timmay2711 is offline timmay2711 Post #1  October 6,2009, 1:56pm
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I just signed up about a week ago and have 18 closed messages out of 40 matches.

Is this standard or abnormal? Thanks...
 
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Flour is offline Flour Post #2  October 6,2009, 3:08pm
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You'll probably close out at least another 20 for being incomplete, so yea.
 
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BuzWeaver is offline BuzWeaver Post #3  October 6,2009, 4:08pm
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I wouldn't sweat it, I have 3,453 closes.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #4  October 6,2009, 5:19pm

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Hi Timmay2711,

Sounds like you’re doing really well, actually! I know it might not feel that way in the midst of it. But if you stick around here and see some other posts (like BuzzWeaver’s!), you’ll see that it might help not to get hung up on numbers – and don’t feel discouraged if you haven’t struck gold just yet.

I had a few thought s that might help since you sound new to the eHarmony matching service. If you are the one who is doing most of the closing, you may want to check in with yourself why you are closing out the matches – is it possible that some of these matches had potential and you closed the match prematurely? Sometimes communicating and getting more information may shed light on a conclusion you may have made about a match too soon. For example, it’s easy to misunderstand a statement on an About Me page. Of if the match is in an undesirable location, maybe they are looking to move. You don’t know until you go further.

At the same time, I just want to note that it’s perfectly legitimate to close a match if it is all too clear that there are deal-breakers as soon as you see their profile.

If you are the one getting closed out by your matches more, you may want to look into your own approach and presentation (not that I’ve seen your profile). We do offer Profile Workshops here in the Using eHarmony forum. If you are interested, you can submit some of your About Me answers for feedback from members of the eHarmony Advice Community. Here’s the link if you’re interested: http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/da...sted-here.html (eHarmony Profile Workshop Threads (Links listed here))

You also may get assistance with settings and feedback from our 24 hours a day, 7 days a week Customer Care team: http://www.help-singles.eharmony.com.

The thing that might encourage you most is that eHarmony is actually designed to be a process of elimination – ultimately, the goal is to find one match that surpasses them all. So having matches behind you only means you are that much closer to the right one.

Good luck, Timmay2711 – I hope you connect with the love of your life soon!

~Kate
eHarmony Advice Host
 
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followmesky is offline followmesky Post #5  October 6,2009, 9:49pm
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timmay2711 wrote :
I just signed up about a week ago and have 18 closed messages out of 40 matches.

Is this standard or abnormal? Thanks...
Yes, it is
 
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