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johnsmith3487 johnsmith3487 is offline
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I'm new to eHarmony, so I'm not sure how this whole system works, but I'm not impressed so far. Each morning I wake up and check my email, and there are between 5 and 8 new matches. And each day I try to initiate communication with at least half of them, but I wait until the end of the day to do so, so as not to seem too jumpy. Between last Wednesday and today, I have initiated communication with at least 16 matches and none have answered my 5 questions. Also, I only get about 1 view per day, and none of them were from the matches that I was most interested in.

I don't understand why there is so little activity among my matches. I could understand if they viewed my profile, then sat on the decision to respond/close for a week. But most of them just never even looked. I find it hard to believe that so many of my matches went on vacation at the same time. Are they expired or free-trial members or something? Did I give eHarmony $100 to match me up with a bunch of people that I'll never be able to talk to? This is so frustrating, because a lot of them are really cute and have great profiles... I want to talk to someone, not log on to see the same damned "Waiting for her answers" screen every day...
- October 6th, 2009, 10:39 pm
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organizedmayhem organizedmayhem is offline
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organizedmayhem Hanging in there

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Darlin' this has been an ongoing issue... you can find many threads regarding this very subject. As it happens, somewhere around 90% of the people we are matched with are non-subscribing members, which means they cannot communicate with us. Lovely eh?
- October 6th, 2009, 10:47 pm
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johnsmith3487 johnsmith3487 is offline
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Okay... can I have my $100 back?

How can you even tell if they're non-subscribing though? I just went through and closed out everyone that didn't have a picture and whose profile was incomplete. I now have a whole bunch of closed matches. Awesome.

If someone has relyID or a premium personality profile, that tells me that they are for real right?
Last edited by johnsmith3487; October 7th, 2009 at 08:13 am.
- October 7th, 2009, 08:09 am
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melman melman is offline
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You can't tell who's a paid member and who isn't. All you can tell is who's active (that is, logging in and looking at their matches). But you can be active and paid, or active and unpaid. And unpaid might mean "not paid yet" or "paid but expired". Confused yet?

One way to tell who's active, is to NOT view your new matches until they've viewed you first. When this happens, their status will change from "New" to "1". Of course if we all played this game, then nothing would ever happen... but so few know about this trick that it's safe.

RelyID or any of the other eH add-ons means that they paid... at some point. But again, you don't know if they're currently active.
- October 7th, 2009, 08:36 am
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scarlet13 scarlet13 is offline
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scarlet13 Now is this real enough for you cause blondes here don't jump out of cakes

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it is also possible that the matches you contacted saw something in your profile that turned them off somehow, and that's why they don't want to communicate with you.
- October 7th, 2009, 11:45 am
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Magonagle Magonagle is offline
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Well after reading Johnsmith3487 I don't think I really want to subscrib to eharmoney, it doesn't sound all it's cracked to be if you will excause the expression. and to pay $100.00 dollars for it. maybe he could just stay on this free advise thing they have here and talk to people or find someone that way. thanks for your advise
Magonagle
- October 7th, 2009, 12:50 pm
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johnsmith3487 johnsmith3487 is offline
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scarlet13 wrote :
it is also possible that the matches you contacted saw something in your profile that turned them off somehow, and that's why they don't want to communicate with you.
No, I would be totally okay with that. The problem is that most of them didn't even view my profile. Of the 16 on my list only 3 viewed my profile, and I also have 3 anonymous views. So the other 10 couldn't have seen anything that turned them off, except maybe they can see my profile picture without seeing the profile. But even so, if they aren't interested, why not just close the match? I am just tired of seeing this huge list of people that never reply or view my profile or do anything.

Laaaaaame.

Is match.com any better?
- October 7th, 2009, 01:37 pm
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bclfgrd2 bclfgrd2 is offline
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johnsmith3487 wrote :
No, I would be totally okay with that. The problem is that most of them didn't even view my profile. Of the 16 on my list only 3 viewed my profile, and I also have 3 anonymous views. So the other 10 couldn't have seen anything that turned them off, except maybe they can see my profile picture without seeing the profile. But even so, if they aren't interested, why not just close the match? I am just tired of seeing this huge list of people that never reply or view my profile or do anything.

Laaaaaame.

Is match.com any better?
From my personal experience, not at all. I found it to be worse, and even more of a waste. But then again, hey, maybe it's just me (boy, I hope not...then I'm surely in trouble, lol!).
- October 7th, 2009, 02:04 pm
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DDjr DDjr is offline
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TIME!

Just give it time! You're doing right by contacting your matches.

As indicated above, you might want to have a friend look at your About Me profile, (or post it here for comment).
- October 7th, 2009, 02:26 pm
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Dafearon Dafearon is offline
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Lets look at it from another point of view.

How much are you willing to spend, if you were guaranteed a date? Okay, how about if you were guaranteed a relationship, and then think about guaranteed marriage? Be honest with yourself. How much are these things worth to you?

Second, and this is important. How much is that $100.00 you spent worth to you? If you had that back, what would you do with it instead?

I ask these questions because people need to weigh how much this is worth to them? If they want a quality mate, but they're not willing to put in the time and energy and, unfortunately, resources, to find it, whats the point?

My point is this. If the $100.00 is life and death for you. Break the bank kind of money, then no, you should not have spent it here because this site is not a sure thing. None of these dating sites are. One should approach EH and any other dating site with a huge grain of salt. If the money you are spending is not worth it to you, then dont' subscribe. Spend your money elsewhere. But if you can afford this site, or another site, and you're not really meeting anyone, then give it a shot and see what happens. Worse case scenario, you are in the same position you are at, down a little money, but we've already decided you can afford it, so its not a big deal. But if you did meet someone, you're better off than if you didn't spend the money.

You just don't know. This is an avenue to meet people. That is all. Too many people get upset because they're not getting the perfect match that wants them as soon as they subscribe.
- October 7th, 2009, 03:50 pm
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