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whatalife1683 whatalife1683 is offline
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One thing you might consider is broaden your distance. I live in Southern California, and I get more diversity from my matches; than someone who may live in Idaho or Maine. My ex girlfriend moved back to Nebraska after she left me. She tried Eharmony, but she prefer black guys more than white. She is a white lady, and she does not get any matches who are black. I am satisfied with finding matches on this site. At least on this site, you can put ethnicity as important r whatever. On other sites, it can be brutal for black people. Especially, if that person wants to date another ethnicity. I been told on other sites that I look like the sterotypical black thug hahaha. I put in my Eharmony profile; I wish people would not fit me with the negative sterotype. I imply I am so camera shy, and I dress nice usually. I know some are amazed when I tell them I have a BA in Psychology, and I will be working towards my Master's. I think more can be done to expand diveristy to this site, but I can say it is better than some of the other non-paying sites.
- October 16th, 2009, 12:24 pm
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sexyme13 wrote :
This is a very honest heartfelt question....does eharmony work for Black women? It seems to me that only success stories I see are from nice, decent looking to very attractive Caucasian people. I see quite a few interracial couples (Black men and and other races other than Black, which is fine.) and I'm not saying that there are'nt any matches or success stories, I just havent heard of many or seen them on here...maybe 3...

But I am not convinced at this point that this site works for a Black women. I haven't communicated with anyone since I have been on here, which has been 6 months...I do have my options open to other races and still nothing...majority of my matches are from people who aren't paying members, matches of Black men are very slim, and with those few, there isn't any chemistry for me....and there are a lot of matches I receive of White men, and sometimes it's the same thing or the match is closed. I am an attractive woman with good qualities...but I am starting to think I am wasting my time and money. Maybe this site isn't structured for me as a Black woman...
So, I was just wonder if I could get some feed back to if there have been some nice match ups, communications or even dates for Black women on eharmony...just to get some insight, before I cancel my time here.
Please someone help me out...give me some good news, prove me wrong! Lol!
Hi sexyme13,

I am very happy to see that you have gotten quite a few responses to your inquiry and that, as you shared with varnold, you are trying to be optimistic!

I must say I am concerned that you say you haven't communicated with anyone in 6 months. If that is the case, the first thing I recommend is that you review your About Me page and photos to make sure they are presenting you in the best, most effective way possible. If you need feedback regarding your About Me page, I encourage you to take advantage of the Profile Workshops available here on eHarmony Advice. Also, many articles/discussions regarding the best photos to post are also available on our site.

Next I wanted to ask if you've been willing to communicate with the majority of your matches and are you making the most of your search by initiating communication? Please remember that there is a reason you received each match, and we encourage you to be open-minded and at least do some communicating before deciding that a match absolutely has no potential to be The One.

Of course we know that chemistry is important, but sometimes you really can't know if it's there with a match until you meet them person! Their smile or energy or voice may change your mind about someone you may not have found attractive right away. This has been the experience of some of our successful members, and you can imagine how glad they are that they took a chance and communicated with someone they weren't initially interested in.

So please review your profile and, if you aren't already doing so, I encourage you to communicate with most, if not all, of your matches before closing them.

sexyme13, you mentioned that you haven't heard of or seen may successfully matched Black women; so I wanted to share the following links in the hopes of inspiring you to remain positive during your search:

The first is to a commercial from a past TV campaign featuring Traci and her husband Jeremy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2k28rM-pGrU&NR=1

The following are just a few of the stories I found on our Success Stories page.

Teneise and Hassan from Philadelphia, PA, were married October 9th, 2008: http://www.eharmony.com/success/stories/nearly-gave-up/1293
Wilma and Roosevelt from Greenville, GA, were married May 16th, 2009: http://www.eharmony.com/success/stories/diversity/1623
Chandra and Brian from Pontiac, MI, were engaged February 15th, 2009: http://www.eharmony.com/success/stories/diversity/1589
Juanita and Ralph from Vienna, VA, were engaged June 5th, 2009: http://www.eharmony.com/success/stories/science-of-love/1943

Also, please keep in mind that the couples featured in our TV ads and on our Success Stories page are couples who were willing to share their story with others. There are many, many eHarmony couples who don't wish to have their story featured. So broad assumptions about the type of members who are successful on our site shouldn't be made simply from the members who allow us to share their stories with others.

I hope that my suggestions and these links will help you have a more positive eHarmony experience.

All the best,

-Renee
eHarmony Advice Host
- October 16th, 2009, 04:21 pm
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ming_on_mongo ming_on_mongo is offline
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Fair enough, Renee. Although when there are entire websites devoted to how much they hate all the "Joshua & Tanyalee" TV ads, perhaps it's at least one clue that eH Marketing needs to be thinking about some other alternatives (& faces).
- October 16th, 2009, 04:58 pm
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eH_Advice_Host_Renee eH_Advice_Host_Renee is offline
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ming_on_mongo wrote :
Fair enough, Renee. Although when there are entire websites devoted to how much they hate all the "Joshua & Tanyalee" TV ads, perhaps it's at least one clue that eH Marketing needs to be thinking about some other alternatives (& faces).
Hi ming_on_mongo,

Hey, FYI, earlier this month we introduced some new TV commercials on our blog. Not sure how much longer the Joshua & Tanyalee ads will be running, but I hope you'll find comfort in knowing that we are working on new commercials!

http://www.eharmony.com/blog/2009/10/02/meet-our-new-commercial-couples/

All the best,

-Renee
eHarmony Advice Host
- October 16th, 2009, 06:23 pm
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ming_on_mongo ming_on_mongo is offline
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eH_Advice_Host_Renee wrote :
Hi ming_on_mongo,

Hey, FYI, earlier this month we introduced some new TV commercials on our blog. Not sure how much longer the Joshua & Tanyalee ads will be running, but I hope you'll find comfort in knowing that we are working on new commercials!

http://www.eharmony.com/blog/2009/10/02/meet-our-new-commercial-couples/

All the best,

-Renee
eHarmony Advice Host
Thanks, that's great! Although too bad both couples are still white (but what the heck, at least they're not "Joshua & Tanyalee", who seemed to annoy alot of folks for some reason)!

BTW, they'll probably catch it later, but note the typo where Sam signs his account of giving Debbie a ring, with the name "Pam".

Although dunno, maybe that's just how you guys are "testing the waters" for future acceptance of the "gay" thang....!
- October 16th, 2009, 06:50 pm
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ming_on_mongo wrote :
Thanks, that's great! Although too bad both couples are still white (but what the heck, at least they're not "Joshua & Tanyalee", who seemed to annoy alot of folks for some reason)!

BTW, they'll probably catch it later, but note the typo where Sam signs his account of giving Debbie a ring, with the name "Pam".

Although dunno, maybe that's just how you guys are "testing the waters" for future acceptance of the "gay" thang....!
Hi ming_on_mongo,

Glad you checked out the new commercials!

I can certainly understand why you thought "Pam" was a typo, but that is actually the name of the eHarmony staff who posted the blog!

Thanks, though, for bringing it to my attention. If it had been an error, I could have let the powers-that-be know!

-Renee
eHarmony Advice Host
- October 16th, 2009, 06:59 pm
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PR_Princess PR_Princess is offline
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I feel your pain sexyme13...as a given my choices are going to be limited due to my background but it is a bit disheartening that when I did get a match with my ethnic background his profile was really out there How can you call yourself a Muslim and be interested in the occult?
I wasn't terribly impressed with the African-American brother who put in his profile (twice) that he wanted a woman with real hair.For anyone who doesn't understand out there...this means he didn't want a weave. Reminded me of the time I went to the prom and some girl made a snide comment as I passed because she thought I had hair extensions!
I agree that they should give us the heads up when a person is a non-member but you can pretty much figure that out from the terrible way they fill out their profile. Thank goodness they wouldn't even bother to purchase the new profile tweaking service as they show no sincere motivation or energy to put into a real relationship. Don't be discouraged...even though there are mostly Christian people here to share my pain and insight with...at least they are sensitive, intelligent and candid and better company than my so called the "brothers" and "sisters" of faith in my community. And one day that special brother is going to come into my life and that means I am going to have to really get this body in shape if I am ever going to be a good candidate for those EH commercials
- October 17th, 2009, 04:56 am
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sexyme13 sexyme13 is offline
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eH_Advice_Host_Renee wrote :
Hi sexyme13,

I am very happy to see that you have gotten quite a few responses to your inquiry and that, as you shared with varnold, you are trying to be optimistic!

I must say I am concerned that you say you haven't communicated with anyone in 6 months. If that is the case, the first thing I recommend is that you review your About Me page and photos to make sure they are presenting you in the best, most effective way possible. If you need feedback regarding your About Me page, I encourage you to take advantage of the Profile Workshops available here on eHarmony Advice. Also, many articles/discussions regarding the best photos to post are also available on our site.

Next I wanted to ask if you've been willing to communicate with the majority of your matches and are you making the most of your search by initiating communication? Please remember that there is a reason you received each match, and we encourage you to be open-minded and at least do some communicating before deciding that a match absolutely has no potential to be The One.

Of course we know that chemistry is important, but sometimes you really can't know if it's there with a match until you meet them person! Their smile or energy or voice may change your mind about someone you may not have found attractive right away. This has been the experience of some of our successful members, and you can imagine how glad they are that they took a chance and communicated with someone they weren't initially interested in.

So please review your profile and, if you aren't already doing so, I encourage you to communicate with most, if not all, of your matches before closing them.

sexyme13, you mentioned that you haven't heard of or seen may successfully matched Black women; so I wanted to share the following links in the hopes of inspiring you to remain positive during your search:

The first is to a commercial from a past TV campaign featuring Traci and her husband Jeremy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2k28rM-pGrU&NR=1

The following are just a few of the stories I found on our Success Stories page.

Teneise and Hassan from Philadelphia, PA, were married October 9th, 2008: http://www.eharmony.com/success/stories/nearly-gave-up/1293
Wilma and Roosevelt from Greenville, GA, were married May 16th, 2009: http://www.eharmony.com/success/stories/diversity/1623
Chandra and Brian from Pontiac, MI, were engaged February 15th, 2009: http://www.eharmony.com/success/stories/diversity/1589
Juanita and Ralph from Vienna, VA, were engaged June 5th, 2009: http://www.eharmony.com/success/stories/science-of-love/1943

Also, please keep in mind that the couples featured in our TV ads and on our Success Stories page are couples who were willing to share their story with others. There are many, many eHarmony couples who don't wish to have their story featured. So broad assumptions about the type of members who are successful on our site shouldn't be made simply from the members who allow us to share their stories with others.

I hope that my suggestions and these links will help you have a more positive eHarmony experience.

All the best,

-Renee
eHarmony Advice Host
Well, I was advised by customer service to redo the questionnaire, due to the fact that it had been updated in the last year or so...so I did that and also went over my About Me page...and I was told that is was really and also that my pics were great, and I have been told that by more than one person on your staff...so I don't know...

And yes I am making good use of all my matches ( I think, ha!)....I am open to matches threw out the country and different races....but majority of them are non paying customer, with horrible and incomplete profiles...they dont even care to complete nor, are there pics posted. Why should I have to ask someone for a photo when mine is already there? I believe it should be a equal plain for me. Then the few Black matches I get, they are never my type, the interest and chemistry is never there...profile doesn't match me at all. Then there is another thing, and this is no offense to anyone, but it is just personal preference for me, just like I'm not going to be every mans type, for whatever reason...but I get men that are very short ALL THE TIME, they are maybe a couple inches taller then me...and I am 5'4, so there that is there. But the ones that I am interested in, I send my questions and they never respond, so I end up closing the match after about a couple of weeks. Then I get a lot of White matches and then it is sort of the same thing, no interest or chemistry there or the ones I am interested in, just end up closing before any communication is made. And I do understand there maybe a major possibility when dating outside of ones race, there is definitely a certain type their looking for...soooooo maybe I am not the type of Black woman that most White men are looking for. Go figure! Lol!
- October 17th, 2009, 12:08 pm
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eH_Advice_Host_Renee eH_Advice_Host_Renee is offline
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Dear sexyme13,

I'm glad that you reached out to Customer Care and that you retook the questionnaire. Even though our agents gave you good feedback on your profile, it can't hurt to get some feedback from actual eHarmony members; so you may want to check out the Profile Workshops any way!

Like I mentioned in my previous post, we know chemistry is important to many members and photo's help you get a sense whether chemistry is possible with a match. While we encourage members to focus on their matches' internal qualities because they are the ones proven to sustain successful, long-term relationships, if you aren't open to communicating with a match who hasn't posted a photo, I want to encourage you not to close them out too soon.

For many reasons, it can take members a little time to post photos to their profile. I recommend that you send them a photo nudge and wait at least 7 days before closing the match. We know you want to find that special match as soon as possible and being patient with the process can be hard. But being patient has its rewards and you don't want to lose out on the opportunity to meet someone special by closing the match too soon.

Also, your reluctance to communicate with someone you feel is not "your type" from their About Me page and photo is one shared with other members. However, just a few weeks ago, Mom2aJellybean shared on our Advice Success Stories forum that she and her husband were hesitant about communicating based on each other's profile, but "figured what harm could come from talking?"

Well, not only was there no harm, but they now have a little girl and just celebrated their 3rd wedding anniversary!

I hope the links I provided gave you some inspiration and that you may consider giving matches who aren't your type a chance. After all, what's the harm in talking?

All the best,

-Renee
eHarmony Advice Host
- October 17th, 2009, 03:08 pm
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Wonderwoman402 Wonderwoman402 is offline
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I can only answer from my perspective, but as a white woman I didn't meet ANYONE off of eHarmony in the first 12 months of membership. Not even one phone call! I went non-paying for a month or so, then signed up for 3 more months. I met two guys in the first of those 3 months. Great guys.... didn't work out. Now I'm in a position where I haven't received a match of a paying member in nearly a month.

Your experience may, or may not, be a result of race. It doesn't necessarily work for white people, either.
- October 17th, 2009, 03:58 pm
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