Being judged by profile photos


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VisualFX is offline VisualFX Post #1  September 21,2009, 5:03pm
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I've about had it with people not reading profiles and judging people on photos alone. This isn't just happening on EH, but other online dating websites too. I'm not a bad looking guy, I work out and stay in shape. I actually meet more people in the gym than I have on these websites over the years.

I thought I could meet a quality person here, but I've given up hope. I've talked with a few of my friends who have also tried online dating. We all agreed that American women have too high of standards for their men. They want someone they can take home to their friends to show off like a boy-toy. Hate to break it to you girls, but chances are slim you are going to find someone that look like this or this. Those types of guys in their 30s-40s are not going to be online. They are going to be TAKEN. lol. So I've deleted all my photos. I placed a note in my profile that if someone wants a photo they can contact me after reading my profile. Any other guys have a similar situation occur?
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #2  September 21,2009, 5:08pm
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I took my photos down too because all the women just wanted me for sex.
 
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VisualFX is offline VisualFX Post #3  September 21,2009, 5:15pm
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lol. I've had a few in the gym like that. Maybe I just look better in my Under Armour and need to post some gym pics? But I swear the women online are totally different and very judge"mental". lol.
 
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AsianFusion is offline AsianFusion Post #4  September 21,2009, 6:34pm
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tweet37 wrote :
I took my photos down too because all the women just wanted me for sex.
Are you sure about that? I thought they wanted your money. LOL!
 
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DDjr is offline DDjr Post #5  September 21,2009, 7:01pm
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VFX,

Clearly your post here sounds very bitter. What about your "About Me" profile? Are you coming off the same way? That's going to drive women much faster than the fact that you are a purple alien!

What kind of pictures did you have posted? Did you have a female friend look at them and see what she thinks?

How tall are you?

Do you know that the success ratio here (for both men and women) is VERY LOW! (My first page of matches (40!) are all matches that I have sent (Short Answer) questions to but they have not answered!)
 
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CapnCrunch23 is offline CapnCrunch23 Post #6  September 21,2009, 7:16pm

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VisualFX wrote :
I've about had it with people not reading profiles and judging people on photos alone..
Any other guys have a similar situation occur?
Hey.. I know what you mean. Everyone's initial reaction to not getting responses from online dating is that people are shallow. I'm not saying that there aren’t shallow people out there. But if you stick on these boards long enough you will read many posts from women that confirm that the pictures do not mean everything. Women actually do read your profile. Other than some sites that offer email read notification there is really no way to know if a person has or has not actually read your profile.

[COLOR=black]
Last edited by CaptCrunch23; September 21,2009 at 7:28pm.
 
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melcalrrt is offline melcalrrt Post #7  September 21,2009, 10:09pm
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I know what you mean by how one presents oneself in photos. I had a match, the guy wasn't all that unfortunate in the looks department. He had a photo of himself in a restaurant with a HUGE plate of food in front of him sloppy ribs and fries holding a HUGE beer. It was just a turn off. Sorry guys. I like to eat believe me I can put food away but I'm not going to post a photo here of me eating an entire pizza.
 
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stillhopeful629 is offline stillhopeful629 Post #8  September 21,2009, 11:14pm
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I have two comments on this one.

First of all, how do you know girls are immediately closing a match just because of your photo. For me, its really the whole feel of a guys profile. What kind of pictures are posted? If a guy has a picture of himself having fun, hanging out with friends, traveling, etc., I'm much more interested then if he's got a self portrait of himself, shirtless, flexing his bicep, with a "tough guy" expression on his face (yes, it happens). And we all make a few typos here and there, but a profile riddled with spelling a grammar mistakes is a huge turnoff, it gives me the impression that either the guy is unintelligent, or doesn't care enough to present himself well.

Secondly, sorry people, but lets face it, looks do matter. And just as that is the harsh reality in the real world, its reality online as well. Any relationship expert will tell you that physical and emotional attraction are both necessary for a healthy relationship. Not to come off completely shallow (I assure you I am not) but if I can see a pic of a guy and I don't see any possibilty of being physically attracted to him, then there is no use pursuing the match.
 
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Tank is online now Tank Post #9  September 21,2009, 11:31pm
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I don't know why people get so turned off by other people for not liking them from a profile. If people want to judge a person on their physical appearance to determine if they would like to get to know them that is within their rights. And not showing any photos? You don't really think will change your luck do you?
 
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dandy_lion is offline dandy_lion Post #10  September 22,2009, 12:30am
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Read "Blink" by Malcolm Gladwell
Appearances matter, ignoring them is just plain ignorance. I've tried to date a guy that I wasn't attracted to and despite everything else being great- it felt wrong.
 
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