Cancelled my eharmony subscription yesterday....


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theatrejunkie1976 is offline theatrejunkie1976 Post #1  September 24,2009, 5:59am

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I have been on eharmony for several years now. I've literally had hundreds of matches and none of them have ever generated a date or a face-to-face meeting. Most have quit communicating midstream or closed me right off the bat.

Last week, I finally received a match within about 30 minutes of my home. We went through all of the stages, talked on yahoo messenger every night for over a week and talked on the phone several times. We agreed to meet for dinner last Saturday. Finally, my first eharmony match that led to a date. I couldn't believe it, lol. We had a good dinner. We talked a lot. He was a gentleman and was full of compliments. We talked about our experiences on eharmony and I told him how he was the first match I had met, despite hundreds of matches. I also told him that I had planned on cancelling my subscription because it had been so unsuccessful. He stated that he was glad that I didn't cancel it before we met. He asked if I'd like to go out again and I agreed. The date ended with a hug. This was Saturday....it is now Thursday and I haven't heard a word from him. I have sent him a couple messages, one of which was through open communication, but have received no response. I don't want to send any more because I don't want to sound desperate or needy, but I would like to know something. I'm defintely not going to sit around waiting on him, but I would just like to know what is going on.

I have met two other matches (from a different site, not eharmony) and the very same thing has happened. We met for dinner and never heard from them again.

So I cancelled my subscription yesterday. I have until October 15 to find another match....lol. I'm not devestated by this, just frustrated. I guess I needed to vent. I don't post much on here but I was just wondering if anyone else out there has had similar experiences.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #2  September 24,2009, 6:17am
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Yes to your question of meeting for dinner and her saying that she is interested in going out again and then I never hear from her again. Happens with nearly everyone of my matches. I have only had one match that actually allowed me to set up a second date at the end of the first.

While I was on eHarmony for 10 months before I got the first date I have had many more (mostly with different matches) since.
 
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Flour is offline Flour Post #3  September 24,2009, 6:24am
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wrote :
I don't want to send any more because I don't want to sound desperate or needy, but I would like to know something. I'm defintely not going to sit around waiting on him, but I would just like to know what is going on.
Hey, this sounds exactly like my current situation, except it hasn't been 3 years =) Good date, *the other person* saying they want to keep in touch, then a week goes by without a word.

Except I paid for a nice lunch, a nice dinner, and drove 2 hours each way, so I probably feel a bit more annoyed...
 
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DWKACH is offline DWKACH Post #4  September 24,2009, 7:16am
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Yep!!! I hear what your saying.....

I have been a member for a few years on Eharmony. After a lot of matches starting to communicate, it abruptly ends. After several years, I had finally got the meeting the other person phase.

We went out for a couple and talked for 3 hours. Even arranged for a second 'date', then, just before we finalized plans. Comm permanetly close, reason other.

I find this aspect of eharmony sucks. A person should have to write a note or something. One of 5 or 6 canned messages is a farce. Then again, I beginning to believe all this 'matchmaker' stuff is hooey!!!

I joined Lifemates 3 years ago, They have yet to generate a match that is close to what we discussed at the meeting for my membership. I meet some nice ladies, but they were so different from me we had no common ground to go beyond one coffee. Go figure, Over 3 grand to get 5 coffee introductions. Garbage!!!

I am begining to believe standing on the side of the freeway with a sign would produce more results than 'matchmakers'. Maybe, I'll go the kennel and get a puppy......

Dave
 
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carose is offline carose Post #5  September 24,2009, 7:49am
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I just let my EH expire and joined Match (three dates in three months but lots of guys ignoring me too.) Now I enjoy the ability to email someone with my own words right from the start. Also, I can search for and pick as many matches to communicate with as I want. And it is true there are sooooo many attractive men... I have had some great communications and one date by the end of the first week. Plus it is about half the cost. I have a renewed hope in finding a great guy this way - but I am not going to write off standing by the side of the road with a sign either!
 
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taurus4ever is offline taurus4ever Post #6  September 24,2009, 8:26am
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I had a similar situation,
I started eharm this past Feb. and was having no luck. A lot of first dates but nothing that resulted in any further communcation, but a lot of closed out matches. I even had one guy that was way too feely:-) apparently my leg had it's own gravitational pull that I was not aware of:-)

I closed my account, had some time still left on it, so I decided not to look at it as much, was about to call and just shut it down ASAP, decided to take one last look and found my current boyfriend. We have been together for about 5 months (next friday), and are planning our future. I almost gave up too, and it would seem that when you stop looking quite so hard, you find what you are searching for. Had I not checked that one last time, I would have missed him completely.
 
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notyet is offline notyet Post #7  September 24,2009, 8:51am
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i have a date tomorrow! if she doesn't cancel...
 
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View is offline View Post #8  September 24,2009, 9:48am
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I would like to say that I felt the same way. I let my subscription exspire for a month. I was communicating with two guys. I sent them a secured call request to call before my subscription ran out to say "If they wanted to call and continue on the phone" I was not going to resubscribe.

They never responded. I resubcsribe for a year. I'm still communocating with the two guys I have not turned on matches yet. I think the first week in October I will turn on matches and go from there. I'll give it a year.


I think if you know what your limits are, you can make the quick decision to decide where your future will go with your matches. I think when other people are involved especially when this will be the one you spend the rest of your life with. You can't be to hastily.


I think if you know how to use eHarmony it can work for you. Remember we are all in this boat together looking for each other.
Last edited by View; September 24,2009 at 9:51am.
 
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gonefishing68 is offline gonefishing68 Post #9  September 24,2009, 12:06pm
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theatrejunkie1976 wrote :
... We had a good dinner. We talked a lot. He was a gentleman and was full of compliments. We talked about our experiences on eharmony and I told him how he was the first match I had met, despite hundreds of matches. I also told him that I had planned on cancelling my subscription because it had been so unsuccessful. He stated that he was glad that I didn't cancel it before we met. He asked if I'd like to go out again and I agreed. The date ended with a hug. This was Saturday....it is now Thursday and I haven't heard a word from him. I have sent him a couple messages, one of which was through open communication, but have received no response. ....
I'm sorry that things didn't work out as you had hoped. Speaking from personal experience and I'm ashamed to admit that I have been guilty of the kind of behaviour that you have described, it was a result of meeting someone on a first date, really liking them but finding that the chemistry was lacking and rather than risk hurting their feelings by saying so, playing along instead till such time as an opportunity for exit presented itself. I now realise how misguided that kind of thinking is and have discovered that its wiser to risk hurting someone's feelings than to not be entirely upfront about your own.

I do hope you have better luck with your next date/s/
 
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shiki is offline shiki Post #10  September 24,2009, 2:38pm
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It’s going to take time to find that right person. As far as this guy you went out with, you said you’ve already sent him messages with no response. He knows you’re there and has your contact information, if he wants to see or talk to you he will make time to call or send you a message. Don’t take it personally and get down about it. If he didn’t feel a connection with you that just keeps you free to find a man who feels that way for you instead of wasting your time.

I also recently let my subscription expire to take a break from dating. I’ve been on eh about 10 months and out of 900+ matches, I’ve had open communication with 5, and went on dates with 4 of them. I do believe in eh and will give it another go when I’m in the mood again. They were all really good dates and in one way or another I was pretty compatible with each of them for different reasons.
 
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