbeat.
- October 29th, 2009, 06:22 am
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cardguy wrote :
It'd be nice if there was a "profile was not complete" option.
This would be a nice reason to have in the list.
- October 29th, 2009, 09:55 am
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I don't have a problem with "Other". In my mind I have assigned it to be "You are too short" (this reason is based on my experience on Match)

The one that really is bad is "I would rather not say". That one just hurts.
- October 29th, 2009, 09:57 am
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It’s interesting to me that it seems to be common for a lot of people to feel that Other and “I’d rather not say” aren’t helpful or tactful. It seems common that they’re easy to read into rather than take a face value.

I’m wondering why that is – for example, if the wording were changed to something along the lines of, “my reasons for closing are personal,” would this or something similar possibly be easier to receive?

~Kate
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- October 29th, 2009, 10:08 am
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It’s interesting to me that it seems to be common for a lot of people to feel that Other and “I’d rather not say” aren’t helpful or tactful. It seems common that they’re easy to read into rather than take a face value.

I’m wondering why that is – for example, if the wording were changed to something along the lines of, “my reasons for closing are personal,” would this or something similar possibly be easier to receive?

~Kate
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No; men under 6' will still think it has something to do with their height, overweight women will still think it has to do with their weight, and people with big noses will still think it has to do with that (not that the actual reasons have anything at all to do with those characteristics, of course! But, people seem to focus on their personal vulnerabilities when interpreting such statements).

Perhaps "none of the above" would be more palatable...(although I'm not suggesting adding that).

I don't have a problem with the "other" response and don't read anything in particular into it. The "I'd rather not say" option is pretty awful, though, and I really can't imagine why it was ever included in the first place...lol. It's pretty difficult to put a positive spin on that one!
- October 29th, 2009, 10:58 am
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Actually, I've always considered "Other" to mean "None of the above" or "My reason isn't listed."

Thanks for the feedback, though. It seems as though anything written is always more open to misinterpretation (again reinforcing that nothing should be taken personally)!

~Kate
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- October 29th, 2009, 11:25 am
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I personally think "My reason isn't listed" is fine.

Another one that might be good in addition to "Never communicate" is "This match has stopped communicating" or maybe "This match has not responded to my latest communication"
- October 29th, 2009, 12:31 pm
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I use "I want to pursue other matches at eharmony" in place of "Other". I think it hits the nail on the head.

Addition of a "Profile was vague/incomplete" close option would be very useful.
- October 29th, 2009, 01:15 pm
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PY_2 wrote :
I personally think "My reason isn't listed" is fine.

Another one that might be good in addition to "Never communicate" is "This match has stopped communicating" or maybe "This match has not responded to my latest communication"
Thanks for the feedback, PY_2! There is a difference between "never" communicating (as it currently reads) and being farther along in the process with you. Maybe something that covers them all, like, "This match didn't respond to my communication".

Nice to see you on the boards, PY_2.

~Kate
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- October 29th, 2009, 01:20 pm
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Thanks for the feedback, PY_2! There is a difference between "never" communicating (as it currently reads) and being farther along in the process with you. Maybe something that covers them all, like, "This match didn't respond to my communication".

Nice to see you on the boards, PY_2.

~Kate
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Thank you Kate
- October 29th, 2009, 01:26 pm
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