Matching/Flexible Matching-What Criteria?? Confused


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DIVA20011 is offline DIVA20011 Post #1  October 3,2009, 6:46am
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I am new to eHarmony, since July/August this year, and I am totally confused about the matching. I receive lots of matches and I mostly get closed messages. I will keep trying though, however I am confused about the matching/flexible matching and criteria. I am an African American female and have selected various ethnicities for matching. Do my matches do the same and that is why I receive their match profile information?

Also, what is up with the flexible matching. Some of the reasons eHarmony indicates the match was sent was silly, "XXX says his apartment is orderly and neat" or "XXX indicates he would choose Mexican for a night out". There is more to this than just someone having similar selected statements.

It may only be an assumption but I am not sure what these people are looking for. They aren't Brad Pitt or Denzel Washington or Will Smith and I am no Halle Berry or Beyonce. You have to give people a chance. There are people I typically, if I met in person, would NEVER consider, however on here because you get to see more of "who" they are based on their profile if I am interested I say so, however I do not get responses to my communication requests. It is annoying. Just very frustrating but I guess you have to go through a lot of frogs to find that prince .

Any insight will be appreciated. Thanks!
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #2  October 3,2009, 7:13am
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I will address your questions in no particular order.

First most, about 90%, of your matches are going to be non-paying members who can't communicate. Most non-paying members are non-active meaning they will not view or close.

Matching is based on the 29 Dimensions which comes from how you answered all the questions on the Personality Profile Questionnaire. If you did not take your time and carefully consider each question when filling out the Questionnaire then you will likely not get matched to truly compatible people. The Questionnaire measures your values.

All of you matches will meet the 29 Dimensions of compatibility. Then the criteria that you set such as age range drinking, smoking and ethnicity, etc. are then taken into account to match you with people who meet these criteria. The Flexible Matching comes into play based on the Importance settings that you have set for each of these various criteria. As an example say that you only drink a few times a year but you have set the Importance for this setting to be something in the middle of the range. You will then get matches who may have indicated that they drink every day. If you set this to be very important then you would only get matches that match how frequently you drink. To make things more confusing eHarmony does not tell you which setting is the one that you are a Flexible match on.

The little bits of information in the Something to Talk About (apartment is neat ...) are not used for matching. It is just some bits of information that the person has indicated about themselves. As an aside on this it can be an indication that the person is at least active on eHarmony and may be a paying member as this is a relatively new feature and only began a couple of months ago.

Hope this helps.
 
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