rRACINGRANDY is offline rRACINGRANDY Post #1  September 5,2009, 2:34am
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I would like to get feedback this weekend from the E-Harmony Users on perhaps the most frustrating aspect of the communication process. The "wait". I mean, you send your "Must Haves/Can't Stands" and then...the waiting begins.

You see your partner reviewing your profile. E-Harmony allows whoever reviews your profile to be listed as "Who's Viewed Me". So after 1-2 days of reviewing the Must Haves/Can't Stands, a decision needs to be made to either move on to the next step or simply "close out" the profile.

I would truly think that at this early point in the communication process, such a decision would be easy to make. After all, you have only sent the first line of basic questions. So if you read something in the Must Haves/Can't Stands section that you do not like....close out the match. It's easy, quick and to be honest, the right thing to do. But to keep going back to the personals profile and not close them out and not continue with the communication process.....is wrong.

Typically I will wait 2 days. If she keeps going back to my same profile without answering or continuing the diologue. After that, I will make the decision to close them out. Just no point in waiting. What's going to change?

This is not a "bashing" thread. I have had my share of successes on this site. But I feel the whole intent is to eventually go on a date and see if there is a "click". But why just review the persons profile over and over again after diologue has begun, jsut to leave them hanging?
 
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86CJ7 is offline 86CJ7 Post #2  September 5,2009, 7:54am

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What is the rush? I have had women wait for over a week without responding. And then they resume communicating. Everyone has their own time frame. Relax. Chill out. Enjoy the fact that they are so interested in you that they keep looking at your profile.
 
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yoga_gal is offline yoga_gal Post #3  September 5,2009, 9:13am
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Hi RacingRandy

Like you yourself said, everyone has their own timeline/system. Some people wait til after a free communication weekend to clean out, some have specific dates (after a week or month). If I see someone I truly am not interested in I close but if there is some interest and I am waiting for a reply I will give it a month or until the next free communication weekend. Then I clean house.

Best of luck.
Last edited by yoga_gal; September 5,2009 at 10:43am.
 
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tenderheart105 is offline tenderheart105 Post #4  September 5,2009, 10:23am
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rRACINGGRANDY, I hear ya! I don't like the waiting game either. I do agree with the other posters though that you could give your matches more time. I find it easy to get through the first two stages of communication but when it comes time to send out the second set of questions I will sometimes need a few days. I like to review the information in the profile and ask my own questions instead of the standard eHarmony ones. ...and yeah, sometimes the person just isn't sure if they are interested so you end up waiting and wondering. It is frustrating.
 
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dnnmllr is offline dnnmllr Post #5  September 5,2009, 10:28am
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rRACINGRANDY wrote :
I would like to get feedback this weekend from the E-Harmony Users on perhaps the most frustrating aspect of the communication process. The "wait". I mean, you send your "Must Haves/Can't Stands" and then...the waiting begins.

You see your partner reviewing your profile. E-Harmony allows whoever reviews your profile to be listed as "Who's Viewed Me". So after 1-2 days of reviewing the Must Haves/Can't Stands, a decision needs to be made to either move on to the next step or simply "close out" the profile.

I would truly think that at this early point in the communication process, such a decision would be easy to make. After all, you have only sent the first line of basic questions. So if you read something in the Must Haves/Can't Stands section that you do not like....close out the match. It's easy, quick and to be honest, the right thing to do. But to keep going back to the personals profile and not close them out and not continue with the communication process.....is wrong.

Typically I will wait 2 days. If she keeps going back to my same profile without answering or continuing the diologue. After that, I will make the decision to close them out. Just no point in waiting. What's going to change?

This is not a "bashing" thread. I have had my share of successes on this site. But I feel the whole intent is to eventually go on a date and see if there is a "click". But why just review the persons profile over and over again after diologue has begun, jsut to leave them hanging?
My hope is that I do not cause any grief to paying subscribers as I have yet to become a paying subscriber. I do get many "Closed. Reason = Did not respond/no photo". My hope also includes not missing out on a "keeper" for the very same reason.

I wish all threaders well.
 
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Michiganer is offline Michiganer Post #6  September 5,2009, 11:55am

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rRACINGRANDY wrote :
I would like to get feedback this weekend from the E-Harmony Users on perhaps the most frustrating aspect of the communication process. The "wait".
I appreciate that each of us probably has a different "most frustrating" part of it and "the wait" is not it for me. For me, the most frustrating part of eHarmony is getting matched with people that are pretty clearly not going to be very compatible. Let me give you an example. I hold a PhD and the last few matches have been with a hairstylist/part-time school bus driver and an auto factory assembly line worker.

Now I am sure those two women have wonderful characteristics and probably are good matches with some man, but it is highly unlikely that a PhD holder and a factory worker are going to have stimulating conversations about biological chemistry, organizational development, or the difference between freshwater and saltwater economists when discussing the macroeconomics of our country.
 
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Michiganer is offline Michiganer Post #7  September 5,2009, 12:03pm

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rRACINGRANDY wrote :
I would like to get feedback this weekend from the E-Harmony Users on perhaps the most frustrating aspect of the communication process. The "wait". I mean, you send your "Must Haves/Can't Stands" and then...the waiting begins.
Like men, many women work and much of that work involves travel. It's also Summer, so give 'em some time. Your patience will be rewarded!
 
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RebornInFire is offline RebornInFire Post #8  September 5,2009, 12:11pm
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Welcome to my world. I've initiated w/ questions and still have 20 women with no response. I can tell about 12-14 of them have viewed my profile and haven't either responded or closed me out. I'll give each one a few weeks but I really find "ignoring" and hoping I'm the one that eventually gives up and hits "close" disrespectful (if that is what they are doing).

It's gotten so bad I'm relieved when someone closes me out..I've been acknowledged as a living human being! Imagine that, I'm happy when I'm closed ;-)

Why am I doing this again?

To the OP...a few days is FAR too short a period to wait. Give it a week or two.
Last edited by RebornInFire; September 5,2009 at 12:13pm.
 
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