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JongJungBu JongJungBu is offline
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I'm a new eH member/subscriber. But my matches all seem to come up with the same trait: very active church-goers. Now, that's not a dealbreaker for me, it's just I am no longer actively going to church and never was very spiritual anyway (though I found God long ago and do worship in my own way). However, something I must have put in somewhere says I want to find someone who is looking for the Second Coming! Okay, I exaggerate, but for me some of them I close because of their over-indulgence in what appears to be self-righteousness. And some close me, because I am not active enough in Church myself.

Surely there must be something I have written that is causing all my matches to come up that way, because it's more than coincidence that every single one of them straight-up are very religious God-loving women (nothing wrong with that mind you). But I have an open mind and a VERY mixed religious background/family/upbringing. So, I just don't know what to do that would open up my matches to people with broader spirituality than that.
- September 17th, 2009, 09:18 am
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ScottK ScottK is offline
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JongJungBu wrote :
I'm a new eH member/subscriber. But my matches all seem to come up with the same trait: very active church-goers. Now, that's not a dealbreaker for me, it's just I am no longer actively going to church and never was very spiritual anyway (though I found God long ago and do worship in my own way). However, something I must have put in somewhere says I want to find someone who is looking for the Second Coming! Okay, I exaggerate, but for me some of them I close because of their over-indulgence in what appears to be self-righteousness. And some close me, because I am not active enough in Church myself.

Surely there must be something I have written that is causing all my matches to come up that way, because it's more than coincidence that every single one of them straight-up are very religious God-loving women (nothing wrong with that mind you). But I have an open mind and a VERY mixed religious background/family/upbringing. So, I just don't know what to do that would open up my matches to people with broader spirituality than that.
I had the same problem when I first joined.

I obviously filled something out wrong, because although I tend to lean Conservative, I am not particularly religious.

The Matches I got were listing God/Religion/Bible, etc, at least 15+ times in their 1 page Profile.
This is just WAY too much for me. Once is fine, anything more and I am not interested.

I had to call up EHarmony support, and asked them to change whatever it was in my answers that triggered those kind of matches.

They definitely tweaked something, because after that, my Matches were back to what I was looking for.

So I would highly recommend calling up EHarmony support and asking the same thing I did.
- September 17th, 2009, 06:18 pm
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Iconography Iconography is offline
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I received a lot of matches like that too... and I am an atheist, AKA "neither spiritual nor religious," as eH puts it. I suspect (and this is just my suspicion) it's not so much your questionnaire answers as it is because the USA is a very religious country and/or that Dr. Warren, the founder of eHarmony, is an evangelical Christian. That might attract more "active" Christians to the service.

Having said that, I will admit that eHarmony did match me up with at least one fellow atheist, and we are getting along great. So hold out hope for the future. You never know what the next day's matches will bring.
- September 17th, 2009, 06:21 pm
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neardc neardc is offline
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Be sure, too, to adjust your personal preferences in your profile. You can get quite specific with respect to which religious denominations you will accept (e.g., you can exclude evangelical or pentecostal Christians...).

If you make religion less important to you, that will also expand your match pool.
- September 17th, 2009, 06:55 pm
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panda79 panda79 is offline
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I've had sort of a similar issue - except for the fact that my matches all turn out to be the super-athlete types! Don't get me wrong - I like to be healthy, but exercise isn't as high on my priority list as it seems to be for my matches. I know I've entered something somewhere to get these matches, but I know that if I get matched with someone who worships at the gym, we're not going to be the best match (unless he's cool with doing it alone!).
- September 17th, 2009, 07:14 pm
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JongJungBu JongJungBu is offline
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Thanks for the response folks. Guess I am not alone in this. I will see if I can tweak something, not sure where to adjust that personality profile after I already filled it all out though but I'll look around I guess.
- September 17th, 2009, 07:29 pm
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline
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Hi JongJungBu,

Thanks for posting and welcome to eHarmony as well as eHarmony Advice. Sorry you’re getting matches who aren’t right for you. The only way to really have this changed is to contact our Customer Care team through our Help page: http://www.help-singles.eharmony.com. They are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You may want to contact them as soon as you can with your concern so that you can spend your subscription getting matches who have more potential for you.

Panda79 – same goes for you or anyone who doesn’t feel their matches are compatible in some obvious way! We will check into for you and do what we can to confirm that you are getting matched properly.

Good luck!

~Kate
eHarmony Advice Host
- September 17th, 2009, 07:34 pm
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neardc neardc is offline
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JongJungBu wrote :
I will see if I can tweak something, not sure where to adjust that personality profile after I already filled it all out though but I'll look around I guess.
Just click on the "My Settings" link at the top of the page in eH. That will lead you to several tabs; you can adjust your religion/spirtuality settings under the "Background and Beliefs" tab.
- September 17th, 2009, 07:35 pm
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MW77009 MW77009 is offline
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The other thing to understand, is that because someone is very religious, does not mean they will want you to be that way too. In my experience some will and some will not have that expectation. That is where the rubber meets the road.
- September 17th, 2009, 07:43 pm
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JongJungBu JongJungBu is offline
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Thanks again all. I tweaked my settings as suggested. and Kate found my account and adjusted it accordingly, too. Since I'm new I will definitely give it some more time, but it was quite an initial let down to see holier-than-thou plastered over every match heheh. We will just have to see how things go!
- September 17th, 2009, 08:12 pm
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