Putting Specific Demands in your profile.


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MMingE is offline MMingE Post #1  September 21,2009, 10:51am
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I've noticed in some of the matches I've recieved that some of them have put in specific demands. Some were basic height requirements, some were kind of silly. I was matched with one girl who was a huge Yankee fan and put in her profile that she wouldn't date Red Sox or Met fans (and she was serious, she closed me out when I told her I liked the Mets) while others were more demanding along the lines of "Don't start communication with me unless you plan on meeting me, I don't need an online buddy." How many people have put specific demands in their profiles and has it been successful. IMO, I think these people are too desperate and if they're that demanding in their profile, I can't imagine how they'd be in person.
 
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bravethestorm is offline bravethestorm Post #2  September 21,2009, 10:59am
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Profiles are meant to keep a positive tone. If it comes off as a demand or negative...it can scare off a good match.

The people that do that may not realize that and just know their "dealbreakers" well. Those type of statements are just things they won't settle on. It would be best to state it more positive though or ask questions relating to it later.

When I was on eharmony though...I just answered the questions honestly and kept it positive. What you say about what you like is a dealbreaker for many matches on values etc...so just be you so you'll find the right one.
 
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pussinboots is offline pussinboots Post #3  September 21,2009, 11:21am
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I've had two separate matches in the last few weeks write continually in their profiles about needing someone who would TRAVEL, TRAVEL, TRAVEL, mostly in capital letters.

Both of them closed me for distance, both of them!

I just think it's hilarious and I really don't care, especially since I soon will be meeting a match who would be somewhat of an LDR - I think she is further away from me than they were!
 
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CapnCrunch23 is offline CapnCrunch23 Post #4  September 21,2009, 11:33am

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MMingE wrote :
I've noticed in some of the matches I've recieved that some of them have put in specific demands. Some were basic height requirements, some were kind of silly. I was matched with one girl who was a huge Yankee fan and put in her profile that she wouldn't date Red Sox or Met fans (and she was serious, she closed me out when I told her I liked the Mets) while others were more demanding along the lines of "Don't start communication with me unless you plan on meeting me, I don't need an online buddy." How many people have put specific demands in their profiles and has it been successful. IMO, I think these people are too desperate and if they're that demanding in their profile, I can't imagine how they'd be in person.
Demands are a common thing in many profiles. For me they are a huge turn off as it almost always focuses on a negative. IMO some demands can be traced back to either a past relationship or a bad expierence they had during online dating. For example in the case of the Yankees girl who's against dating a Sox or Mets fans. She may have had a bad expierence with those fans and now associates men that are fans of those teams to be bad dates. The same goes for the girl who demands you only communicate with her if you plan on meeting.. I am guessing she has been blown off on numerous occasions. (poof)

I wouldn't call it desperate. I would call it making their own criteria sections. In listing these demands they are in believe that they are weeding out the potentially bad matches, When it turn it is probably hurting them more than helping.

In other cases some demands maybe non neogotiable.. for instance if someone was to say "I do not want someone who has children" to me that is a valid demand but it is the silly demands like the above mentioned that get me. I've said this before on eha. For some it is easier to list what they are not looking for, then what they are looking for or who they are in general many people have no clue. So the negative demands just fill up profile space.
Last edited by CaptCrunch23; September 21,2009 at 11:57am. Reason: never going to win a spellng bee
 
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Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #5  September 21,2009, 1:42pm
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Its one of those things that can misconstrued online. I understand the demands because they really want to weed out those guys/girls in that category for whatever reason. It makes sense logically. However, the message doesn't come across as "you must be XXXX", it comes across as you being bitter at the last matches and it starts to show through.
 
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Oregon_Coast_Guy is offline Oregon_Coast_Guy Post #6  September 21,2009, 2:23pm
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The right match will find the demands appealing.
 
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JongJungBu is offline JongJungBu Post #7  September 21,2009, 3:22pm
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Hmm, people do that? I guess I can believe that. I suppose Must Haves and Can't Stands aren't specific enough. :P
 
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PR_Princess is offline PR_Princess Post #8  September 21,2009, 3:39pm
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Asking for citizenship status too pushy?

How do I put a positive tone on this? Not listed in must haves, can't stands...and I can't see myself getting all the way to open communication to find this out. I guess I'm gonna be here for a while
 
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Tank is online now Tank Post #9  September 21,2009, 3:51pm
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I do have on the front of my profile that any woman that does not show pictures of themselves soon after contact I will close. That was from some past bad experiences.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #10  September 22,2009, 5:54pm
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One of the profile sections is:
What is the most important quality that you are looking for in another person?
Is what you put there demands?

Or what about MHCS are they demands?
 
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