Unnecessarily Difficult 2nd Round Questions


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notyet is offline notyet Post #11  September 15,2009, 7:19pm
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YYsmiley wrote :
LOL, this is exactly my answer to one of the question my match asked me

Hi father
maybe you were one of my matches...
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #12  September 15,2009, 8:39pm
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notyet wrote :
i never answer questions immediately- even the first round. i always sit on them for at least three days just for this reason. i write all of my own answers (mostly)- even in the first round. so i want to make sure i word the answers well.
...

for the record- i have yet to use the stock questions in the second round....
When a match can't reply to First Questions in a day then I figure they really are not that interested and that I must be plan "Z", certainly not their first choice. Waiting "at least three days" is just playing games.

I have never asked the stock Second Questions either. Though I rarely have ever had a match that asked original Second Questions.
 
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chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #13  September 16,2009, 4:56am
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TheThinker wrote :
Just tell him "I need to feel my heart pound"..
and a "a stirring in my loins"..

ya know, some romantic cr*p like that.
That's it! Pick up some bodice ripper novel and "borrow" a couple of those "heaving bosom" paragraphs. Tell him you want to feel THAT for chemistry or don't bother!
 
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RebornInFire is offline RebornInFire Post #14  September 16,2009, 11:52am
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
When a match can't reply to First Questions in a day then I figure they really are not that interested and that I must be plan "Z", certainly not their first choice. Waiting "at least three days" is just playing games.

I have never asked the stock Second Questions either. Though I rarely have ever had a match that asked original Second Questions.

Hard (read--I'm fishing out your emotional baggage) questions on the second round are a major turnoff. I don't want to be psychoanalyzed to death by a complete stranger. Just as your answers reveal a lot about you, so does your choice in questions. Tough questions tend to highlight the other has having some phobias, relationship difficulty, emotional baggage, insecurity..you name it. I'm a laid back person, I need to be with a laid back person. Leave the tough questions to when you are not a complete stranger to me.
 
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BuzWeaver is offline BuzWeaver Post #15  September 16,2009, 4:03pm
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The whole 'Chemistry' thing has always annoyed me, its way to ambiguous. I understand it philosophically or metaphorically, but its not very practical. Have you ever heard anyone say "do you have any chemistry for me?" You certainly wouldn't want to go on Love At First Sight either.
 
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melman is offline melman Post #16  September 16,2009, 5:01pm
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The "chemistry" questions reveal major insecurity. What they really want to know is "how long will you stay with me, even if you don't really want to?"
 
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notyet is offline notyet Post #17  September 17,2009, 5:30pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
... Waiting "at least three days" is just playing games...
i don't see it as playing games so much as managing expectations.

when one responds quickly initially and then takes longer and longer because one gets busy or must comtemplate the questions for a longer period of time or life intervenes or for any other reason- the expectation of a speedy response is not met and worry, frustration and questions arise.

and then we here get the posts, "s/he has not answered me!!!!!!!"

but when you deliberately pace the rate at the beginning and give personalized responses and not the stock answer- the match then knows when they receive your response that you took time and put some thought into you answer.

and they may- i believe will- be more apt to wait patiently for your slightly delayed responses. i have had good success with that technique for the 5 weeks that i have now been doing this.

but as always, it is just my 2 cents...
 
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