Why are these questions included?


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Oregon_Coast_Guy is offline Oregon_Coast_Guy Post #1  October 13,2009, 4:22pm
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I'm interested why eHarmony includes these questions in those set of open-ended questions before reaching OC:

Tonight you can do anything you want, no penalties, no reprisals, and the cost is unimportant. What are you going to do?

Describe the worst date you've ever been on.

What is it that one is trying to find out about the other person by including these questions?

I, personally, don't have much desire to do anything that would get me into trouble to begin with.

And what business is it of the person to know at this stage what their match's worst date?

(Note: I was recently given these questions. I answered the first one by saying I didn't care for the question, and answered the second one by the truth: going on a date where her younger brother came as a chaperone. Luckily this person closed me).

So, I'm looking for insight as to the reasons these questions are included. Or if you are a person that asks these questions, why?
 
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melman is offline melman Post #2  October 13,2009, 5:56pm
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Of course I have no idea why these questions are in the list.

But did you really - really - answer "I don't care for that question." ??? What kind of message does that send back to the asker?

Even if that's what you are thinking, there is no reason to in effect stick your tongue out at the person. You can try to show humor or anything - anything - to generate interest in the other person. If you're going to say "I don't care for the question", you might as well just close the match.
 
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yoga_gal is offline yoga_gal Post #3  October 13,2009, 6:21pm
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OCG

Not sure why there these questions on there as they are not my favorite questions either. When I get them I just try to use them as a way to show I have a sense of humor. I think the bad date question can be tricky because you don't want to be too negative -just funny.

THe thing that amuses me about the first question you mentioned is that part about no reprisals. It makes it sounds like you are going to pick something criminal to do!
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  October 13,2009, 6:27pm
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I don't like the "Tonight ..." question but have been asked it several times. However, can imagine that how someone answers this question could reveal a bit about their personality.

I have never been asked the "worst date" question and don't have a good clue what that could reveal.

I ask the same 5 First Questions of each match. Yes, there are "correct" answers to each one. I do know that some people ask 5 First Questions simply to get through GC and it does not matter what their match puts down. I got into a discussion of my First Questions with a match and when I explained why I asked each question and that there were correct answers and wrong answers her eyes got really big.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  October 13,2009, 6:34pm
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yoga_gal wrote :
OCG

Not sure why there these questions on there as they are not my favorite questions either. When I get them I just try to use them as a way to show I have a sense of humor. I think the bad date question can be tricky because you don't want to be too negative -just funny.

The thing that amuses me about the first question you mentioned is that part about no reprisals. It makes it sounds like you are going to pick something criminal to do!
Let me give you a different perspective on the "no reprisals" part. Suppose your match is very much a saver (put cheapskate in here if you want), you answer that you would do something that would cost a lot of money, fly to Paris for dinner for example. At the stage of asking First Questions on eHarmony then you may get closed for your answer because of a difference in personality. However supposed that you two were married the reprisal could be a divorce. Certainly nothing criminal with flying to Paris for dinner, though it may not be a very prudent thing for anyone with less money than Bill Gates
 
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EMTZ is offline EMTZ Post #6  October 13,2009, 6:39pm
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I used to ask the "Tonight" question because I wanted to know how creative and/or imaginative someone could be.
 
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melman is offline melman Post #7  October 13,2009, 6:45pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
I ask the same 5 First Questions of each match. Yes, there are "correct" answers to each one.
How mechanical of you. Doesn't it occur to you to choose questions that play off the content of the profile (hers or yours)? Simply asking the same questions of each match and imagining that "right" answers exist is awfully intolerant.

wrote :
I got into a discussion of my First Questions with a match and when I explained why I asked each question and that there were correct answers and wrong answers her eyes got really big.
See above.
 
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GEF2 is offline GEF2 Post #8  October 13,2009, 8:11pm
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Oregon_Coast_Guy wrote :
I'm interested why eHarmony includes these questions in those set of open-ended questions before reaching OC:

Tonight you can do anything you want, no penalties, no reprisals, and the cost is unimportant. What are you going to do?

Describe the worst date you've ever been on.

What is it that one is trying to find out about the other person by including these questions?


I, personally, don't have much desire to do anything that would get me into trouble to begin with.

And what business is it of the person to know at this stage what their match's worst date?

(Note: I was recently given these questions. I answered the first one by saying I didn't care for the question, and answered the second one by the truth: going on a date where her younger brother came as a chaperone. Luckily this person closed me).

So, I'm looking for insight as to the reasons these questions are included. Or if you are a person that asks these questions, why?

I hate those questions. That's why I prefer fast track. I'd much rather 'talk' with someone thru email and ask my own questions. Its more like a real conversation and I think that you can get a better sense of the other person that way.
 
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pussinboots is offline pussinboots Post #9  October 13,2009, 8:37pm
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melman and Gr8Guyn2008, you BOTH missed the point that we're talking about the last three questions, not the first five!
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #10  October 13,2009, 9:55pm
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Personally, I love the "tonight" question!

As EMTZ says, it's a good way to get a sense of whether someone is creative and imaginative. The question isn't asking people to say what they would do that they would normally get in trouble for if they did it in real life. Although some people might respond with an answer that involves illegal (or immoral) behavior, eliciting that is not the purpose of the question.
 
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