sdlp79 is offline sdlp79 Post #1  October 26,2009, 7:05pm
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I was matched with a guy in early September, I liked his profile enough to send him the first questions, 2 weeks go by and no reply so I closed him out with the "match never communicated" reason.

Today, over a month later, he sent his final message to me:
I think if we met, you might have different feelings about who I am.

Would you re-open a match after they have been closed for over a month and the reason you closed is they didn't communicate with you before?
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #2  October 26,2009, 7:14pm
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He could have been a new, non-paying member at the time, but now is a paid member.

If you were interested enough to send 1st questions the first time around, I'd recommend re-opening and seeing where it goes. You could always close him again later if it doesn't pan out.
 
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CapnCrunch23 is offline CapnCrunch23 Post #3  October 26,2009, 7:24pm

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I agree with the invisible jet owner!

re-open see where it goes.To me it's still a potential match.
 
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pussinboots is offline pussinboots Post #4  October 26,2009, 7:41pm
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If I was still interested in a match, I would.

Unfortunately it has happened that matches took tooo much time to respond after being reopened and I needed to close again. Be prepared.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #5  October 26,2009, 8:38pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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In my time using eH I've reopened 3 matches who requested this. Two of them sent one more message and then disappeared again into oblivion. One took the opportunity to close ME as soon as I had reopened her. lol
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #6  October 26,2009, 9:34pm
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jayjay wrote :
One took the opportunity to close ME as soon as I had reopened her. lol
Wow! You never even met and she still got the last word in! Now there's a pro. Good thing you closed her!
 
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BrickWallsBreak is offline BrickWallsBreak Post #7  October 26,2009, 10:40pm
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Dealing with this exact, same issue now myself. The first time a week goes by after initial communication (I sent first questions) and I closed it, she sends the "I-wish-you-would-reconsider" message, so I reopen it. Four days now, nothing and I'll probably close again in a couple of days. Nudge sent, icebreaker sent -- nothing.

Do these people check e-mail at all??! It's so frustrating to get back a 10% response rate. My guess is they are free weekenders, or left the site ages ago. No one is -that- busy.

The last few days, I went into crackdown mode and just closed everyone open without responses for 4+ days. Life is too short and who needs the game playing and aggravation?
Last edited by BrickWallsBreak; October 27,2009 at 12:13am.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #8  October 27,2009, 5:55am
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I wouldn't have been so quick to close it to begin with. When are you people going to learn that most people are also communicating with and dating others and there's a good chance their plate may be a little full?

Yeah, maybe they should turn off matching for awhile but they don't know the 'ins-and-outs' yet. What does it hurt to leave the match open until you're pretty sure it's going nowhere?

Don't be surprised if it takes 20 matches (or more) before you find the 'one'. From reading these forums, your odds may be even slimmer. So explain how your odds increase if you closeout a match after only 2 weeks of no communication.
 
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Iconography is offline Iconography Post #9  October 27,2009, 8:20am
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If there wasn't something substantively "wrong" with his profile, and it was just a matter of the lack of reply, I'd definitely re-open. I tend not to close, in fact, for lack of reply, unless I start to have second thoughts for other reasons. (This happened once.)
 
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pussinboots is offline pussinboots Post #10  October 27,2009, 9:07am
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BrickWallsBreak and tweet37, I tend to agree with both of you depending on what is happening in my social life.

BWB, when nothing at the moment is happening, I tend to ruthlessly close matches who have been hanging around for a while doing absolutely nothing beyond an occasional view.

t37, when I went on eH dates with two matches two weekends in a row this month - not even close to being in a relationship as you are, but maybe you understand this way of thinking - I was closing almost no one.

As I've said before everyone on eH does what works or hopes will work for them. Also prior experience on eH does go a lot into their way of thinking.
 
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