Given some of your other comments, I am wondering what it means to look "overly independent" in a profile. Does that mean having a great job and no children, which are the opposite of two things you decry? It would seem that to meet all of the rest of the criteria you set forth, a black woman would have to pretty much walk on water. Does that standard apply to every one? Because honestly, having received a good 4000 matches over the years, not half of them -- and that's with most of them being white men -- measure up to your list. FWIW, I have found black men the least likely to post photos (and for a while I kept track). So maybe some problem streets run two ways. I think that reflects on those people as individuals, however, and wouldn't assume anything about how likely it makes the men that do post photos to find what they are looking for.

I think Sexy (and many other women) should take a pass on assuming that the problem is necessarily her profile or her need to "step up her game." Then again, I'm mighty independent, or at least have high self-esteem. On the other hand, some of her criteria might be worth re-considering. As one suggestion for Sexy, I recognize that we can't always control who we are attracted to, but I would worry a lot less about height if possible. At 5'4, 5'6 seems ok to me, and would open up the numbers tremendously. I am 5'8, hardly a giant, but it is hard to find men taller than I am, and I decided long ago I don't really care. I have noticed that a good number of the men with quality personalities are my height or shorter, and a few extra inches of torso never led to a better conversation in my experience.

I think the reasons it can be hard to find a match are complicated and nuanced. But I absolutely think it is hardest of all for black women to find dates everywhere, and that includes on eHarmony. That doesn't mean impossible, but numbers don't lie. Cocacola's stats are very telling, and reflect my experience on Match.com. I was amazed, but not too surprised, how many men of all kinds of backgrounds would indicate their willingness to date women of all ethnicities....except black women. They put it on their profiles. What did shock me was when such men would initiate communication with me anyhow. I sometimes asked them why, and conveyed my offense at their list of preferences. Their attitude pretty much was that they generally were not interested in black women, but were willing to "make exceptions". That went over great with me, let me tell you. And sometimes I suspect that's the reason behind some of the closings I get here, even though there's no way for them to tell me that (and I don't know if they would have the guts to say it if they could). I think all ANYONE can do is accept that this is a tough process, many people have obstacles to overcome in seeking love, and try to have enough fulfilling things things in their lives to not let this worry take over.

I truly wish the site owners cared enough to invest in a quality marketing campaign targeted to various kinds of diversity. There are plenty of other "dating sites", but this one sets itself apart as being geared to the commitment-minded. I think people of all backgrounds could appreciate that if they felt they would find a decent sized community here.

I find neosoul's stereotyping of all African-American women more than a little disturbing and probably part of the reason why a negative perception is created of black women.
I know a fair share of black women on this site that are the complete opposite of his description and have great success on the this site in a fairly short amount of time. So by no means is his experience representative of the general population of black women on this site. Now I will slowly back away from further commentary...

I am an African American woman. When I joined, I indicated that I had no racial preferences and my age preferences skewed a little younger than myself (I stated that I was willing to date men up to ten years younger than myself). I was never matched up with any younger men (they were always at least five years older than me), nor was I matched with any Asians or Latinos. I sometimes got the impression that EH matching systems were just never programed to do any inter-racial matching beyond the standard black/white; or is it that there are few Asians or Latino(a)s who use EH.

I think I do remember an African American couple that was featured several years back and there was one Asian/White inter-racial couple featured recently. Ultimately, I think that EH needs to aim for greater diversity in their advertising campaigns. We need to see some couples who are older than thirty, who don't meet the mainstream standards of beauty, who are something other than Caucasian, and yes, a few more inter-racial couples would be nice as well.

Fortunately, I met someone in a social setting so my issues with EH are now moot. But I would have to say that I hope that the orignial poster is not relying solely on EH to find suitable men to date.

I am African American and new to EH. I have received a lot of matches but most I assume are not paying customers because they do not respond to first set of questions. I receive more responses from white men than black men. I have been in communications with two black men and neither seemed like starting a relationship was on the top of their list. I don't understand why some people are on this site because I have run across some men looking for a "casual" relationship. I thought everyone on this site would be looking for a long term relationship but that is not the case. I can see from of the comments posted to your thread, some people are unrealistic in what they expect to find on this site. It's like I paid my money now give me my soul mate like they just "bought" a person. I am being more open to other races because they way things are going I don't think my "husband" will be a black man. I'm sorry to say the other races seemed to be more open and are actually looking for a person to grow with instead of a perfectly made woman to feel some man's fantasy. Good look girlfriend!