Dont get why some people join e harm if they arent looking for a relationship?


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Lula11 is offline Lula11 Post #1  October 26,2009, 3:06pm
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So I recently met this guy from this site, things were goin well with the messaging then next thing you know, we finally meet eachother. The whole extent of our "relationship" from start to finish was about 2 months..At first things went great he was telling me how he liked me and so on. (the list goes on)..But near the end of it, I started feelin like something was up with him, such as he wasnt that into this anymore...Than I finally asked him what was up, he pretty much says that hes not looking for a relationship because he doesnt want to deal with anyone and put potential stress to his life....So okay, fair enough I suppose...BUT why tell someone from the start that you "wouldnt minda having a gf" but in the end not want one after all? Or maybe just doesnt want one with me...??

Anyway would like to hear some your opinions on this =)
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #2  October 26,2009, 3:26pm
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honey, he just means he doesn't want a relationship with you.

this sucks, i know, but at least it was only 2 months. don't take it too personally.
 
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spawnchick is offline spawnchick Post #3  October 26,2009, 3:49pm
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Sounds like this guy maybe got cold feet, or he really didn't expect to meet anyone. I agree, this is a websight for people who are looking for a life partner. And for some of us it's very important. So, I wonder, what type of questions are out their that would weed out the so called lookyloos.
 
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Benevolence32 is offline Benevolence32 Post #4  October 26,2009, 4:14pm
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90 day rule anyone?
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #5  October 26,2009, 5:38pm
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I am sure that there are a lot of people out there that want a relationship theoretically.

When push comes to shove though not all of them are going to be able to deal with comingling & the inherent loss of freedom.

You have to be willing to give & some people are not willing.
 
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CapnCrunch23 is offline CapnCrunch23 Post #6  October 26,2009, 7:17pm

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Lula11 wrote :
But near the end of it, I started feelin like something was up with him, such as he wasnt that into this anymore...Then I finally asked him what was up.
In my opinion, you did the right thing in asking him. I've read many posts here that seem to frown on asking direct questions.

I think the other posters answered with the most logical choices. All of which I agree with. Pick one! Doesn't really matter though

I would be glad this happened now and not six or twelve months from now. You were given an answer and any answer is better than him just pulling a dissappearing act. I also wouldn't let it bother me too much. Anyone that is so worried a relationship is "potential stress". Doesn't seem like LTR material. Having a caring, loving partner to lean on also help's to relieve any stress in our lives.

I wouldn't be too concerned with a reason for his actions. Get back up on the horse and find a man that is looking for a relationship.
Last edited by CaptCrunch23; October 26,2009 at 7:29pm.
 
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MicMan is offline MicMan Post #7  October 27,2009, 5:28am
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bigfincat wrote :
I am sure that there are a lot of people out there that want a relationship theoretically.

When push comes to shove though not all of them are going to be able to deal with comingling & the inherent loss of freedom.

You have to be willing to give & some people are not willing.
Yup, I think there are people that like the idea of being in a relationship, but they also don't want to take the time and effort to go through with it.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #8  October 27,2009, 5:58am
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Whenever someone says that, it's an incomplete sentence - the ending is "with you". So unfortunately he got to know you over those two months and decided that you are not right for him. It sucks when it happens but it happens. Dust yourself off and move on. As others said, at least it only took 2 months instead of 2 years for him to come to that conclusion.
 
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