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melcalrrt melcalrrt is offline
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I just closed two matches because of what they said in their profiles. It's not what they said was bad, it's that what they said is not what I am looking for, not what I can give, or not necessarily they would be a bad match for me, but I would be a bad match for them. By choosing what they wrote in their profile it makes it seem like what they said was bad. Does this make sense? I'm certainly not going to chose "other" that sucks.
- September 17th, 2009, 06:28 am
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neardc neardc is offline
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You are worrying about this waaaay too much...lol.

Over the course of your subscription you are going to have close hundreds of matches. You will quickly find that agonizing over what option to click when you close them is time misspent.

And seriously, there is nothing at all with choosing the "other" option. Although some people here automatically seem to assume that their matches are focusing on whatever they perceive their own vulnerabilities to be (too fat, too short, too tall, wrong job, not highly educated enough, etc.), the fact of the matter is that it can also mean everything but that.

Just click the first thing that seems remotely appropriate and close the match.
- September 17th, 2009, 06:51 am
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MW77009 MW77009 is offline
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I think your reasoning is legit. I think it is worth giving people accurate feedback. At least you are not doing the 'other' option, which is not at all good. Also, at least you are taking the initiative to close people out.
It drives me nuts when people just blow you off with passivity.
- September 17th, 2009, 07:23 am
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neardc neardc is offline
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MW77009 wrote :
I think your reasoning is legit. I think it is worth giving people accurate feedback. At least you are not doing the 'other' option, which is not at all good.
In my view, there is no way to give "accurate" feedback with this system.

Well, it can be accurate in the sense that "he lives too far away is in fact true, so I'll check that, even though if I were really interested in him the distance wouldn't be an issue" but not in the comprehensive, meaningful sense of "yes; he lives too far away, but the "real" reason I'm closing him is because he also has an incomplete profile, and appears to be incompatible because he spends his weekends riding his motorcycle or going camping, holds views from the opposite end of the political spectrum, and is looking for someone who will be active in his church with him."

"Other" is actually a lot more accurate than the distance option, even though the distance option is a convenient one to check.
- September 17th, 2009, 07:58 am
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TheThinker TheThinker is offline
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melcalrrt wrote :
I just closed two matches because of what they said in their profiles. It's not what they said was bad, it's that what they said is not what I am looking for, not what I can give, or not necessarily they would be a bad match for me, but I would be a bad match for them. By choosing what they wrote in their profile it makes it seem like what they said was bad. Does this make sense? I'm certainly not going to chose "other" that sucks.
What about the "based on info in their profile, I'm not interested" choice?
All your saying is that you don't think you'd be a match.
That's about as close as you're going to get.
- September 17th, 2009, 08:57 am
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Work_in_Progress Work_in_Progress is offline
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I've used "other" plenty, and also had it used to close me, and there is often nothing negative about the person I'm closing, nor do I feel offended or assume it means anything negative when it happens to me. I also don't feel offended when someone closes me with "I don't feel the chemistry."

We don't even know these people in most cases; nor do they know us, and I certainly don't expect that even every man of those I do meet is going to find me attractive - would anyone really even want that?

I do wish there was an option to write your own reason, simply because I think there are times it could be useful feedback, but as far as rejection or hurt feelings... nah. We're all entitled to our preferences and such, and that's really all it is - nothing personal.
- September 17th, 2009, 09:26 am
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melcalrrt melcalrrt is offline
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Thanks everyone
- September 17th, 2009, 09:31 am
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Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is offline
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I close matches for the reason of what they have in their profile. I don't consider that what they wrote is bad just that what they have said is an instant indication that we would not be compatible.

I most frequently use this reason when that talk about riding their motorcycle though I closed one yesterday because she had something about God in every section.
- September 17th, 2009, 09:39 am
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JongJungBu JongJungBu is offline
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
though I closed one yesterday because she had something about God in every section.
That is what I'm seeing in 90%+ of my matches and sometimes closing for that reason. (Sometimes not.)
- September 17th, 2009, 09:46 am
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Seneca Seneca is offline
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Melcarr.. wrote...

"I'm certainly not going to chose "other" that sucks"


W.I.P. wrote...

"I do wish there was an option to write your own reason, simply because I think there are times it could be useful feedback,"

I think the OP and "Work-in-Process" are both absolutely right.

Allowing subscribers to give only very ambiguous feedback is a disservice (and disrespect) to all subscribers. As a sender, anyone with any manners will feel like they are insulting the recipient - and telling them to "go ahead, there's hundreds of 'em". doesn't fix a thing. As a recipient, being closed for a "reason" that conveys no usable or believable feedback is annoying at best and usually baffling too.

The situation of being so flippant about the feedback choices sure makes a poor statement about the manners at EH.
- September 17th, 2009, 10:03 am
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