What would you prefer to see instead of “Other”?


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southpaw09 is offline southpaw09 Post #141  November 29,2009, 1:53pm
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I think a good alternative to “other” would be “profile not complete”. As a matter of fact, it would be nice if you had to fill out the profile in its entirety before you could even get any matches. Most of the matches I get don’t fill out the profiles – which is just a waste of my valuable time. I am not able to gather any constructive information about them because of this.
 
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SingleYetAgain is offline SingleYetAgain Post #142  November 30,2009, 1:12am
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How about honesty? "I am not a paid member and can't respond". Rather than leaving you to think you're undateable after getting shut down cold for the umpteenth time, you would then know that the person was not a paid member and therefore, you might have had a shot with him or her.
 
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FaintestInkling is offline FaintestInkling Post #143  December 1,2009, 2:43pm
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liquid_steel is offline liquid_steel Post #144  July 15,2010, 9:20am

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I've found that I much prefer no explanation at all, seeing how explanations so often provoke new problems (when either party has already made up their mind to close out). Explanations often begin a debate rather than end an interaction, yes? I prefer explanations to originate from people with whom we both intend to continue relating -- those explanations help us to grow another step closer. Not so when one party clearly intends otherwise.

I also realize that no match owes me an explanation of any sort; nor do I expect a match to be responsible for my personal growth (that's my job) by offering constructive feedback. For constructive feedback on my profile, I consult friends, the eHarmony staff, a counselor, etc. -- people who've expressed a genuine interest in me and my successful search. I also do this out of consideration for my matches (do my own homework on my profile rather than using valuable matches as my editors, counselors, advisors, etc. Nor am I willing to serve these roles for other matches -- a completed and well-prepared profile tells me that he at least respects the time of his matches.

However, if a match does choose to provide an explanation, I consider that a generous bonus, but certainly not a requirement. The energy spent in the vexations of explanations may be better invested in nurturing the mutually satisfying interactions, yes?
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #145  July 15,2010, 10:04am

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Hi Liquid_steel,

Thanks for the feedback!

I agree, and I think you have some particularly excellent points spelled out in the second paragraph -- that's a big part of the reason why the Closed reasons options were removed. Here’s what I wrote on this a little while ago, before the Closed reasons were removed: eHarmony Etiquette.

I believe that the more matches invest in each other (the farther along in communication and/or dating) the more a personal closure or explanation (if you feel it is appropriate) might be courteous.

~Kate
eHarmony Advice Host
 
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AnalogGuppy is offline AnalogGuppy Post #146  July 15,2010, 10:24am
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Just as a matter of general preference - I always prefer to use my own words over picking from responses. I find that simplified choices often just do not fit what I'd want to say or paint too broad a brush if chosen.
 
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