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DeBrown DeBrown is offline
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DeBrown To be Irish is to know that in the end, the world will break your heart.

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I am wondering why eH can't have filters based on keywords. It is entirely do-able computer programming-wise and would save so much time and energy for members.

Here's a couple of examples. I am a vegetarian. I have recently been matched with a man who is a meat-cutter by profession, as well as with several men who list "hunting" as their biggest hobby. Why can't there be a function where I put "meat cutter" and "hunting" in and eH will filter out those who have those keywords in their profile?

eH brags about being so sophisticated in their matching "technology" yet they consistently match me with men I would never be interested in in a million years (and I'm sure those men wouldn't be interested in me either!)

Another example-- I am a city girl, and I am working on a doctorate degree in cultural anthropology. I do not hunt, fish, camp, hike in the woods, or square dance. Please don't get me wrong!! There is nothing wrong with those activities, but they are not my thing! I'm sure there are wonderful men out there who do those things, but we would make terrible couples-- I can picture it... on the weekend he wants to go deer hunting and I want to go to a fund-raising dinner for a charity that finds ways to control the deer population without killing them! LOL Do you all see what I mean?

I'm really disappointed. I am sent a LOT of matches-- 5 or 6 a day, but so far not ONE has even proceeded to the first questions! I close about 3/4 of my matches, and the men I do sent questions to close the match without answering.

I'm 49 and maybe there just aren't enough older men on here? I live near a large metropolitan area (Seattle) but the matches I get are all out in the boondocks because I wasn't getting any matches before expanding my location. And they are all at the very top end of my age range. Lots of them have their pictures taken with their Harleys. Again, I have nothing against Harley riders and they are probably great guys, but I'm just not that type. Being able to type a keyword "Harley" into the eH would eliminate both me and my match having to be disappointed at being matched with someone we would never date a million years, no matter how nice or good they are.

For all their supposed 29 levels of compatability, eH is missing the boat here.

Does anyone else out there share my frustration?????
- August 30th, 2009, 04:30 am
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Mr_Right Mr_Right is online now
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eH doesn't match on hobbies... they match on other things like personality and intelligence and so forth.

You're not going to find someone who is perfect, so keep that in mind as well.

You don't hunt, fish, camp, hike in the woods, or square dance... if you have that in your profile, that would be a immediate turn off to most men, because of the negativity, and unwillingness to try new things.

Have you tried putting up better pictures? Rewriting your profile?
- August 30th, 2009, 05:54 am
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Mr_Right Mr_Right is online now
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Do you think that, as a vegetarian, you could date someone who eats meat?
- August 30th, 2009, 05:59 am
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DeBrown DeBrown is offline
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DeBrown To be Irish is to know that in the end, the world will break your heart.

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Hi Mr. Right,

No I do not have that in my profile. I put down the things I LIKE to do, not the one's I don't, because I agree that would come across as pretty negative.

I've re-written my profile several times. Maybe I am too honest, although my feeling is that I would rather have matches close me out because they know, based on statements in my profile, that I would not be the right person for them.

You know what I mean?

I understand that eH claims to match on personality, rather than on hobbies, as you say, but I think that what a person does in his/her spare time, and what they are passionate about DO speak to their personalities. And that is what I feel eH is missing.

eH does allow people to use certain fields to choose whom their matches will be, such as smoking, alcohol consumption, age, location, even height, and religion. Those are not really personality traits, but they do speak to what kind of a person they are.

I guess what I am asking is why can I filter out anyone who smokes or who is a different religion, why can't I screen out guys who ride Harleys? Like I said, it would be a really easy thing for eH to set up.

And I completely agree with you, Mr. Right, that no one is perfect, especially me! :-) But we all have our "deal breakers" and I would like to be able to not receive matches that have my deal breakers, and bet they'd like to not get matched with me either! :-)

btw, congratulations and good luck finding the perfect diamond! :-)
- August 30th, 2009, 06:12 am
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DeBrown DeBrown is offline
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DeBrown To be Irish is to know that in the end, the world will break your heart.

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Hi again,

I think I could be with someone who ate meat occasionally but did it discreetly, like in a restaurant or at a ball game, in other words, not in our home.

And I will be the first to admit that I am a bit geeky and weird. Although I fit in pretty well here in Seattle and the Pacific Northwest. I'm vey liberal politically, I'm a very very liberal Methodist, I'm a vegetarian, I'm a graduate student with 3 part time jobs, and I'm really into saving the planet by recycling, using cloth grocery bags, and using alternative transportation.

A great Saturday afternoon for me is going to the library and just waking around in the stacks and finding really cool books.

As I said, I'm a little out there for a lot of the country, but not really for the Pacific Northwest.

But that may be a big reason I'm not getting anywhere with eHarmony. Most of the men I've been matched with either say or at least imply, that they are pretty conservative politically and religion-wise. Maybe that is who signs up for eHarmony, or maybe because I'm looking for men in their 50s and 60s, that's possibly a more conservative demographic? I'm inundated with either really uptight businessmen, or Harley riding, camping, hunting enthusiasts.

Any advice? (besides chaning who I am) :-)
- August 30th, 2009, 06:23 am
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Hi De!
Welcome to the boards. I am a vegan, environmentalist myself (I also use the shopping bags etc), and also have a PhD (engineering), so you are not 'out there'

I think you should call back and retake the questionnaire. I am SURE in the 'test' there are many questions regarding hobbies, I clearly remember hunting which I filled in as completely NO WAY. I also remember TV watching was filled in that way.

After over 300 matches I haven't gotten 1 hunter . I do like hiking and nature and I do get occasionally those.

Remember when you meet somebody you both will have to compromise in your activities. If doing what you love (checking library stacks) hasn't brought you dates, is probably because very few guys do that.

Check my activity thread and most people seem to say, that he for example can go hiking in the woods while you check out the library and then meet afterwards at home, right??

Agree with Mr. Right, it is based on personality matching and not interests, or physical attractiveness, or chemistry .. that is up to you and is the fun part of getting to know somebody!!

More importantly do go out with some people even if they do not check your whole list (unless is a non-negotiable), you never know who you could fall for

Lav
- August 30th, 2009, 06:35 am
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LavenderFields LavenderFields is offline
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Oh you can also check veggie singles, a vegetarian/vegan dating site
- August 30th, 2009, 06:37 am
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DeBrown DeBrown is offline
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DeBrown To be Irish is to know that in the end, the world will break your heart.

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Hi Lav!

You can call me Debbie. :-)

Yeah, maybe I should retake the personality profile. I'll check into that.

Maybe I'm getting more hunters because of my location?

I guess my whole point is why can't eH match on personality/compatability AND also let us filter for that other stuff. It is turning out to be too restrictive for me, and maybe eH just isn't the best dating site for me. (sigh) well I have a few more months left here, so I will try to use them wisely.

Nice to meet you!

-Debbie
- August 30th, 2009, 06:47 am
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j0hn8andy j0hn8andy is online now
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DeBrown wrote :

You can call me Debbie. :-)


I guess my whole point is why can't eH match on personality/compatability AND also let us filter for that other stuff. It is turning out to be too restrictive for me, and maybe eH just isn't the best dating site for me. (sigh) well I have a few more months left here, so I will try to use them wisely.

Hello, Debbie!

I can think of a few extra filters myself, but it is what it is...

I know advice not asked for is usually not welcome. But I notice we now have your first and last name, and when I look at your Profile Page, it also tells me your city and state. Unless some of that info is not correct, are you sure you want us to know all that? You've already created your Screen Name, so if I were you, I would go back and remove my Location from my Profile Page.

You're pretty new here. There are some Damaged Souls on these boards. And who knows what else lurking in the shadows not bothering to post?
- August 30th, 2009, 08:01 am
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chawks64 chawks64 is offline
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Wow, I'm thinking maybe I should move to Seattle!

I love meat, don't mind hunters, and a long ride on a Harley or a Honda sounds like heaven to me.

And I'm already a Seahawks fan, so...

Hey, Debbie, start sending 'em my way!
- August 30th, 2009, 09:28 am
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