Matches looking for Perfection.... when will they ever learn?


Reply
  • Page 1 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
sasha979 is offline sasha979 Post #1  September 1,2009, 2:30pm
sasha979's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Nov 2008

USA

Posts: 227

See profile

My EH match was looking for Ms. Perfect.

"I'm looking for someone who looks good in a bikini, etc."
Can't stands:
Excessively overweight

Anyway, someone who is that focused on looks is going to have a HARD TIME finding The One.
It's his preference but not for me.
I understand that he wants someone who is physically fit, but he would have done better with "I want someone who is physically fit and can go hiking, kayaking with me."

The "looking good in a bikini" just gives a wrong impression (only focusing on looks) We all do that to some degree, but he's going to have to make an exception with some things.

Not all of us have green eyes either. (another requirement)


CLOSED MATCH
Last edited by sasha979; September 1,2009 at 5:17pm.
 
  Reply With Quote
neardc is offline neardc Post #2  September 1,2009, 2:54pm
neardc's Avatar

Toodles, sayonara, and happy trails! Wishing everyone luck and love...

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2008

Posts: 8,050

See profile

I imagine that quite a few women who look great in a bikini will close him for just that reason.
 
  Reply With Quote
jacsmit is offline jacsmit Post #3  September 1,2009, 3:10pm
jacsmit's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Feb 2009

Can

Posts: 213

See profile

Hmmm, I wouldn't mind having a partner who looks good in a bikini - and I'm not into excessively overweight people either. *However* not only does that not seem to me like wanting "Ms Perfect" but also...

- I'm not into super skinny
- I'm more into someone subjectively looking good to me, not objective standards of beauty
- I want someone who is athletic - not only to enjoy similar activities but also so they are *healthy*
- etc

Was there a lot more to the profile than that? What kind of replies are you hoping for here by simply posting the above? Stuff along the lines of "men suck - they just want skinny chicks", or ... ?

ps. Just saw the subject line again - so I'll add, if the above two items lead you to believe someone is looking for perfection, then I think it's *you* who need to re-evaluate your conclusions/assumptions. On the other hand, if you don't look good in a bikini, then yes, you did the right thing by closing the match. ;-O

Ok, ok, I'm not trying to be mean - it's just I don't understand the point of posting what you did - is it to start another men/women flame war over looks, or do you want reassurance/validation that you did the right thing for closing someone so "shallow", or are you trying to educate those of us who have some ranges for weight that we should let go of those otherwise we'll never find The One?
Last edited by jacsmit; September 1,2009 at 3:23pm.
 
  Reply With Quote
TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #4  September 1,2009, 3:19pm
TheThinker's Avatar

Just what you want to be...you will be in the end

Power Poster

Joined: Aug 2009

The Island of Rhode

Posts: 6,429

See profile

sasha979 wrote :
My EH match was looking for Ms. Perfect.

"I'm looking for someone who looks good in a bikini, etc."
Can't stands:
Excessively overweight
It may be just that he has a big yacht and wants eye candy sitting on the bow.
Look at the bright side, though... at least you didn't have to second guess his motives.
 
  Reply With Quote
DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #5  September 1,2009, 3:23pm
DancingFool's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: Jan 2009

Posts: 5,750

See profile

I don't think looking good in a bikini is demanding perfection. However it is a clear statement that the guy is interested in someone who is in shape as opposed to overweight. It's a preference he is entitled to have even if he is not being very tactful about it.
 
  Reply With Quote
ndkelly1 is offline ndkelly1 Post #6  September 1,2009, 3:26pm
ndkelly1's Avatar

hello!!! :)

Newbie

Joined: Sep 2009

St. Charles Missouri

Posts: 8

See profile

I am going to have to agree with jacsmit on this one. It is your assumption that he is looking for a person with a perfect body, and maybe he is, but that is what he likes. It is just like you, you are looking for certain physical traits that are appealing to you, does that make you looking for Mr. Perfect... in my opinion yes the perfect person for you.

I would rather someone be honest with me about what they want in someone they want to be with rather than lie about it... that is honesty. I would not take offense to that statement and I don't think I look good in a bikini, I would just close the match and be on my way.
 
  Reply With Quote
Robecology is offline Robecology Post #7  September 1,2009, 3:47pm

Cameron and me at Las Vegas 7/10 (in the WAX museum!)

Pacesetter

Joined: May 2008

South Florida

Posts: 341

See profile

It's either we're seeking perfection, or we settle, get in a rut, get in to debates which turn to arguments which turn to unhappiness which turns in to seeking perfection again. The gent seeking the woman looking good in a bikini and not excessively overweight could have said it more tactfully, but I applaud his goal (I would have even left out "excessively"), and I applaud the O.P. for closing the match; it's just her complaining about seeking perfection that bothers me. Seeking perfection might result in fewer divorces!
 
  Reply With Quote
Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #8  September 1,2009, 4:15pm
Mr_Right's Avatar

says this is the best wedding picture!

Virtuoso

Joined: Jun 2008

USA

Posts: 4,402

See profile

Is there something wrong with a guy wanting a girl who looks good in a bikini?
 
  Reply With Quote
LavenderFields is offline LavenderFields Post #9  September 1,2009, 4:37pm
LavenderField…'s Avatar

is going to play w/RIF in NYC!

Community Leader Alum

Joined: Dec 2008

Lalaland

Posts: 1,076

See profile

A lot of men may think you look good in a bikini, but few women will think they look good in a bikini.

WE (men and women) are harder on ourselves than what other people see. At least that is what I've seen... then again I also hang out with people who are hard on themselves

Unfortunately I feel less people are ashamed of themselves, so they will wear a bikini or a Speed-o when they clearly should spear us all of the view!
 
  Reply With Quote
sasha979 is offline sasha979 Post #10  September 1,2009, 4:37pm
sasha979's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Nov 2008

USA

Posts: 227

See profile

I understand that he wants someone who is physically fit, but he would have done better with "I want someone who is physically fit and can go hiking, kayaking with me."

The "looking good in a bikini" just gives a wrong impression (only focusing on looks) We all do that to some degree, but he's going to have to make an exception with some things.

Not all of us have green eyes either. (another requirement)
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3


« New Product: Eharmony Profile Assistant | Using eHarmony | Foriegn Matches? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
I am Sick and Tired of Getting Flooded with Worthless 'No Photo' Matches! Mr. Nice Guy Using eHarmony 44 May 21,2011 12:36pm
Do you use RelyID? Do you appreciate matches who use RelyID? Mr. Nice Guy Using eHarmony 22 December 25,2010 9:55pm
Matches dried up dreamingartist Using eHarmony 30 October 17,2010 5:41pm
Is anyone else having issues with good matches? Psycue Using eHarmony 53 October 31,2009 7:34pm
A large number of non-paying matches SpookyMulder Using eHarmony 3 August 9,2009 7:48pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Absolutely not. I have no idea why allowing gays to marry would affect anyone's lives, unless they're sexually insecure about themselves.” –  sun73

Join the “Did our President give up the election for a single issue?” discussion

“I learned that the woman's communication style has to fit mine or else it won't work.” –  sun73

Join the “Why do 40 yr olds still play games?” discussion

“Here's where to email if you think a match might be a fraud: matchconcerns@eharmony.com . Tell them the match's name and location so they can find them. If what's making you suspicious is an email ... ” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Match from another country...is he a "fraud"?” discussion

“I know you clarified you just want a general opinion on when people bring this subject up, but I'm going to give you both that and also what I believe you should do. The general idea most of the ... ” –  Herkemer

Join the “When is it time to discuss your position on having kids?” discussion

“And that's a very valid point. I get the feeling that eHarmony is keeping their price high to show they they are not cheap and therefore, their members are serious.It seems to me that combining the ... ” –  MicMan

Join the “Free Communication Weekend” discussion

“How long have you all been on EH? Thanks for the advice. I signed on in late April 2012 but have been on other dating sites in the past.” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “New Here” discussion

“The only one that bothers me is the "they weren't his kids so meh ..." But there could be a whole world of story behind that. Like "she dumped me and it was painful and I hated losing the kids in ... ” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 2:12pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0