What exactly am I getting with eHarmony?


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TammieTX is offline TammieTX Post #11  October 7,2009, 2:53pm
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I hope I don't come across as being out of line for this comment, but if all I wanted to accomplish was meeting a few new people I could have posted a personals ad on Craig's List for free, I wouldn't have spent a small fortune to join a site like eHarmony. I was under the impression that I'd be matched up with people I could view as potential mates, I had no idea I'd receive non-paying members. Now that I think about it, can they actually be considered actual members at all since they haven't paid for the service? If you think about it, you can visit a gym with a friend and you may sign a waiver in case of injury or fill out some kind of visitor card with your basic information, but if you don't pay for a membership you're not a member of that gym. So, if the people we're being sent as potential matches are not actually members of eHarmony based on the non-payment issue, can they actually be used as potential matches at all? Hmmm...
 
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melman is offline melman Post #12  October 7,2009, 3:10pm
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Welcome to the party. Now you know the secret.

Some of us anguished for months not knowing what you know now.
 
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johnsmith3487 is offline johnsmith3487 Post #13  October 7,2009, 3:13pm
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Dafearon wrote :
Lets look at it from another point of view.

How much are you willing to spend, if you were guaranteed a date? Okay, how about if you were guaranteed a relationship, and then think about guaranteed marriage? Be honest with yourself. How much are these things worth to you?

Second, and this is important. How much is that $100.00 you spent worth to you? If you had that back, what would you do with it instead?

I ask these questions because people need to weigh how much this is worth to them? If they want a quality mate, but they're not willing to put in the time and energy and, unfortunately, resources, to find it, whats the point?

My point is this. If the $100.00 is life and death for you. Break the bank kind of money, then no, you should not have spent it here because this site is not a sure thing. None of these dating sites are. One should approach EH and any other dating site with a huge grain of salt. If the money you are spending is not worth it to you, then dont' subscribe. Spend your money elsewhere. But if you can afford this site, or another site, and you're not really meeting anyone, then give it a shot and see what happens. Worse case scenario, you are in the same position you are at, down a little money, but we've already decided you can afford it, so its not a big deal. But if you did meet someone, you're better off than if you didn't spend the money.

You just don't know. This is an avenue to meet people. That is all. Too many people get upset because they're not getting the perfect match that wants them as soon as they subscribe.
The money is not important. It doesn't matter what I would do with the $100 if I had it back. What is important is that I'm paying for a service from a company, and I expect that company to treat me with respect.

Imagine walking into your local grocery store to get a gallon of milk. You walk to the back, grab a gallon, and head up front to pay. You walk up to the clerk and he tells you that you can't just buy that 1 jug, you have to buy 3 months' worth of milk all upfront. "No big deal, I'm going to have to buy all that milk anyway", you say to yourself. You agree to the 3-month plan, and you take your milk home to enjoy a hearty dinner of Coco Puffs and Miller Lite. But alas, upon pouring the milk onto your bowl of chocolatey goodness, you find that it's actually expired! "Oh no!", you shout, while taking a step back in terror. But there's nothing on the label to indicate that it's expired! You sit down for a minute, trying to find a way to deal with the severity of the situation, and thinking this must be some fluke. "Miller Lite without Coco Puffs? No way, it can't be done!" You run out the door and head back to the store to exchange the milk for a fresh gallon. You tell the clerk what happened, trying not to stare at the little horns growing out of his forehead that you somehow missed before. The clerk responds smirkingly, "No problem, buddy! Just head on back to the milk aisle and grab another jug. There's a 90% chance that it's sour, but keep your chin up. If you keep pouring sour milk all over your Puffs, you'll find that fresh jug eventually!" The devil-clerk laughs at your plight, taunting you with images of people enjoying big bowls of Coco Puffs as you walk back towards the milk aisle.

Do you keep going back to that same grocery store, picking up jug after jug of milk hoping to finally find one that isn't expired, or do you demand your money back and go to a better store where all the milk is fresh?

I want my money back not so that I will have $100 more, but so that eHarmony will have $100 less. Hell, I would be happy if they just donated $100 to a charity on my behalf. I don't think eHarmony deserves my $100. I do want to find a good relationship, and I am willing to pay for the service. But if the service doesn't work, then F them, why should they keep my money?

The only possible reason I can see for eHarmony keeping inactive and unpaid people listed is that they want to boost their membership numbers to look bigger than they really are. Lots of organizations do this, especially organizations that lobby congress. Strength in numbers, woo-hoo! But with those organizations, it really doesn't matter to the real members if the ranks are full of people who died 10 years ago and free-trial members that never paid dues. On eHarmony, it does directly affect the paying members. It is clearly an issue, as half of the threads on this board are from people who are very annoyed and feel that they have been mislead by eHarmony.

I was so excited to sign up, and now I'm getting more and more disappointed. We'll see how this next week goes.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Renee is offline eH_Advice_Host_Renee Post #14  October 7,2009, 3:15pm

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Hi Everyone,

Before I address your concerns regarding the lack of communication you are experiencing, johnsmith3487, I have to comment on a "statistic" that has been circulating around the boards lately that 90% of the matches you will receive from eHarmony members are non-paying members. There is no concrete foundation for that statistic! If someone can provide their source for this "statistic," please do so.

While we understand that some members may readily believe this because many of their matches are not communicating with them, as Melman stated, there is no way for you to know the status of a match's eHarmony account. That is, until they begin to communicate with you.

Just because a match isn't communicating does not mean that they aren't a paying member! While we encourage members to communicate with most if not all of their matches; unfortunately, not all members follow that advice. Also, while we inform members that the most courteous thing to do if you aren't interested in communicating with a match is to close the match; unfortunately, not all members not do this.

I have seen too many subscribed member's My Matches page where sometimes there is page after page of matches they have neither communicated with or closed!

johnsmith3487, it is understandable that you are anxious to receive communication from your matches. However, finding your special match on eHarmony does take patience. Has it been more than 7 days since you communicated with a match? If so, click on her name and send her a "Nudge." Then give your match another 7 days to respond before you consider closing the match. This will help you from making the mistake that many returning members say they made the first time on eHarmony -- closing matches too!

Of course, what drives communication is your About Me page and photos. If you haven't answered all the questions or most of your answers are on the sparse side, I encourage you to put some more time in developing your About Me page. Also, photos are an important part of your profile.

To ensure that your profile is all it can be, why not take advantage of the Profile Workshops and photo recommendations here on our Advice site? You can access both from the following links:

http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/da...sted-here.html (eHarmony Profile Workshop Threads (Links listed here))
Dating advice message board

Please understand that, even when you are sure that you have created the best profile, it still does take time to find that special match. The reason we have 3-, 6-, and 12-month subscriptions is because, on average, successful members devoted 6 to 12 months to their search before they were successfully matched!

Also, don't forget that Customer Care is also available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to support your success on our site. Whenever, you have questions or concerns, please make sure to e-mail Customer Care from the Help link located at the bottom of all our Singles site pages or by clicking here: http://help-singles.eharmony.com/.

From the FAQ page, click on any topic, and you will see an e-mail link. Once your e-mail is successfully sent, you will receive a confirmation number, and a Customer Care agent will be glad to follow up with you.

All the best,

-Renee
eHarmony Advice Host
 
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TammieTX is offline TammieTX Post #15  October 7,2009, 3:31pm
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Hi melman,

I'm glad you replied. I've read so many of your posts and I've agreed with all of them so far. I actually started a new thread for my question because I'm hoping someone will either tell my that my way of thinking is incorrect or explain the legalities of eHarmony's idea of membership. I'm an analyst by profession and I can't see how someone who isn't a paying member can be a potential match for me.

Out of curiosity, why do the eHarmony reps continue to despute the "90% of matches aren't members" issues by demanding people prove their statistics by telling them where they got that number, but they can't give us any statistics that prove the number wrong? I realize 90% is probably slightly high, but if they refuse to show proof of what the actual number is, why do they continue to dispute it at all?
 
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melman is offline melman Post #16  October 7,2009, 3:44pm
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Well, the reps have to give the company line. Although I wish it wouldn't read so much like the canned emails that Customer Service sends you when you ask them anything.

I am very, very tired of the company line saying only "please give the process time" [and your money...]. The first two months my three-month membership were just a disaster of a downward spiral, wondering why my matches weren't responding. (These forums did not exist at the time.) If only Customer Service and the Reps here would simply admit that most of your matches are Just Not There, it would prevent a whole lot of anguish.

But they don't.

I think word is getting out (not just here, but in general) that the e-dating services are full of inactive members. Sooner or later, they will have to address this.
 
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charlie990 is offline charlie990 Post #17  October 7,2009, 3:53pm
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TammieTX wrote :
Hi melman,

I'm glad you replied. I've read so many of your posts and I've agreed with all of them so far. I actually started a new thread for my question because I'm hoping someone will either tell my that my way of thinking is incorrect or explain the legalities of eHarmony's idea of membership. I'm an analyst by profession and I can't see how someone who isn't a paying member can be a potential match for me.

Out of curiosity, why do the eHarmony reps continue to despute the "90% of matches aren't members" issues by demanding people prove their statistics by telling them where they got that number, but they can't give us any statistics that prove the number wrong? I realize 90% is probably slightly high, but if they refuse to show proof of what the actual number is, why do they continue to dispute it at all?
Firstly, please remember that eharmony is first and foremost a BUISNESS ..the primary aim of buisness in the USA is to make money .. its basically dishonest to send unsubscribed matches ..but they send am anyway ..keeps the numbers up ... Secondly this is an INTERNET site .. dead easy to look at and respond, so not taken very seriously by many users who are possibly more interested in entertaining themselves than the real work of creting a relationship... 3rd..you are dealing with Human beings who have formidable freedom and a multitude of choices ... the founding "Dr" of eharmony recommends you stay hooked on subscriptions for a minimum if 12 months ... what you are doing (as with ANY dating site) is playing a lottery..there are some winners.. and by following "advice" you may increase your odds..
 
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TammieTX is offline TammieTX Post #18  October 7,2009, 4:03pm
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I understand that, I'm in the same business. I design these sites and applications based on the idea that they will help the company I work for make money, however, I'm not allowed to stretch the truth, mislead anyone or change the law and there's no way on earth we'd be able to take money to do those things. I realize that we live in a country that allows us to make our own decisions, be they good or bad, but most of us here believe that you get what you pay for. If this were a free site, or even a cheap site, I wouldn't be so irritated over feeling misled. I was, and still am, hoping to meet some very nice men but to be honest with you, I've met more on here in the last 20 minutes than I have even had look at my profile on eHarmony. That's left me with a bitter-sweet taste in my mouth.
 
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TammieTX is offline TammieTX Post #19  October 7,2009, 4:13pm
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What kind of evil corporate entity would mess with a man's Coco Puffs?! What's this world coming to?! LOL
 
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johnsmith3487 is offline johnsmith3487 Post #20  October 7,2009, 4:25pm
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charlie990 wrote :
Firstly, please remember that eharmony is first and foremost a BUISNESS ..the primary aim of buisness in the USA is to make money .. its basically dishonest to send unsubscribed matches ..but they send am anyway ..keeps the numbers up ...
That is a horribly short-sighted business model. Scamming is simply not sustainable. I wonder what eHarmony's 5-year plan is...
 
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