Do You Ever Tweak Your Profile For A Particular Match?


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DeBrown is offline DeBrown Post #1  September 5,2009, 5:47pm
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Hey everyone,

Do you guys "target" or "aim" your profile at certain matches? And if so, is this ethical?

I do, and I think it is ethical, because I don't ever lie. For example, I have one match right now whose profile made me go "WOW." It's more than "yeah OK I'll fire off the first 5 questions and see what happens," it's a "Oh I hope I hope I hope" he answers me back!!

So in his profile he mentioned that he is a huge Billie Holliday fan. While I wouldn't classify me as a "huge" fan, I do like her and I have the complete set of her Decca recordings. So I changed my profile to add under "what only my closest friends know" that "I have the complete Decca recordings of Billie Holiday."

That is not a lie. I wasn't something I had in my profile because it had never occurred to me. But of course what I am hoping is that when this guy checks out my profile he will see "Billie Holiday" in there and go "wow!' no other profile has ever said that!!

So I will keep that info in there until this guy has read it and either closed the match or started communicating.

For a match that liked racing cars, I added into my profile that when I was young I spent a summer traveling around the country watching CART (open wheel) racing. For a match that had a lot in it about his volunteer work, I added in the summer my brother and I worked on a Habitat for Humanity house.

You see what I mean? I'm not lying, I'm just skewing my profile towards what I feel are good possibilities.

I will have to say it hasn't worked so far. But neither has anything else. All my matches have closed me before the first 5 questions have even been answered, including racing guy and volunteer guy. I have 20 in the queue right now, including the Billie Holiday fan. So I'll let you know!

What do you all think?
 
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tenderheart105 is offline tenderheart105 Post #2  September 5,2009, 6:20pm
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Hi DeBrown,

I've never changed my profile to get someone's attention. When I was a new member I would edit my profile more often to include things that I thought I had left out or to make it more specific. That's it. It's just a preview. If you are having trouble making it unique you could always post it in "Using eHarmony". People on here can be quite helpful.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #3  September 5,2009, 6:39pm
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I think you are fine to do this, and I agree completely with your opinion of the ethics on it.

I am a bit concerned that it may seem desperate to some matches, though.
 
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DeBrown is offline DeBrown Post #4  September 5,2009, 6:42pm
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Good idea, Tenderheart! I've also thought about using eHarm's writing service, but don't really want to shell out the $100 for it. And since I'm more or less a professional writer anyway, I don't think they'd come up with something better than I have. Posting it here would probably yield better results, in my opinion.

I'm not really having trouble making my profile unique, in fact I fear I may have the opposite problem. My experience so far has been that the men I'm matched with are quite conservative politically and religiously, while I am very liberal. I'm also unique in that I'm going to college at age 49, and I fear men my age don't want to deal with that.

I was just curious, though, if anyone has tried my tactic with any success?
 
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DeBrown is offline DeBrown Post #5  September 5,2009, 6:43pm
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Yeah, I have wondered about that, D Lion, do you think they would be able to tell I was purposely doing this? I'm hoping they will see it as a wonderful coincidence that I have the same thing on my profile that they have on theirs! What do you think?
 
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tenderheart105 is offline tenderheart105 Post #6  September 5,2009, 7:10pm
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DeBrown,

I didn't know we could pay to have our profile's reviewed. I noticed that a few other people were posting their profiles on this site (under DATING ADVICE then "using eHarmony") I just posted mine on the site this morning and people have been giving some constructive feedback.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #7  September 6,2009, 8:15am
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Thaliana1981 is offline Thaliana1981 Post #8  September 6,2009, 8:46am
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I think that could work, if and only if the match hasn't already viewed your profile. Personally, I doubt the majority of people read profiles more than once, unless they're really, really interested. So your Billie Holliday fan may never see that part of your profile. I think it's a good idea, in theory but may not pan out in practice due to the sheer laziness of people. Good luck, though, from what I've read here you seem really interesting.
 
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JoyfulVA is offline JoyfulVA Post #9  September 6,2009, 6:24pm
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I think it is perfectly ethical but may give someone pause if they can see you have viewed their profile by the time they are seeing it. If you view anonymously then it would seem to be moot. Good luck!
 
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Justin_ is offline Justin_ Post #10  September 6,2009, 6:46pm
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I dont do it but I also dont see any issues with doing it.
 
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