cp30 is offline cp30 Post #31  January 7,2008, 12:08pm

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It is strange, I think part of it is...it happens to you enough times that you get used to it happening...then you allow yourself to act in the same manner because you have become accustomed to the beahvior (speaking for myself anyway). I assume the other person wont take it personally, and will think I have become busy or found someone else, and whatever....and I think to myself...if they feel very strongly for me (cause at the time I might be mediocre and just not very quick to respond, or I mean to and just never do) they will "nudge" me and that will help me make up my mind.

Anyway, all of the above responses are good I think.

Just wanted to add -- to the one lady who said the guy disappeared after wanting to use the phone --

Well....I can understand that. A lot of times I would rather meet someone in person than ever bother with the phone at all. I dont really think phone communication is neccessary, or even a natural next step.

The phone is uncomfortable for a lot of people....I'm one of them.
 
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Hadassah is offline Hadassah Post #32  January 7,2008, 3:30pm
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I have been on eharmony since October of 2007..this is the first time I have ever done anything even close to a dating service. But after much consideration, I decided to give this site a try...There are at least 4 couples in my church that met online and they have the most beautiful marriages...I now know that the arena of Christian Singles is larger than our own home church...My age and my strong faith in God have actually limited my matches....but I must tell you I have met (just in the guided communication process) the most wonderful men...their profiles are so interesting...yes some close you out, some don't even answer and some are just very passive with this communication...but I am so pleased at the advice and the way this site works...Dr. Warren has done an excellent job creating this for singles...I hope to meet some wonderful men who think like me and then someday it will bring me to a very best friend...I believe you should marry your best friend...Good Luck to all of us...the destination has already been determined for you..."Enjoy the Ride".
 
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rninerie is offline rninerie Post #33  January 7,2008, 3:59pm
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I wonder if it is considered a disappearing act if you cut off communication before meeting in person? My situation is I have been communicating with a man for some time and he didn't have a picture posted until several weeks ago (I have had pics posted from the start). He described himself totally different than what is pictured and I am not attracted to him at all, in fact, I couldn't even imagine kissing him. I didn't want to appear insensitive, so I have kept responding to his e-mails. Now he is pressing to meet in person. I just don't know how to handle this other than "disappear" which I know sounds cowardly, but is crossing my mind. Would it be kinder to lie and say I met someone else?
 
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beachbaby is offline beachbaby Post #34  January 7,2008, 8:11pm
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i think eharmony should do as much to encourage matches to close the match if, for WHATEVER reason, it just does not work out. this also should apply to matches that have moved on to personal emails and or
phone. we should all be adult and honest enough to admit that things are not working out and understand when they do not. i might not be happy that someone chose to end communication, but i will survive. i would rather know it is not going any where than to wonder IF it ever will! i am not the most organized person but i do check my eharmony matches and if i see that someone is not a match for me, i just find it easy to close the match to let both of us move on.what is so difficult about that? it takes only seconds!if you are spending the energy and time to answer all of the personality profile info, you can shirley take a minute to close a match! and if you reach the phone stage and you decide it is not working, be a grown up and admit it....and you can even cheat and use email to do it if you must! but don't leave someone hanging!...i do realize that people move on but be kind enough to do it nicely! what happened to social courtsey?? this is a complicated enough process for most of us, so just try to be thoughtful!
 
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great stew is offline great stew Post #35  January 10,2008, 4:56pm
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I have joined eharmony about a month ago. During this very short time, I was lucky enough to be matched with somebody whose pictures and profile I liked very much. He was very quick to respond and we got through all stages in one day! My last response was elaborate and I fear much too detailed. Whatever it is, I've been waiting for him to initiate open communication for a week now. I feel like I could've scared him away with my speed. Besides, we are about 500 miles apart. At this time, I am so tempted to ask for a secured phone call. I am fully aware that it might be a sure way to push him even further away. I think, however, my profile is very honest and straight forward with quite a few pictures. He was not ambigous about liking me in his responses, and if he still does, he'll answer. What do you think? Am I completely wrong or there is hope?
 
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