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Wonderwoman402 Wonderwoman402 is offline
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Okay.... I'll confess. I'm often running late. Oh, I'm on time for things with hard and fast deadlines/start times, like flights (I'm early for those), concerts, weddings, and movies. But I run late for nearly everything else... work, lunch, parties, etc. I have always been this way, ever since I was a young teen. It is unlikely I will change. My friends are used to it, and fortunately we're all flexible about get togethers.

If a match puts "Punctuality.... I can't stand someone who is always late" in their "Must Haves/Can't Stands," should I just go ahead and close him out?
- August 26th, 2009, 09:52 pm
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Fire_Dragon76 Fire_Dragon76 is offline
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For me, punctuality is a big deal. I am typically early for everything because I need transition time. When people arrange to meet with me at a specific time and they are late without calling or otherwise notifying me, I feel disrespected. This is something I communicate with a partner, so it's not an out-of-the-blue declaration. Once I've communicated this with a partner, if they choose to continue in the behavior, it's over.

I don't think I'd close out a match because he places punctuality in his MH/CS if I were you, though. On eH, it's too difficult to tell the degree to which certain things matter to an individual or where they're coming from in selecting certain responses. If you are interested in someone who includes this in his MH/CS, ask him to explain more at your first opportunity.
- August 27th, 2009, 03:08 am
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MicMan MicMan is offline
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I work in an industry where seconds count. If something starts at 7:00 that means 7:00:00...not 6:59, not 7:01 and not even 7:00:02. My watch and our clocks get reset on a daily basis to the atomic clock.

Time is important to me, but I'm not so crazy that I demand something to the second. I do, however, expect that if I say we're going to meet somewhere at six for dinner that you're there by six. I've always been a punctual person and I usually am early.

To me, being chronically late without a valid reason is rude. I have people in my family that show up at least 30 minutes late to anything. We now give them a different time for when things start so we can start on the schedule that we originally intended.

I pretty much never close someone out for one MH/CS unless there are other red flags that I've seen. Better to ask him about what, exactly, he means by this if you're concerned.
Last edited by MicMan; August 27th, 2009 at 06:25 am. Reason: Because I forgot to mention MH/CS
- August 27th, 2009, 06:23 am
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melman melman is offline
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Agree with all the above. Being late is something you choose to do. You could just as easily choose to be on time so "it is unlikely I will change" is just nonsense. I'm sure there's a psychological explanation which I won't try to guess at, but I'm sure it's not a good one.
- August 27th, 2009, 07:16 am
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Being disrespectful and rude is pretty much a dealbreaker for most people. Being habitually late is disrespectful and rude. Oftentimes it's a sign that the person is an 'all about me' type of person and that's a personality trait that I'll avoid. Being late itself may not be a dealbreaker, but coupled with other issues, may be.

Everyone has a problem once in awhile and occasionally being late is understandable but it's just as easy to be habitually on time as it is to be habitually late.
Last edited by tweet37; August 27th, 2009 at 08:19 am.
- August 27th, 2009, 08:16 am
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Did you grow up with rebellion towards daddy issues?
- August 27th, 2009, 09:01 am
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TheThinker TheThinker is offline
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Wonderwoman402 wrote :
Okay.... I'll confess. I'm often running late. Oh, I'm on time for things with hard and fast deadlines/start times, like flights (I'm early for those), concerts, weddings, and movies. But I run late for nearly everything else... work, lunch, parties, etc. I have always been this way, ever since I was a young teen. It is unlikely I will change. My friends are used to it, and fortunately we're all flexible about get togethers.

If a match puts "Punctuality.... I can't stand someone who is always late" in their "Must Haves/Can't Stands," should I just go ahead and close him out?
If a match puts that in their "can't stand" list, chances are it's a huge deal for them.
As you know, we choose to be late for things we know we don't pay consequences for. You said you're "late for work"..obviously, your boss lets you slide on that, so...you continue doing it.
But, you're "early for flights", because you have to be...a direct cause/effect.

Well, maybe the real question is: would you be on time for dates?
- August 27th, 2009, 09:19 am
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Wow I didn't realize being late was such a terrible crime! Isn't it nice to ask a simple question and get a psych evaluation in return???

Um, I'm not the most punctual person in the world as well, and I don't think it's because of rudeness or disrespect (Well I often have those too, but it's unrelated ). I have been ADD all my life and being on time for something is actually difficult for me. I've seen that puncutality thing in people MHCS and have wondered too. I'd make an effort to get to know the person a little better before actually closing them, though.
- August 27th, 2009, 10:50 am
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I have always been on time for work if not early (just incase of traffic) unless I over slept which is rare. I usually wake up before its time to get up but just incase I have 2 alarms set in my cell phone as well as my alarm clock. Very important to me to be on time for work and always have. As for other things, well, it is important to try and be on time if you can but I have been known to slack off and I surely don't make it an issue for anyone else.
- August 27th, 2009, 02:29 pm
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Wonderwoman402 wrote :
Okay.... I'll confess. I'm often running late. Oh, I'm on time for things with hard and fast deadlines/start times, like flights (I'm early for those), concerts, weddings, and movies. But I run late for nearly everything else... work, lunch, parties, etc. I have always been this way, ever since I was a young teen. It is unlikely I will change. My friends are used to it, and fortunately we're all flexible about get togethers.

If a match puts "Punctuality.... I can't stand someone who is always late" in their "Must Haves/Can't Stands," should I just go ahead and close him out?
I am punctual and hate people who are late. It is disrespectful. I had a lunch date last week and waited over 15 minutes for the guy to show up. I was irritated as yes I needed to get back to work. He ended up being a no for other reasons but he did not do himself a favor being that late (and not calling).

I would not put this in my MHCS but if someone did and you know you will always be late then maybe do them a courtesy and close. You closed a guy for having to go to the gym before your date-to me this is at least as big a deal.
- August 27th, 2009, 02:58 pm
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