I called him by the wrong name! Help!


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teacher22 is offline teacher22 Post #1  October 21,2009, 9:34pm
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I'm wondering what you would do if you were this match, and also if there's anything I can do for this situation...

I was in the last step of guided communication before open communication with a guy who seems truly amazing. Everything he's written has been what I'm looking for and I was really excited about the possibility of moving onto open communication to get to know him better. He answered my second questions beautifully, and I put a lot of thought into answering his. I looked over my responses and even read them aloud to make sure I didn't have any little mistakes. Then I pressed send. Well, as I re-read them after I'd sent them, I realized I started out my response to the first question calling him by the wrong name! To make it worse, the name I called him by is the name of a match I had just CLOSED prior to responding to his questions... it wasn't even as though I was thinking of getting to know this other match. He hasn't closed me yet... but let's be honest- if you were called the wrong name... would you?

So, two questions: 1- If someone answered your questions by saying "Hi (then calling you by the wrong name)! Would you close them?
2- Is there anything I can do- any way to send him a message or something apologizing sincerely for my mistake? I'm pretty sure there's not, but just checking...

I'm pretty upset with myself and very embarrased, and I think I might have just blown it with him...
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #2  October 22,2009, 6:58am
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I think if you've both answered 2nd questions, you've reached Open Communication, right? So either of you can now send a message? Send one! Tell him what happened and how horrified you were when you realized what you'd done! Hopefully it will be a fun story to tell, about how you met, down the line!
 
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KungFuFtr is offline KungFuFtr Post #3  October 22,2009, 7:22am
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teacher22 wrote :
I'm wondering what you would do if you were this match, and also if there's anything I can do for this situation...

I was in the last step of guided communication before open communication with a guy who seems truly amazing. Everything he's written has been what I'm looking for and I was really excited about the possibility of moving onto open communication to get to know him better. He answered my second questions beautifully, and I put a lot of thought into answering his. I looked over my responses and even read them aloud to make sure I didn't have any little mistakes. Then I pressed send. Well, as I re-read them after I'd sent them, I realized I started out my response to the first question calling him by the wrong name! To make it worse, the name I called him by is the name of a match I had just CLOSED prior to responding to his questions... it wasn't even as though I was thinking of getting to know this other match. He hasn't closed me yet... but let's be honest- if you were called the wrong name... would you?

So, two questions: 1- If someone answered your questions by saying "Hi (then calling you by the wrong name)! Would you close them?
2- Is there anything I can do- any way to send him a message or something apologizing sincerely for my mistake? I'm pretty sure there's not, but just checking...

I'm pretty upset with myself and very embarrased, and I think I might have just blown it with him...
If someone called me the wrong name I wouldn't close them. I would call them on their mistake and playfully tease the hell out of them though
I guess you could request open communication if you wanted to apologize.
 
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Ephemera is offline Ephemera Post #4  October 22,2009, 7:48am
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This is exactly why I call everyone 'Baby'; men, women, children, dogs, cats, chocolate, beer.
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #5  October 22,2009, 8:01am
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The most you can do is try to explain, and hope he understands.....

During my first marriage, my Mother-in-Law frequently called me by my husband's first wife's name. I always answered, because I knew she meant me. It amused us both very much! It's still funny when I think how often she did it.....

Later during my second marriage, a few times I called him by the first husband's name. I don't think he thought it was funny at all.

It happens to the best of us. Maybe even him.
 
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KungFuFtr is offline KungFuFtr Post #6  October 22,2009, 8:01am
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Ephemera wrote :
This is exactly why I call everyone 'Baby'; men, women, children, dogs, cats, chocolate, beer.

"Beer"
Haha... too good. I usually pet mine when the waitress brings it.
 
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Lookingandlooking is offline Lookingandlooking Post #7  October 22,2009, 6:00pm
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Don't overexplain it- just say you realized that you typed the wrong name - and leave it at that. Hopefully he'll have a sense of humor about it...
 
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teacher22 is offline teacher22 Post #8  October 22,2009, 7:36pm
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I can't request open communication- only he can. For those of you not familiar with e-harmony's process, he reads the answers to my second questions and then he decides whether to initiate open communication. He has the power here to start open communication, not me. He hasn't closed me yet and it's been a day, but then again, he may have not read his responses yet. I'm still crossing my fingers he's able to look past it at least until open communication so I can then apologize
Last edited by teacher22; October 23,2009 at 7:57pm.
 
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aandruss is offline aandruss Post #9  October 22,2009, 8:13pm
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You can request to fast track and tell him if you really wanted to apologize right away.
 
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EMTZ is offline EMTZ Post #10  October 22,2009, 8:51pm
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Ephemera wrote :
This is exactly why I call everyone 'Baby'; men, women, children, dogs, cats, chocolate, beer.
Your CEO?
 
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